Nearly 4 month old with baffling sleep pattern!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Hi
I would be so delighted if someone could give me some suggestions. My 16w ds goes to bed at 7.30 after a bottle. He usually wakes for a feed around 11 (or if he doesn't I lift him and feed him anyway before I go to sleep) and then sleeps beautifully til bang on 3am. About 5 weeks ago he slept through for 7 nights in a row, but since then, every night at 3ish he wakes. I have tried giving him his soother- some nights this works and he will then go back to sleep but wake every 1/2 hr to an hour. I have tried feeding him- he takes a full bottle but is still unsettled for rest of night (despite vigorous winding and settling!)
I don't mind feeding him during the night (if I have to!) but I don't understand why he's so unsettled, irrespective of whether I feed him or not. He's not a massively hungry baby, he drinks anywhere from 20-30 oz/day, usually more towards 20 than 30. But he naps well during the day and is a very happy and contented and dare I say even placid little lad... I just can't get him to sleep properly after 3!!
Any suggestions? I know it'll pass, it's a phase etc, but it's so hard to believe that when you're living through it!

Off to bed now to get a head start on the little monkey! Thanks for any suggestions

[AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday]

He's just still learning to sleep.

Honestly, this is dead common. They do a good stretch at the start of the night when they are most tired. Then they get unsettled.

I don't know about amounts for bottle feeding I'm afraid, but I wouldn't be surprised if a baby fed at 11 is hungry at 3 at 16 weeks.

I would just try and find coping mechanisms for now. Want to talk about those?

[AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday]

Oh, meant to say, doesn't make it any easier to cope with though. I have two rubbish baby sleepers. I feel your pain!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Oh thank you for your reply! I should know what I'm doing as he is ds2 but ds1 was so much more predictable! I think I am pretty good with interrupted sleep but it's just the unpredictability of it that gets me- if he woke at 3, fed and went back to sleep I'd be happy as larry! But thank you, you are right- I am probably expecting too much from the little chap, he's still pretty new at this sleeping lark I suppose. Maybe I'm just getting long(er) in the tooth but 4 months of crap sleep and a super-active 4 month old are just taking their toll... Thanks again, I'll just stick at it, can't last forever!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Sorry I meant a super active 2 year old not 4 month old... My brain is addled!

[AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday]

Ah yes, so much harder second time. When I said I had two rubbish sleepers I realised it sounded a bit like I had twins. I don't. I have a nearly four year old and a nearly two year old who has only recently started sleeping through (with early mornings though).

Practically, try and keep night dull, lights off and reassurance the minimal he will accept without getting upset. He should get it eventually. 16 weeks is a really common time for sleep to go downhill too- it's something to do with their brain development, I forget what.

Does your 2 year old still nap? Can you try and sync them so you can nap? Would you consider co-sleeping after 3?

[FadBook]

Google 4 month sleep regression - what you have described is really common at this age and again at 6, 7 and 10 ish months

If he's slept well previously he's led you in to a false sense of security as it isn't massively normal for babies to have set routines at this age (they have patterns and then they change once you think you have it set! )

Babies wake for a variety of reasons: active brain (normally before, during development achievement such as rolling over, crawling etc), teething, hungry, just wants their main carer (you in this case), thirsty etc. because they can't tell you why, you have to do a process of illumination or ride it out.

Don't beat yourself up - just read his cues.

It could be

[FadBook]

No idea why missing text as it was there when I hit send!

Cross posts anyhow and see you have 2 kids. Was going to say it could be teething, hunger, thirst, development milestone like rolling over or crawling - they all affect sleep. Not much in routines at that age, only patterns that sometimes last a few weeks, then disappear!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Sadly my 2 year old stopped napping pretty much as soon as ds2 came along- I was gutted! Never loved co-sleeping as cant relax but might be worth re-visiting if it would help to settle him. I guess I jump too quickly to settle him as I'm afraid he'll wake his big brother... Both of them awake is too much to contemplate! I do have a lovely supportive dh but he works hideous hours so I have banished him to the spare room.

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Thanks fad- I think I am just expecting too much too soon, amn't I? I was probably much more perceptive on my 1st when I didn't have a toddler to worry about! Thank you

[AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday]

If you have a lovely DH, first thing I would suggest is that if he isn't working tomorrow, he takes them both for an hour or two for you to nap in the afternoon!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

I'm in the spare bed tonight while he is on duty... Really I should try to sleep, shouldn't I??!!

[CarlyRose80]

Hi. My son is the same age and was doing this about 2 weeks ago. From around midnight he would wake every hour for nothing. I continually go in give him his dummy and he would go back off. Repeat every hour until morning, then he would have a massive nap at getting up time!! I was exhausted. But now he's sleeping 8.30-5.30 with out waking! This no doubt is another phase that will change again, but I am making the most of it. I'm just feeding him on demand through the day. He's FF and takes a 4oz feed every 2.5-3hrs. So hoping that tanks him up for night time. I try not to let him nap past 6.30 in the evening alto this is sometimes hard as we have our tea and he really likes a long tea time nap, but I do wake him from this is if gets to 6.30. He has 3 good naps a day, 1.5 to 2 hours each time. Sometimes longer in the morning. Don't know if any if this helps but gives an idea of a routine for the same age baby xx

[AlwaysWashing]

My 15 week old is all over the place too. Have been reading the advice with interest. I wonder what it is about 3am as we too are doing much the same as you OP. I know you said you were't that comfortable with co sleeping but in the interests if simply not being up and down like a yoyo after the 3am fidgets start I reckon it's worth a try - again hit and miss with ds2 here as last night it was like having a ferret in the bed but the night before we all slept from 3am til 7.30am which felt quite civilised!
Good luck, it's all got to get easier one day soon!

[2littlemonkeysjumping]

Carlyrose I hope my boy is due to go the same way as yours! My dh looked after him lastnight to give me some sleep and he fed him every time he stirred and apparently he had a more settled night but I'm not really sure that's the answer either! Might try co-sleeping tonight when he wakes (at the witching hour) and see if it helps. Good luck to you too always washing, if you come up with any clever solutions, let me know!

[CarlyRose80]

I'm sure it's all food related as my LO has only been sleeping better since he's been eating more.