Half hourly waking. Please help!

[breadandhoney]

Dd is 14wo. Every sleep time she will wake 30 mins after falling asleep. She then needs to be fed/rocked back to sleep. Thus used to just happen during the day but is now happening every night too.

Dd will gall asleep in my arms around 7. I put her in Moses basket and she will wake up exactly half an hour later needing resettled. Rock, feed, shush, repeat. This can take up to 45 mins. Until a week ago she would then sleep til 1 or 2, wake for a feed and sleep again til 5 ish, feed and sleep til 7 ish. Now though she will sleep til midnight the only take held-hour sleeps after that til morning. In between these sleeps I will be feeding/rocking/shushing for 1-2 and a half hours!

I can't go on like this. I feel ill and the situation is really getting me down. What am I doing wrong?

Is this just a case if bad sleep associations in they she can only fall and stay asleep on me? Or is there something else going on and if so what can I do about it ?!

Tonight even worse. Now on our third resettling since bed at 7. Please help me.

[breadandhoney]

Sorry for typos. I should also say dd can't self settle. I think this has a big part to play. How so I teach her to do this at her age?

[Loubyloulou88]

I've had nights where my 7 week old lb has woken within an hour of being fed and going to sleep, all through the night. There must be a reason that you LO is waking. Too cold/hot, clothing uncomfortable, trapped wind? Also is LO feeding long enough to satisfy them? That's the problem I have as mine falls asleep on the breast and so doesn't feed for long enough to settle for a decent stretch of sleep. Not trying to present you with various problems but our beautiful babies wake for a reason, not just because they want to deprive us of sleep!!! x

[MummyNoName]

When she wakes in the day, what's the longest she'll be awake for before you pop her down for a nap?

[MummyNoName]

I've got to go to bed as I'm knackered myself but I have a 17 week old and older dc. We started to keep baby awake as much as possible during the day about 4 weeks ago.

So now he's up about 5.30-6am
30 min nap in buggy on school run
3 hrs minimum sleep outside in buggy about 10.30-11 ish
Sometimes a little 20 min nap in his bouncy chair about 5 ish if baby's really tired
Bath and bed about 6.30pm in basket
Wakes about 2/3 times through night for a quick feed(5 mins) and straight back to sleep.

The self settling-I found the more I shushed, rocked and patted the more agitated baby got sometimes. Dark room and quiet is sometimes just fine. And a sleep time routine will help baby to learn what is about to happen and what's expected. If you do the same thing each time baby will learn to settle quicker.

I only have to put the gro bag on our toddler and his eyes start rolling to the back of his head! Routine, routine, routine.

But sometimes babies just want their mum

[breadandhoney]

Thanks for the replies. Got dd down at 11 and now up again at 12.30. I really hope that's not the longest stretch we are gong to get tonight.

I put her down for naps after 90 mins awake time. "Down" however is into her car seat as she has got used to being shushed and rocked to sleep in this. When I have tried to put her into her basket to settle for naps she has just cried. Admittedly I haven't done this for weeks though as she has got used to the car seat and seems to know that means nap time. It can still take a lot of rocking though!

She will isially sleep (after initial resettling 30 mins in) for an hour in morning, 2 to slightly more in afternoon and a 30 Kim catnap in evening. Bedtime routine at 6 aiming for sleep by 7.

I'm all for routine! Our 2.7yo dd thrives on her strict routine. Like yours, grobag instantly evokes sleepiness and calm for story time and bed. We put her on GF routine at 6mo which was great for us. I was a me to use cc to implement it though and that's not an option for dd2 at this age!

I really think she has got to the point where she wakes every time she comes into light sleep and needs to be cuddled by me to get back over to sleep again. I think I'm going up have to get tough, come up with a short nap time routine and try to get her to self settle in her cot for all sleeps. But how? Do you LOs cry this elves to sleep or do they just lie there and close their eyes? How long do I let her cry before lifting her? I have a toddler to care for too so I don't know if I will be able to devote the time needed to crack this. But if I don't crack it I really think it will end up cracking me!

[breadandhoney]

Ok and she is definitely filling up during feed. I only wish she fell asleep that easily!

Room a comfortable 18-19 degrees, clothing comfortable. We use a grobag so no blanket issues. No obvious wind or other reasons for waking. Possibly teething as a lot of fist sucking at times but not always and she doesn't wake crying in pain or anything.

[MummyNoName]

Your baby might not be tired enough during the day and you may be putting her down for a sleep to early? If its taking 30 mins to rock to sleep in a car seat then she may not be tired.

When our baby has a sleep on the afternoon in the buggy then baby self settles. I literally feed baby with snow suit on, wind, put in buggy, wrap in blanket and cosy toe and pop in the garden. It's secure and I can always see the buggy so baby's safe. Might be worth you trying? I've done it with all of mine and the fresh air completely knocks them out.

