Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

(1000 Posts)
Suchanamateur Tue 11-Dec-12 14:36:13

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

Dreaming I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've had DS weighed, so I don't really know how it has affected his weight. I didn't actually realise until I came on MN that baby weighing clinics, or even taking baby weights, was something people did regularly! blush

No, I don't weigh often. DD was weighed once at 11 weeks, then 9 months, then nothing...

The ishoo is having twins partly. He was my bigger twin by a lb and a half. His brother was a little titch. Now the size and weight difference is startling, which is why I had him weighed, then again in 6 weeks. His brother had gained 250g to his 70 or 80g. Only weighing due to the sickness though.

Another unclear post <sigh> . Clearly I mean my vomiting, non sleeping DT1 has been massively outstripped growth wise by his twin. Maybe that's how it'd have always been and he's just going to be smaller, but with this constant vomiting, and DD and DT2 being 50-75th centile children while he was, earlier, as he raced up the centiles (mine were 9th for him and 2nd centile for his brother at birth) but is slipping lower makes me wonder.

The hope is worse than the despair. Whoever said that on here is so right. I'm currently hoping if we can fix his puking a miracle will occur and he will sleep smile

We are going away for a week, on Saturday. DD has just learnt to climb out of her big girl (single) bed. DT1 has puked into our bed most nights this week and every teatime. I don't think the cottage has a drier and I'm getting nervous...!! <chants "it'll be fun">

Oh, I know why we had him weighed- because he started on ranitidine and dosage is calculated by weight blush . And repeated it as I thought he was falling even further behind his twin weight wise.

Dreaming, you are mad. DH keeps wittering about having a 'family holiday' to which I cast bleary eyes on him and say, 'off you go then.' You're voluntarily doing it with three children, one of which is a non-sleeper. Dunno whether to give you thanks or a smack upside the head wink

And another thing about D&V - night time nappy changes. Since he only ever wees at night, I leave him in the one nappy. But with this bastard affliction we get at least one copious, runny stinker a night. He's unenthusiastic about day time nappy changes but night time changes make him scream and SCREEEEAM, not to mention kick his increasingly strong and very long legs, which isn't at all perilous while you're trying to remove a nappy akin to a swamp. hmm

And he had to do it at 5am when I have to be up at 6am. And nursery may well call again to collect him if he produces too many stinkers like that. DH is working away so I think I'll spend the time until the alarm goes off praying that MIL and FIL are back from their hols...

Was I clear enough about how much I hate changing a diarrhoea-soaked nappy in the middle of the night? And sleep suit? It would have been the hat-trick of bedding as well had it not been for the trusty fleece blanket underneath him.

The night is young, however. He's only done it twice tonight so far.

<steam> angry <steam>

HearMyRoar Mon 06-May-13 15:48:55

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate teething. Because I really do hating fucking fuck teething! angry

PoppyAmex Mon 06-May-13 20:27:48

Hello everyone.

Thanks Elph and Hear, that made me feel better about nursery - I've been paranoid that she might cry and hate it and they wouldn't tell me shock

My first stage of sleep training is a fucking disaster: progressive night weaning has been a nightmare and she's sleeping worse than ever, now waking up every hour and sometimes staying awake for 2 or 3 hours in a row. I'm on my knees.

Hear we just came out of a bad teething phase but she's pretty much done now, just waiting on the very back molars which I think will take another year or so. It sucked and I just felt nothing helped! With the honorable exception of this. Pretty strong stuff and because it's liquid it's SO much easier to apply than the stupid gels you have to actually rub to make them effective (and get bitten in the process).

Dreaming kudos to you, I get a weird twitch in my eye just thinking about going away on holidays with DD, away from all the props I need shock. Hope you have a lovely time.

NeedlesCuties Mon 06-May-13 20:59:22

Hi ladies, I found this thread and have been comforted by it.... although I haven't read all 36 pages blush

Here is a bit about me which I've adapted from something I posted on another sleep thread, will give a bit of background about moi:

"I have a 3.3 year old DS who slept like a dream until 2.5 years old when his sister was born. He was bf till he was one, but always slept alright, only woke up a few times.

