Geeks at secondary school

[Citrus81]

Do they fit in?

DS is a total geek (and proud of it) but I worry that he'll get picked on for it! People keep telling me "it's kinda cool to be a geek at secondary school" but are they just trying to make me feel better?

On another note, it's his first induction day today. I left him at the "big school" gates with his little friend and watched them walk through a sea of scary looking teenagers. Please tell me it will turn out ok!? he's never going to be mr popular but I want him to at least enjoy school.

[MathsMadMummy]

it probably depends what kind of school it is TBH! I've always been a geek but luckily I got into a superselective so I was normal there. I would've been worse off at the local dump comprehensive.

but that was a decade or so ago, I think it's changed now - the word 'geek' has got a bit more cred, so to speak. IMHO anyway

I wouldn't worry - just make sure he has the confidence to be true to himself.

[brimfull]

I would agree
Geeks that are confident about who they are tend to be thought of as cool.
I remember dd starting big school and it is scary

[seeker]

Depends what you mean by geek, I suppose.

[Citrus81]

Well he ticks all the boxes. No good at sports, obsessed with computers, good with maths, obsessed with grammar and good English, speaks a little posh (over pronounces things) and wears glasses

I think he'll be ok in the older years but I worry about year 7 and 8 etc

[HoopyFroodDude]

Yes what is your definition of a geek ?

[HoopyFroodDude]

sorry x post

Depends on the school I suppose. My geek is fine in the local comp.

[claricebeansmum]

Sounds like my DS - now coming to end of Y9. A little bit tricky to begin with whilst the pecking order was established and the rugby A team are naturally at the top of the pecking order but the geeks inhabit a parallel universe where they are generally left alone until some particularly tricky maths or chemistry homework is set.

[HoopyFroodDude]

"geeks inhabit a parallel universe " they do don't they.

[claricebeansmum]

Good grief yes. I am not entirely sure DS is mine

[muddleduck]

IME the 'geeks who are happy to be geeks' tend to be fine, but the 'geeks who want to be cool' can have a reaaly awful time.

[ShrinkingViolet]

my geek was much happier in secondary than primary - it's much bigger, there are more like-minded people, and it's easier to ignore those who you don't get on with.

IME it does help to at least try to fit in a bit - having some idea of stuff everyone else is into - DD1 read the Twilight books so that she could join in lunchtime conversations for example, even though her usual bedtime reading is stuff on chaos theory.

[ShrinkingViolet]

x posted wiht Muddleduck - how do you mean "geeks who try to be cool" - as in "down with the posse but not getting it right", or as I said below, having an idea of what the rest of them are into?

[muddleduck]

I meant the geeks who try desparately hard to be part of the 'cool gang' but never quite fit it.

[mummytime]

My geeky son is also much happier at secondary than primary. His school is big enough that he can find like minded friends, hang around the computer lab or library at lunchtimes, and go to Science club.

He even has a teacher who is proud to be a geek (and is kinda cool too).

[ShrinkingViolet]

agree, geeks need to be confident in themselves, then they should be OK. Don't try and be something you're not.

Apparently DD1 is a bit of a legend in her school as "she's really brainy, but she'll still talk to you like a normal person" She did terrify some Y7s though by "talking maths" in the library to a friend. DD2 was asked "does she talk like that at home as well?"

I'd've thought geek was getting more cool with this last Dr Who series (wouldn't recommend a bow tie to school though)

[roisin]

I agree with muddleduck completely:

"IME the 'geeks who are happy to be geeks' tend to be fine, but the 'geeks who want to be cool' can have a reaaly awful time. "

It does depend too a bit on the school. If the school really celebrates achievement and it's cool to be clever, then that helps a lot too. ds1 is uber-geek, and is having a whale of a time at secondary. He's now at the end of yr8. There was a bit of a blip in yr7 with a group of lads, but school sorted it when we chatted with them.

You are right that yr9+ is easier for eccentric/unusual characters, but if they have the confidence and high self-esteem and a positive school atmosphere, they can carry it off in the lower years too.

[scaryteacher]

The mantra is 'The Geek shall inherit the earth' or at least set up a hugely profitable company and support his mum when older (Bill Gates etc).

[mumblechum]

Depends on the school. DS & his mates massively competetive about how many A* they get, but they're at a grammar so ppl much more likely to be looked down on if they're thick.

Your ds sounds lovely btw. Hope he enjoys his new school.

[gramercy]

My geek is just about to finish Year 7 at a comprehensive school. He has loved it! Best of all he found his soulmate in his tutor group and they have spent all year being geeks together!

I think a school worth its salt does try to put like-minded children together.

[sue52]

At DDs grammar school it is cool to be a geek as long as you don't dress like one. To be cool there you have to have straight As, be no larger than a size 6 and really up on fashion. I favour the old fashioned variety of geek, but it seems times have changed.

[gramercy]

I'm glad I'm not a teenage girl these days (just as well).

Dh's nieces are at an all-girls school and are thoroughly obsessed with appearance. The "Princesses" (cool crowd) all have spray tans, are clad head to toe in Jack Wills and are all destined for 12 A* GCSEs. The strain of all that must be massive.

[sue52]

It is a massive strain Gramercy. The competition with each other extends to diet and I'm sure a lot of students at DDs school are anorexic.

[roisin]

sue52 - that is really shocking! I've heard similar things about a few of the top girls' schools. I'd run a mile tbh. Fortunately I have boys.

[sue52]

Sorry didn't mean to moan but had a massive row this morning with DD over breakfast or rather her lack of it. I just wish girls could relax and surrender to their inner geek and not worry about being perfect in every tiny detail.

[sandripples]

I think it helps geeks if they can find a club or activity at their school where other like minded geeks will gather. eg music does it for some , chess for others. Worth encouring geeks to go with their real interest, I have found. I agree it can be hard in years 7 and 8 as they can be finding their feet for quite a while. Its a big step forward when they go with their interests and realise it doesn't matter what their 'cool' class- peers think, in experience of my DD at our comprehensive.

I hope your school offers a good range of extra-curricular stuff as I think that can help a lot.