I need help

(27 Posts)
CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 05:53:18

This is what my nights are like and they are becoming worse. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm exhausted. This is an 18 week old
Bed at 8 then woke at these times 10.30. 12.15. 1.15 fed. 1.35 back to bed. 3.30 4.50 5.45 and about to have a feed. I kept track of times as I woke up. It's ridiculous and I exhausted.
What can I do to encourage good sleep. He wakes for his dummy I'm assuming as he goes straight off.
I hope this is a phase and passes soon. We are away I'm holiday next week and I'm dreading it. :-((

CarlyRose80 Mon 15-Apr-13 07:32:28

Hi thanks. Yeah I've had white noise for him since he was quite small to help with day time naps. I've just started using it for night but still with no affect. Last was sleep at 9. Woke at 10. 11.30. 12.30. Offered food at 1/30 and took an ounce. Then slept for 2 hours till 3.30, then every hour till 5.30 then slept till 7 where we are now up. he had his bottle at 5.30 which was a 3oz!
I am still clueless. Done the swaddling thing and it just depends on his mood when he goes to bed as to if he will tolerate it but even when he is swaddled he still wakes the same.

2littlemonkeysjumping Mon 15-Apr-13 06:45:54

We have Ewan the sheep but I generally only use his when ds2 dropping off to sleep in evening. I took your advice leelteloo and put it on every time he woke lastnight, and, although he woke 5 or 6 times between 11 and 6, I didn't have to pick him up once- that's an enormous improvement on the usual! Could be just chance as no two nights are the same but I am going to take it as (1) a sign that things are improving and (2) I can say hand on heart that although he's not sleeping through the night, at least he's going through the night without milk!

I would love to swaddle as it is definitely his active little arms knocking out the soother etc, but he hates it, has done from the start. I swaddled ds1 til 5 months! Such different boys! Anyway thanks for advice and hope the rest of you fared well.

leelteloo Sun 14-Apr-13 22:10:42

Have you tried playing white noise? I down loaded an ap for my iPod which had a good free selection. Played it quite loud to ds and it really helped him stay settled. Play it all night. I choose the washing machine sound as it seemed rhythmical and soothing. The sound helps keep baby asleep during sleep cycles. You can buy a toy call Ewan sleep sheep or some such thing, which plays white noise? Have you tried swaddling; my dd and ds loved it and it really settled them?

2littlemonkeysjumping Sun 14-Apr-13 21:56:26

Sorry- typo- me and dh bickering!! Not ds, although ds1 isn't getting the best out of me at the moment either!!!

2littlemonkeysjumping Sun 14-Apr-13 21:54:58

My boy has, since Friday or so, been feeding really badly. He's never been a brilliant feeder, but since fri is only taking 3-4 oz at a real push, 5 bottles/day. And he's going 12-14 hours over night completely refusing milk (I usually feed him when he wakes overnight, once or twice, but he's now having none of it, screams if I try and find him a bottle...) so strange. Thought it was teeth, but calpol made no difference lastnight (and its a bugger to get him to drink that too!!)

If it makes you feel better, me and ds bickering lots too- so hard to be nice all the time when so bloody tired (he sleeps in spare room during week but helps out at weekends, I usually get a night off which is a godsend)

Anyway god knows what's causing it, but I don't think it's sleep regression here because he's been at it for the past 9 weeks so it doesn't seem very transient!!

Good luck tonight, I'm off to bed now, ever hopeful of some rest!

CarlyRose80 Sun 14-Apr-13 21:32:48

I've started with porridge at breakfast. He likes it. He doesn't take a lot of milk 4oz every 3-4 hours so its a struggle. He's a good weight tho but has reflux so might be the reason why he has small feeds. Porridge stays down and wil be introducing "teatime" next week alongside breakfast. But so far solids have made no difference:-((

CarlyRose80 Sun 14-Apr-13 21:30:25

Moan away. It's a living nightmare. We are currently away for a weeks holiday and due to being out and about baby has not slept in the day and we've had endless screaming in the afternoon as he's so over tired along with the not sleeping at night it's horrific. I'm at the end of my teather as to what to do. Is it sleep regression, is it teething? I have no idea. All i know is it can't carry on as A I'm exhausted and B me and hubby are ripping pieces out of each other, he says one thing and I say another. Glad this thread is here as I need the support right now:-((

2littlemonkeysjumping Sun 14-Apr-13 21:21:59

Honestly, you could be me! 4.5mo dc, wakes on the hour. Cannot work it out, I've tried everything, now he's not wanting any milk at all overnight but still constantly waking, sometimes soother has fallen out, sometimes not. No rhyme or reason/ sometimes not very upset, lastnight howled for 2 hours, waking up ds1. I am scraping the barrel energy wise and feeling so low. And the worst thing is there is no end in sight!

Sorry, a complaining post with nothing helpful to add... Just wanted to post in solidarity, know that there is another miserable mum out there going through the same motions as you! Am usually quite positive, can't last forever etc... Lastnight so bad that I can't be positive today but tomorrow is another day... You never know! Have you thought about introducing solids, btw, keeping baby full overnight? I haven't, yet, but it's on my to try list...

Good luck one and all. It is not easy.