She's 8 months old and a terrible sleeper, very rarely has slept more than 2 hours at a time. DS started to wake up approx 3 times a night when she was born and 8 months later it's still happening.

ARGH!!!!!!!

DH sleeps on DS's floor and I end up co-sleeping in the big bed with DD as I'm dead on my feet if I get up and down to settle her in her room a million times a night.

I'm sorry to be a moan, but I had to get it off my chest! All my RL friends and family roll their eyes at me.

She's fully bf, but eats solids really well. Sometimes if I'm out DH will give her some formula before bed but it doesn't impact how long she sleeps for sad"

Naps are another fecking headache, but I'll save that for another post!

ARGH AGAIN!!!!

Welcome Needles! 36 pages, eh? I'm on the MN app which doesn't give pages. We could call ourselves a novel! grin

Poppy That is exactly how gradual night weaning has been for me every time I've tried it which has been often. I've tried combinations of Pantley Pull-Off and reducing length of feeds until the sun rises for days at a time and all it ever results in is less sleep for all concerned.

Three wake-ups in a little over two hours so far. Why, oh why, will he give me one or two days of only two or three wake-ups a night then revert right back to shit again? He can obviously sleep - why can't he keep it the fuck up?!?

LimeFlower Tue 07-May-13 23:09:52

Hello ladies smile
I'm sorry for those with d&v,it's a horrible thing.The worst bit being changing the liquidy shitty nappy in the middle of the night with the kid screaming like a banshee and wriggling like mad.
Feel free to swear vent.

I haven't got much time on the computer because have to get on with decorating room for DS-evening comes and off I go to scrub the walls and such things.
Plaster we've had in the bucket doesn't want to dry on the wall so will have to buy some tomorrow fucking 22 kgs bucket that's never been used is going to the dump then have to paint the walls white twice probably as changing the colour to a brighter one.All this has to be done by next Friday because the new carpet will be fitted.
Going to MIL tomorrow,then baby group on Friday,friend has just had her twins so I'm in 2 minds whether to go and see her at hospital or not.Don't know the details except she probably had emcs and babies will be in scbu being born early (34 weeks).I'd love to see her but don't want to be a burden.
Off i go to get some sleep ha,ha before my calpoled DS wakes up-he's teething like mad and grumpy like hell.

I can boast about his skills though-he managed to chase and kill 2 spiders <proud mother emoticon> grin

PoppyAmex Wed 08-May-13 13:08:21

It only went and got worse!

Serves me right because I kept telling DH that "it can only get better" <bitter laugh>

For the past 4 nights she's waking up every hour until 4am and then she's up for the day! shock

Last night I went to bed with her to see if I could get a few hours sleep before the madness starts and she woke up every hour from 11pm.

I've abandoned the progressive night weaning for now - don't have the strength anymore <sits next to Elph>

PS: She usually takes one nap from 11am to 12:15. Can't get her to sleep longer, but EVERY TIME we have a time sensitive appointment, she sleeps for ages. Case in point, she's still asleep and it's past 1pm. ARGH!

HearMyRoar Thu 09-May-13 19:37:34

<sidles in trying not to look shifty> I have been avoiding mentioning this in case it turns out that dd has actually been replaced by aliens and I hadn't noticed but as I haven't yet found any strange pod like egg husks under the bed I am going to just come out with it and see what happens.

<deep breath> for over a week now dd has only been feedng 1-2 times during the night. This is a sudden drop from 5-6 times a night! She is still waking up but is settling without needing a feed, just a cuddle and shush is doing the job. Unfortunately I can't really offer any tips to those of you attempting night weaning as I have no idea why it has happened. I haven't done anything in particular to encourage it. To be honest i'm still expecting it to go back to normal every night, its pretty darn mysterious!