I've never let any of them cry themselves to sleep, please don't do this at such a young age. I've always picked up baby when I know baby's getting upset/distressed. You'll know yourself there's a difference between a whimper, a frustrated cry, an upset cry and being stressed. It's better baby knowing youre there when she needs you and content rather than her not feeling reassured and unsure whether you'll be there or not iykwim.

I know tiredness is a killer. Our toddler is 20 months and all three dc have d and v at the mo and have been up all night being sick. Hot to go but back shortly

[breadandhoney]

Thank you for your advice. My mum recently suggested putting her outside. I don't know whether it will prevent her from crying due to not being rocked. But I will give it a go. Can't do that through the night though!

Sometimes I wonder if maybe it is trapped wind waking her up (although she rarely wakes up crying-it takes a while for her to work up to that) She does always seem to have some gurgles rattling round in her tummy even after a good burp. I've got infacol and gripe water but she just cries and spots them out.

I've been to sainsburys this morning and bought done formula and steriliser and bottles. Not really sure why. I think I'm just desperate. Don't know what I expect formula to do. She probably wouldn't take a bottle anyway!

My head is all over the place.

I take your point about not letting her cry. I agree she is too young for cc but I was wondering about what exactly other babies do when they are put in their cot? Do they cry a bit or go they just lie thee quietly and close their eyes? Dd1 was a nightmare at this stage too so maybe it's me. I honestly think I'm just crap at this. Toddler stage I can do. I'm good at it but I just don't have confidence in my ability with babies!

Oh and she is definitely tired enough for naps. She is waking up in the morning (after her series of overnight catnaps!!) with bloodshot eyes and looking pale and sick with tiredness. She's definitely tired enough! I feel like this lack of sleep can't be good for her health!

[breadandhoney]

Sorry for yet another mega post. So much in my mind and I don't know what is relevant.

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

Just giving you some sympathy. I've spent many hours perusing the sleep boards in the hope of some answers! My 5 month old is the same from about 1am onwards. It's exhausting and frustrating. The only things I can add is similar to the above.

My baby changes almost weekly in what will settle him - sometimes he like to be held, sometimes he like to be shh/patted in his cot. It's a case of experimentation and some weeks he'll drop off easily, some weeks it's a battle. I've even caught my DH 'shhhing' in his sleep as its become so ingrained on us!!

I don't know what most babies do in their cot - mine just rolls around and flails his arms if I put him in awake. He'll be calmer if I lie him on his side. I can then shh/pat al la baby whisperer (sometimes!).

I should also add that our sleep went downhill when I switched from BF to FF at about 12 weeks. Not sure why! Oh and gripe water can be added to a bottle if she'll take a bottle at bedtime. I've also found that as my baby grows, I have to adjust my winding technique. What about reflux issues? These babies, eh, constantly changing and keeping us on our toes!

The 'no cry sleep solution' is good at advice on helping babies self settle, but no quick fixes. Basically slowly reducing the amount of 'intervention' you use to settle them so you can gradually put them down in the cot more and more awake.

Good luck! I'll be reading other responses in the hope if ideas to help my boy sleep! (who is also always looking knackered poor thing)

[minipie]

yes it sounds like sleep associations, she has learned that she needs to be on you to fall asleep and so cannot put herself back to sleep.

this is combined with overtiredness which is probably what is making her wake up every 30 mins and taking so long to resettle.

the quick but harsh way to teach her she can fall asleep on her own is cc.

the slow but gentle way - basically you rock/feed/shush until she is very drowsy and NEARLY asleep and then put her down. she will probably ping awake again. keep repeating until at some point (this can take a looong time!) she does not ping awake and instead goes fully to sleep. the next time, you rock/feed/shush until she is a bit less drowsy than last time, and then do the same thing. and so on and so forth until you can put her in her cot when she is tired and she will fall asleep on her own from there.

I must admit we did cc so I have never tried the gentle way... I gather it is very slow but does work. with either, the key is consistency

[MummyNoName]

Cc is the quickest.

But please don't do this on a 14 week old baby.

[LadyWidmerpool]

14 weeks is far too young for CC. I know it's a killer! I wouldn't worry about self settling at this point. I would just do whatever it takes. Mine slept much better in her buggy (strapped in and reclined) than her Moses basket around this age so we just did this for a few weeks because otherwise we would have gone crackers. Good luck.

[minipie]

yes we did not do cc at 14 weeks. trouble is, the gentle way is less likely to work if she is overtired.

could you try co sleeping for a bit? if she can self settle lying next to you this would a) be a step towards learning to self settle in her cot and b) allow her to catch up sleep so she isn't so overtired. appreciate this may feel like a step backwards but it could be a temporary measure to get through this stage.