Ode to Mumsnet

[Ponka]

I don't know why I ended up writing this, I never write poems. It just sort of started coming into my head so I wrote it down. Sad really but I thought I would share.

Ode to Mumsnet

Being a parent is lovely but tough
How did we accumulate so much stuff?
Sticky highchairs and toys out the door
There are piles of laundry and sick on the floor
Oops, the dishes are mounting, how did I forget?
Oh sod it, let?s go and see who?s on Mumsnet.

Don?t know what you look like
Don?t know your real name
But I know whether breast feeding causes you pain
Rejoice when your baby sleeps through the night
and get angry when DH does not treat you right
Excuse me, what?s that? I beg your pardon.
I didn?t ask about the state of your lady garden.
Caring for people you?ve never met,
An everyday happening on Mumsnet.

?Baby won?t stop crying?
?My boy?s banging his head?
?There?s poo on the ceiling?
?DD?s wetting the bed?
?This is completely normal,
please do not fret?
Where would I be without my Mumsnet

Mooncups and buggies
I?ll never get bored
with those slanging matches about Gina Ford
Interesting links saying please click on this
It?s that damned bat again
Someone?s taking the piss.
I haven?t cracked the addiction yet.
Where would I be without my fix of Mumsnet.

[hunkermunker]

Ponka, that's genius!

[schneebly]

PMSL - how very accurate!

[charliecat]

Bloody marvelous

[Beauregard]

Bravo

[CrocodileKate]

Love it.

[Aero]

Excellent - encore!!!

[PanicPants]

Fantastic! You should copyright it.

[Whizzz]

Brilliant

[Gingerbear]

well done Ponka. Did you ever see the Mumsnet Rhapsody?

[Ponka]

Nope. Will search now.

[Gingerbear]

I think it has gone from the archive.

[Ponka]

Poo.

[MrsJohnCusack]

may I say that the inclusion of the bat is genious

[MrsJohnCusack]

no I may not
I may say it's genius though........

[cosmic101]

excellent

[Gingerbear]

Is this real life?
Is this just fantasy..
Caught in a school run
No escape from domesticity
Force open your eyes
Look up to the skies... and Scream

I'm just a housewife
I need no sympathy
so its easy come easy go
No return from this we know
Anyway the wind blows
they always want lifts home
from me....from me...

Mama I need a drink,
Not water only Juice
In my green cup
don't want blue

Mama I've just stubbed my thumb
And now I've gone and lost my highchair tray!

Mama - waaaaaaah
I know I always cry,
You sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a brat
Scaramouch scaramouch will you drink your bl**dy tango
Tikkabilla's frightening
Very, very frightening, see
Wacky Warehouse...waccky warehouse Wacky Warehouse, take me there


Bala-mo-ry
would you like to go?!
(like to go?)
Bala-mo-ry
would you like to know?!
(like to know?)

They're just two poor boys
Who think nobody loves them
Staring all night at some pork sausages
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Oh no it's
Oh no not !
Come on let me go!
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
And Annabel has a blender put aside for meeeee
for meeeeee, for meeeeeeeee

So you think you can spit apple mush in my eye?
So you think you can scoff bits of cake on the sly?
OOoooooooooo baby,
don't ask why again baby,
Your curious mind,
is giving me a kind,
of a migraine

How can I love you and
yet feel that I want to die
ooooh baby -- need some sleep tonight baby
Can't get up at 3am anymore ...

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
You are all that matters
Anyone can see
You are all that matters - You are all that matters to me

Anyway the wind blows..

(Have deleted references to You-Know-Who.)

[foundintranslation]

PMSL Ponka! It's fab.

athis is what a few MNers did around Christmas time

[foundintranslation]

And the Rhapsody is fantastic. Hadn't seen it before.

[Ponka]

He - he! Love them. Who wrote the Rhapsody?

[Whizzz]

I'd forgotten about those XMas ones
I've not done any odes for such a long time!

[Gingerbear]

It was a collective effort.

[charliecat]

bumping for todays crowd this was gooodd