Totally impressed by your ds' ninja like spider killing skills lime grin

PoppyAmex Thu 09-May-13 19:50:27

Ohhhh our first victory! There's hope!

Go Mini-Roar!

That's brilliant, are you feeling a bit more rested, Hear? grin

HearMyRoar Thu 09-May-13 20:37:18

I'm sure I would feel more rested it wasn't for the cold I've got from spending the night with a baby coughing in my face. Ho hum. It is rather nice though grin

Yay, Baby Roar! grin Maybe she could PM Elphababy and give him tips. He's gone awfuller than awful the past few nights. Maybe it means I've only got a couple of months to go of this hell...?

PoppyAmex Sun 12-May-13 19:47:03

Hey Hear, how's mini-roar doing? Still happily feeding twice a night? <envious>

How's everyone else doing? Here things are still pretty crap, I gave up on night weaning and am just trying to catch up some sleep when DH is around.

Needles for us, the 8 /9 month period was the absolute worst (there's a horrid sleep regression around 9 months) and DD was waking up every 45 minutes. It got marginally better so hang in there.

Shh! Hear's probably sleeping! envy grin

Well things have been craptacular here, but I just noticed the teeny tiny shiny points of two new teeth, so that could explain the fresh hell we've been having the past week. Maybe he'll go back to waking every two hours now instead of one... hmm

I was almost resolved to go for cold-turkey night weaning over the next bank holiday weekend, then someone's gone and posted this article. It really doesn't say anything more than we don't know already, but it just says it so effing plainly. Fuck the night weaning, I'll cope. I always do.

I think MN should just link directly to this series of posts if anyone clicks on the Sleep board. 'Night waking is normal, people. Move along, nothing to see here.'

PoppyAmex Sun 12-May-13 20:11:20

Elph I read that too from the other thread. Strangely it didn't make me feel better. grin

I swing between "I must do something to improve this situation" and "DD will grow out of it when she's ready", depending on how tired I am in the morning.

Here's my problem though:

Even though I'm such a wuss and really don't want to try anything that might upset her (however briefly), the reality is she wakes up so happy and bright when she has a good night (2 wakings) that I'm now thinking she needs help sorting her sleeping patterns. sad

Any thoughts welcome.

Me too poppy but what?!

So, dh agrees no more holidays for at least a year then we will see how things are. Thank Fuck. Enough said. And that was with grandparents to help for over half the week.

DT1 has had his d&v tested, its not a virus, bacteria or parasite, so thinking intolerance related, maybe and he is now on domperidone, ranitidine and has been referred to dietetics and paediatrics for opinions. Hurrah. But best best best of all, he's not been sick once since adding in the domperidone. Not even the 4am vom into our bed one I always assumed was just being too damn full of milk.

Sadly, it has not affected the non sleeping one iota. Well, one night he only woke twice, for the first, and so far, last time ever. A week ago on our first night away. Both others up though so I still felt like crap. Now he's worse than ever, and I feel like a totally desperate failure at something again. Oh, and I have also abandoned night weaning again.
<sits beside elph and poppy>

He's 13 months though, surely he's TOO OLD for upteen million night feeds and wakings, someone, tell him for me please?!

strawberryswing Mon 13-May-13 06:39:44

Think this thread was just made for my dd! Shes 9.5 mo, and such a fighter! Put her down in the cot, she rolls over and stands up. Lay her back down, she stands up, lay back down, stands up. This game goes on four hours until she's so exhausted she's screaming the place down.

Then when she eventually gets to sleep, shes up every hour. A few nights ago, she was up for 3 hours during the night.

We're totally exhausted, i'm suffering from eye strain and headaches due to tiredness. Dont think its ever going to end! I dread nightimes.

Sorry but I just need to wallow in self pity!

HearMyRoar Mon 13-May-13 18:56:02

Wallow away strawberry this thread is basically one big wallowing pit of sleepy self pity.