CarlyRose80 Sun 14-Apr-13 16:05:58

Still the same here:-((

Benang Sun 14-Apr-13 03:22:23

SquidgersMummy, I've got to take your advice.... My frustration about not sleeping is almost as bad as the not sleeping!

My DS is 4.5 mo and waking every 90 min, every 2 hrs if I'm very lucky. Early am--like 3 or 4--he thinks he's getting up for the day, bright as a button. Throw in a few screaming nightmares from his 3 yr old sister, and voila, my life in hell.

It has to end sometime, right? Although DD took 18 mo before she even remotely slept through, so there's a long long way to go yet.

SquidgersMummy Thu 11-Apr-13 22:02:08

We cosleep. Obviously you have to weigh up any risks yourself but this is what I do: I have a bed rail fm kiddicare but bed against wall would work. Be careful of any gaps baby could get stuck in. Baby in grobag dressed lightly (eg in just long sleeved vest), keep an eye on room temp (baby will be hotter next to you). Wear warm clothes and use sleeping bag or quilt wrapped just up to waist and between yr thighs (ie no risk of covering baby), no pillow. Curl on side around baby: your arm is your pillow and stops them moving up: your thighs are like a foot rest for them and stop them moving down. Get your booby accessible. No alcohol, drugs. Always sleep between baby and DH: bf makes you sleep lighter and more aware of them. I sleep but wake a bit stiff as I don't move. Loads of advice on NCT, LLL, etc. X

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 20:14:46

Take him in your bed with you. If you can, push the bed against the wall, put ds on that side and you sleep the other.
Google safe cosleeping or search on here. Lots of advice about.

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 20:08:03

If it helps, my first was a nightmare sleeper for the first year. Now he's an angel. Will ask to go to bed when tired.

Dd is a different animal. Perfect sleeper as a baby. Then from 18months (around xmas) she started waking umpteen times. 3 out of the last 4 nights she's slept through. But, I think it's her teeth too. Her molars.

If I had my choice I'd rather they were bad sleepers as babies. You kind of expect it. Hope it goes well x

CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 19:29:39

Thank you. I don't know what to do in co sleeping as he sleeps in his own room in his cot and I'm never door, my room isn't big enough for the cot so what do I do.

SquidgersMummy Thu 11-Apr-13 18:25:35

Sounds like 4 mth sleep regression - my dd went from 2 feeds a night to up every, yes every 90 mins for 3 weeks. It will pass. Cosleep, go to bed ASAP. Take a flask of tea. Stop looking at the time or counting the number of wake ups it's too depressing. It will pass. HUGS xx

CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 18:16:29

I think I need to stop with at least one feed at night as he never used to have 2 until this bout of non sleeping. I will try with medicine from tonight I think as he is crying out a bit more. I will also try colder milk although he's never been keen on this before. Thank you so much for your advice, its comforting to know people are out there to help.

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 17:51:55

I always find they stay sleeping better if I get a dose in at teatime and another at bedtime.

If you don't want him relying on night time milk then you might have to/could stop offering it. I realise that you'll think that's unhelpful.

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 17:47:35

Sounds like pain of some kind, I think. Have you tried any pain relief at all? You never said.
You can give both calpol and nurofen simultaneously, just stagger them, so for eg nurofen late afternoon (5pm), calpol at bedtime (7pm), nurofen at first wake up (as long as after 9pm), calpol anytime after 11pm and so on. Just watch out for max doses in 24hrs.

Another idea is to give his milk cold. Might be more soothing for gums and get more in before he starts refusing.

CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 17:34:55

He always goes back off its just the fact he's constantly waking. Today he's hardly fed and when he does he ends up screaming on the bottle til I take it away. Think he's had one whole bottle since 9am. Maybe teeth I think. Don't want him refusing bottles as well, think I will lose my sanity. What do I do if he won't eat, he will just want feeding all night, which also make me think he's relying on the 2 night feeds he's now having and not bothering so much in the day, is this possible? God it's mind wrecking and I really don't know what to do.

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 13:42:33

Sorry, had to go out.

If he settles ok at bedtime just do what you normally do. When he wakes for 1st time, try to resettle in cot. If he won't then just take him in with you. You often stir before they wake fully and you can stop them from a proper wake up or feed before the crying starts. At the very least you get to lie down and rest.

No duvet or pillows for baby. Ours was in a grobag.

teacher123 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:57:54

We also went away on holiday at just this point and I won't lie, I was absolutely shattered! Hope it gets better soon, tea and cake should help dull the pain!

CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:18:16

Lol thank you. It's been about a week now so in hoping it changes soon. Good advice on the cake:-)

teacher123 Thu 11-Apr-13 08:17:55

Google 4 month sleep regression, and buy lots of cake. We turned a corner quite soon after this point and it settled down to two night wakings, then gradually down to just one. Keep nighttime dark and boring, keep to a consistent bedtime routine and grit your teeth! Sending sleepy vibes your way smile

CarlyRose80 Thu 11-Apr-13 07:51:14

Thanks. How do I co sleep?

acrabadabra Thu 11-Apr-13 07:32:44

Can you co sleep for a while?
Might mean you're not being fully woken each time.

Is it his teeth? Have you tried some calpol/nurofen? My youngest never really had any normal teething signs other than wakefulness. Nurofen better for teething imo.

Hope this bumps for more suggestions.

This too shall pass.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now