Can we have clarification on venemous name calling in postings?

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

This is a dreadful thread and has got serioulsy out of hand: www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=7&threadid=328165&stamp=070523185244

And there have been others recently, I love MN but don't like the level of bitchiness and name calling that has occurred recently

[Twiglett]

venemous? I miss all the interesting threads

basically personal attacks aren't allowed

[lulumama]

personal attacks are not allowed

i think is it up to us to report them, i imagine MNHQ cannot police every thread?

[wabbit]

Calling someone a bitch because they come on and ask how best to facilitate their affair with a married man on a parenting forum, a thread that could not have been more clearly designed to wind people up... wow, I can't believe THAT happened .

Yes namecalling is out of order, agreed, but for some of these women this is a VERY sensitive subject. There are women here whose relationships are disintegrating right now because of their husbands' extra marital affairs.

Imagine if someone came on and said "Hey, where the best place to get an abortion?!" and acted like it was all a big joke - reckon that would generate any venom?

[wabbit]

And a post WAS deleted, wasn't it, because other posters said "out of order"

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Maybe I am being naive but I just don't get it?? Why do people have to be so horrible??

[lulumama]

the post that was deleted was a personal attack, and that is why it was deleted

it was more than calling the OP a bitch

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Surely avoiding a thread and thus letting it drop out of active convos is the best way to deal with something contraversial?

[wabbit]

The thing is, milf (niiice ) - you go in and read a thread, and someone is being flippant about something that really tears your heart out - it's bloody hard to walk away.

[Twiglett]

haven't read thread but someone having an affair with a married man completely outrages my moral centre and I am fairly certain that I would be able to have anything other than condemnation for the person professing to be on that path .. it is a peurile, selfish and horrifically cruel choice and I can understand why hackles would be raised

[Twiglett]

oh and you can replace married man by married woman or adult with children in committed relationship and I would feel exactly the same way

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Oh absolutely I agree that what she is doing is dreadful but surely your personal viewpoint can be explained without resorting to personal name calling. Or alternatively ignore it. I find some threads heart wrenching for personal reasons (i.e have a major fertility problem and find the 'oh bugger I'm pregnant again' thread extremely painful so I just ignore them).

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

sorry that should say threads not thread!

[nappyaddict]

wow i saw that thread when it first started and it will all nice and friendly.

[harman]

Message withdrawn

[Desiderata]

I agree with your broad point, milf , but no one could have made an informed choice about avoiding that thread. People were sucked in on a different premise entirely.

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Harman - maybe its because the number of members has grown significantly due to all the publicity. You get a diverse mix of people from all walks of life - some walks are more extreme than others Is inevitable that you will get clashes, I'm all for healthy debate just not the nastiness.

[foxinsocks]

I think the affairs ones have always got heated for obvious reasons I guess

[Moomin]

I've just resorted to some name-calling on one thread - and I'm not proud of it but I'm also not aplogising to the poster it refers to who has accused me of lying about the situation I've posted about and is like a dog with a bone. I've never felt driven to this before but I'm feeling sensitive at the moment (things going on in RL) and being called a liar has had a big effect on me. I've even considered leaving MN because of this person it's got to me so much, but I've been here 5 years now so I can't see me going for good. I need to develop a thikcer skin but some people recently have been so very vile (not just my thread by all the MM ones). IT's really very upsetting, so I;m not surprised people feel wound up enough to swear and name-call sometimes, out of pure frustration.

[harman]

Message withdrawn

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Oh for heaven's sake milf! I think there should be a concensus about jumping on high horses and running off to start self righteous threads about isolated incidents! Especially when the post (single! solitary!) that you object to was only full of "venom" because the poster was clerl hurting imeasurably by a situation extremely related to what the OP had started the thread to boast about.

[ScottishThistle]

This thread is worse than being back at school tbh & very worrying!

[gingerone]

I agree milf. I stood up for the OP, not because I agreed with her (which i do not) but because I was horrified at the level of personal insults and name calling that was going on by quite a few posters which I felt was bullying.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

I think you need to look up the definition of bullying Ginger.

[Carmenere]

Look FGS MN is well known to be a nest of vipers, if you don't like it, leave. Easy.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Well said Carmenere! If people are really such delicate little flowers then they should go to Babyworld where you aren't even allowed to say "arse" by way of conversation, much less AT anyone! (And I kid you not! )