I feel I should make it clear that dd has not stopped waking during the night, just isn't feeding as much. Which does mean I can usually get her back to sleep by cuddling up and shushing a while so better then having to sit up and feed every hour or 2. Not planning on stopping the cosleeping any time soon though as I think I would still be up loads if she wasn't in with us. Last night she spent 2 hours squealing and rolling about at 3am before farting a lot and finally going back to sleep. She then slept until 7:30 making me late for work. Typical hmm

Glad you are at least getting somewhere with the great d&v mystery dreaming hopefully a better belly will result in better sleep eventually.... <optimistic face>

About that being too old for umpteen million night feedings...you'd think, but BFed babies don't take more than they need, do they? And, as Dreaming and I can both attest (as we wash our vomit-soaked bedding yet again), they're not just doing a half-arsed suck. They're taking in a load of milk. Now, I've heard the bullshit theory that these babies have got used to sleeping only with a full-feeling tummy, but if that's the case then the weeks where I crammed DS full of very stodgy homemade rice pudding before every bed time should have kept him comatose past midnight. Nope - awake 40 mins after going to bed, then every 1-2 hours thereafter as usual for boob and nothing else.

Added to which DS is SKINNY (and didn't you say DT the Sleepless Spewer is/was on the small side, Dreaming?). We're doing exercises at our swimming lessons where we swap babies and he is a bag of not-very-heavy pointy bones compared to the others. Where normally you pinch a chubby baby thigh, with him it's just femur. He towers over them in height - he's eye level with some of the two year olds in the preceding class - but his fat reserves are zero, so maybe he really does need the calories from night feeds...? <sound of straws being clutched>

That article from the other thread did say many BFed babies will continue with night feeds well into their second year, and in part 3 or 4 it says that the sedative tryptophan in evening and night breastmilk helps to strengthen seratonin jobbies and whatnots <scientific> making them better sleepers in the long term. <starts building a scarecrow from clutched straws>

Mind you, I'll be in my box from exhaustion by then, under a grave stone saying, 'At least she's finally getting some kip.'

Good to hear you seem to be getting to the bottom of the voms Dreaming, welcome strawberry and, well, Hear at least you still qualify to be a member of our miserable band! grin

HearMyRoar Tue 14-May-13 19:49:03

Phew, glad you said that elph, I would, of course, be devastated if I had to leave the thread because dd started sleeping through grin

Last night she woke for a cuddle at 8:30, feed at 9:30, feed at 12:30, grizzles and cuddles around 2, then wake and big feed at 5:30. I know written down this sounds pretty crap but compared to how she was it's a blooming miracle.

On the night feeds and need business, I have, and still am, convinced that when dd demands feeding in the night its because she is (shock! Horror!) actually hungry. Like your dd she is super tall and skinny. She often gets mistaken for being much older then she is because she never had that chubby baby look and has looked like a toddler since she could stand. She is clearly not being over fed.

This theory is, I believe, supported by her choosing to reduce feeds herself. This has coincided with her tummy settling down (so improved digestion I figure?) and her starting to eat pretty much constantly during the day (seriously, she barely stops to breath). She's also started drinking much more water during the day which maybe helps as well. I think it's a combination of now being able to both eat more and then digest it properly so she's finally starting to get what she needs from the food and needing less milk. I think when she was younger even when she seemed to eat a lot her digestion was such a mess it was mostly just going straight through her.

Of course this is all based on absolutely zero scientific evidence and purely speculation so it's probably all a complete load of toss grin

PoppyAmex Tue 14-May-13 22:02:57

Crap, I've got nothing then.

DD has been on the 98th percentile for heigh and weight since she was born. She looks 3 years old and people keep asking her questions on the street and assuming she's just shy - I'm too blush to tell them she's just 13 months old and can't talk.

She also eats like a horse all day long.

Maaaaaybe because she's SO big, she needs to feed a lot to maintain her physique? <snatches Elph's straws>

She's back to waking up for 2 hours at a time. I'm at a loss angry

strawberry the dreaded 9 month regression IS a bitch; that was the worst period for us by far.

Dreaming any news on DT1?

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