How do you - shortly and sharply - address KS2 or Secondary age children teasing someone with an obvious physical difference?

[BalloonSlayer]

I know how to do it with young children, say it isn't kind and we want to be kind, don't we? sort of thing.

But when they get into KS2 and secondary, if children say something unkind they do it to hurt.

So what do you say to stop them, sharpish?

EG, yesterday I passed a child I knew vaguely, taunting another about being fat. (I say taunting but I just heard the word "Fat!" as they were running about.)

There wasn't the opportunity to say anything, but what would I have said? The other child is overweight and I'd worry I'd make things worse.

If it were my child saying something like that there'd be The Long Talk when we got home. However I am talking about essentially nipping something in the bud with a well-judged reprimand. I can't think of a well-judged reprimand.

(Also must stress that I don't go about telling off other people's kids in the street. Usually. )

My gut reaction would be to sneer at the teaser: "Oh you're soooo perfect are you? Have you actually got a mirror?" Which is far too unkind.

Any teachers out there care to advise?

[GypsyMoth]

remind them of the anti bullying policy and its consequences??

if it happens round here,in the street,i have found a quick 'luckily i know your mum/dad,he/she'd be horrified to hear of this' kind of works

[GypsyMoth]

oh,i'm not a teacher and probably not given well judged answers....i'm just a mum of teens.

[mnistooaddictive]

A colleague would point out one of their flaws such as "would you like it if we all called you big nose?"

[cory]

I think pointing out flaws isn't really that productive: it shows the teacher thinks in the same way as these little sods immature teenagers. The one time it happened to dd in secondary (other girl took to shouting "you're not really disabled, you're faking it" in the corridors every time dd passed in her wheelchair), the head of year took her in for a serious talk. Naturally, I wasn't allowed to be a fly on the wall for this one, so I don't know any details, but I think it was more or less a more adult version of "this isn't very kind".

I think what I would do in the situation you describe is to put on a very serious expression and just say quietly "that is not very nice". The main impact will lie in the look: if you are an adult they like and respect it will carry weight with them to feel that they have disappointed you.

[piscesmoon]

I think that a very quiet, polite word-on their own- is the most effective way. Appeal to their better natures (the majority have one, if you can find it) make it sound as if you know they have just been thoughtless and wouldn't really want to say it.
If you are confrontational you leave them no space to apologise and they will be confrontational back. A lot of it is insecurity about themselves-hidden under a lot of bluster-if you immediately attack you will never get through it-they won't want to lose face. Don't do it in front of anyone else because, again, they won't want to lose face.

[deaddei]

I do think as well around yr 8 there's a lot of peer pressure to say the right thing that children who'd never dream of normally doing unkind things, say them so they look "cool" and won't get picked on themselves.

Agree with PM- a quiet word accompanied by a disappointed face can be effective.

[picc]

I agree, I would generally not say something in front of the pupil that had just been picked on, for fear of making them feel even more mortified.

But I'd make it really clear I was not just ignoring it. Would probably ask the 'offenders' to "come with me for a minute, please", then have a word with them about bullying etc.

Depends on the situation, though. In a group of pupils I know well (when I am pretty sure they thought they were saying something 'funny' or 'lighthearted'), I might quickly ask them to apologise to the other person. You have to judge the situation at the time, I guess.

[eatyourveg]

I'm all for the straight in there with "that is wholly inappropriate and I expect an apology please!" Zero tolerance on bullying of any kind.

I work with 16-19 yr olds in an FE college