So, we had a go at shh/pat but not sure if we did it correctly

[whoopwhoopbib]

Last night we decided to give dd (aged 12.5 months) a bedtime (instead of anytime that she looked tired) and then after I fed her instead of holding her for half an hour until she was properly asleep I put her straight into her cot.

I couldn't do cc so I stayed with her and rubbed her tummy until she fell asleep which only took a couple of minutes.

So feeling very pleased with myself I attempted the same at 2.45am, after I fed her put her in her cot and rubbed and shh'd again but she just screamed and kept getting up for 2 hours . After 1.5 hours I swapped with dp and he was the one who got her to sleep. She also woke twice more after that which is unusual for her and dp went to her both times.

Now did we do anything wrong? Neither of us spoke to her or picked her up but we both felt awful doing this and although she is fine today I don't want to upset her long term.

We plan to try again tonight so any advice would be appreciated please!

[Andcake]

Marking my place as interested and Just want to sympathise - we tried shh pat with 7 mo ds- like you it worked earlier on in the night then failed at 3 am after a feed leading to a few hours of everyone being up! Only holding ds got him back to sleep :-(

[Middlesexmummy]

Hi , what's your dd s routine and feeding during the day , interested as my daughter is the same

[whoopwhoopbib]

Thank you I am so glad we also aren't the only ones struggling with it.

I refused to pick her up in the end because I was so desperate to go to bed that I thought if I did that then I would have wasted my time so far!

[whoopwhoopbib]

middlesexmummy a rough outline is:-

wake 8am
Breakfast 8.30
bf 10.30
nap 10.30-11 or 12
lunch when she wakes
bf 3.30
dinner 5.30-6
bath 7
bed 7.30.

These times do vary slightly and on the days I work we try and keep it the same but with ebm in a cup so the nap doesn't always happen/last as long.

[Middlesexmummy]

I'm currently sshing and patting myself so will reply soon

[whoopwhoopbib]

Am now feeding so will check in shortly (hopefully)

[whoopwhoopbib]

Well I'm back I was only with her for 10 mins and as soon as she dropped off while feeding I picked her up, shh'd, and laid her in her cot. She opened her eyes but closed them again so I tucked her in and left.

Please let her do this in the night!!

[Middlesexmummy]

Hi , I'm back
My 12.5 month old is now able to fall asleep in her cot but.... I do have to ssh and pat her in the guest bedroom, move her into
Her cot whilst she s half asleep and then run out before she sees me!!
Her routine goes like this
5am 4oz feed
745 awake and has porridge
If she s at nursery they will give her a snack around 930
Nap around 50 mins at 10 ish
1145 lunch
Between 1-2 another nap around 1.5 hours , shorter if at nursery
4pm tea
6pm weetabix
645 bath
715 4-6oz bottle then begins the sshing and patting , when she s half asleep I then move her to her cot
She does wake up a few times but we usually pat her or pop her dummy in and she generally sleeps the night

[Middlesexmummy]

I'm wondering if it would help if u lay her down somewhere else and made sure she was half asleep before moving her

[whoopwhoopbib]

I forgot the night bf in my routine which is anywhere between 3-5am!

She does fall asleep on my lap but as soon as I move her or dp takes her from me she wakes up so I'm not sure that getting her to sleep on our bed then moving her would work.

Looking at your routine I don't think she can be hungry which is something I worry about hence the feed in the night. She has snacks when I'm at work and not able to bf and lunch and dinner are always two courses.

How long do you shh pat for ib the night and how long does she cry for (if at all)?

[Middlesexmummy]

Also , when u feed her at 245, does she wake for that or do you wake her ....

[whoopwhoopbib]

she wakes for that, she has been waking at around 11.30 for the last couple of weeks so dp goes in as I don't think she needs a feed at that time. Up until now he has cuddled her back to sleep but is now banned from doing so .

On rare occasions she has slept all the way through but apart from the nights she has had calpol for her teeth I can't work out what is different on those lovely, wonderful nights!

[Middlesexmummy]

Hi , The quickest ssh and pat has been 5 mins whilst the longest has been around 20, generally though it's prob about 10 mins , then I feed her whilst her eyes are closing and make the drop off... She did go through a phase where I was giving her a dream feed at 10 but then found she was waking for a feed between 1-3am . Now I give her a small snack such as weetabix , malt loaf etc then her bedtime bottle and it keeps her going till around 5. My issue is whether she should be getting up for that bottle then at 12 months
It sounds as though she needs to
Learn to self settle , it mayb painful but she will eventually learn. I agree with you , you dh shouldn't cuddle her to sleep as she will expect that then
My dd just stirred but it was a case of her dummy falling out

[whoopwhoopbib]

Hopefully tonight will be a bit better, if we can get the screaming etc down a bit from 2 hours I will be pleased as it's then heading in the right direction at least.

With regards to the night feed I have read and been told by hv's that by this age as long as they are eating well during the day there shouldn't be a need for a feed it's probably just a habit. I don't feel ready to stop her's yet though in case she is hungry/thirsty and can't tell me.

[Middlesexmummy]

Yes mine says the same but I daren't tell her about the 5am bottle lol
My dd has just woken up screaming , she s teething so is hurting q badly , she has no teeth yet but maybe tonight s the night . This is q unusual for her to wake screaming unless she s I'll. Her eyes remained closed throughout though ......

[whoopwhoopbib]

The night has gone well, dd woke up around midnight due to coughing as she has a slight chest infection so dp gave her a cuddle then put her back to bed and stroked/patted her back to sleep.

She has then slept until now (6am) so I'm feeding her and hopefully she will go back to sleep for a little longer.

How did you get on middlesexmummy?

[Middlesexmummy]

Hi , my dd didn't have a good night in the sense that she kept waking up when her dummy dropped out, usually if this happens she will sleep through but I think that with the teething pain she was q unhappy. I'm dosing her up today so hopefully she won't be in as much pain.... Where are those damn teeth!