Moving DD midway through secondary school - anyone else done it?

[BicycleBelle]

Afer 2 years on the waiting list we have finally got DD a place at our original 1st choice school, for Sept this year when DD will be starting year 9.

However, I am worried about how she will adapt to the change, the separation from her friends, and the half hour bus journey (she can currently walk to school).

Am I being a pushy mum wanting her to go to the better school, and will I make her miserable by moving her 2 years into secondary school?

Or should I go for it, knowing that she will get better results this way. She is a bright child, doing fine, but could do so much better at a more academic school.

Anyone been in this situation before, and what did you decide? Have you ever regretted your decision?

TIA

[MissAnneElk]

What does your DD think about it. If she really wants to move then I think moving for the start of year 9 would be OK. Does she know anyone at the other school. If she doesn't want to move - don't do it. How much better is the other school?

[Cammelia]

Given that a lot of independent secondary schools start at Year 9 (and some children join in yr 9 even those that start at year 7 if their prep school goes up to yr8), this in itself wouldn't be a problem - the gsce choices would not yet have been made.

However socially it may be a different matter if she is joining without their being a usual intake at that age - how does she feel about moving schools at the moment?

[ajandjjmum]

DS began his senior school at Yr 9, but he was with a few others who started in the same year. He is now upper sixth, and he still loves his school, although many of his friends who joined in Yr 7 are bored and ready for a change. So there can be an up-side.

There is always the 'odd' child joining each year, and to be honest, the existing kids love to get to know the newcomer, and they're quickly involved in school stuff.

[sunnydelight]

If you are convinced it's a better school, go for it; your daughter WILL adapt and getting used to new surroundings and making new friends can be good skills for the future.

My DS1 has been in four different secondary schools, 2 in the UK and 2 in Australia. Far too long a story to tell but it has done wonders for his social skills. I KNEW his current school was absolutely the right place for him and although it was a difficult move for him ("you're not making me move schools again after dragging me to the other side of the world...."} he is really happy now - just started Y11 - and doing so much better academically than if I left him where he was.

[lateSeptember1964]

I moved my son in the last six weeks of year 9 and it was the best thing I did. Wish I had done it at the start of year 9. If you think she will benefit especially with GCSE's approaching then I think you should do it. The first day was hard and by the second he had made friends and we never looked back.

[BicycleBelle]

Thanks everyone.

She knows a few people in other years, but no one in her own year. We thought she would be joining a good friend who moved in Year 7, but maddeningly they have now decided to move towns, so we've lost that contact. However, there will be about 100 kids joining in Year 9 as they have a second intake from a middle school which goes up to year 8. So, she won't be the only new girl, but the only one coming from her current school, and 90% of the other kids will be coming together from the feeder middle school.

Its difficult to say what DD feels about it, as she is definitely into the teenaged monosyllabic stage. She doesn't hate the idea, and has agreed to go, as we made it clear we would not force her. She is concerned about losing contact with her friends, worried that she may not be able to do the same GCSEs that she has selected (although I think she will) and miffed that she will have to get out of bed earlier in order to catch a bus rather than just strolling 5 mins around the corner.

However, I think that she is also a little bit excited about it, and recognises that she is not being stretched where she is. Her current school does a fab job at bringing everyone up to a good base level, but has little energy left for the brighter kids. Once you've met the required standard, its case dismissed whilst they concentrate on those who need more help.

The new school is still a comp, but it used to be the grammar school and still maintains that sort of ethos, with a big emphasis on doing the very best you can and taking each kids to the highest level they are able to reach, rather than gov-prescribed levels.

We have two other DCs coming up behind, and another factor is that having a sibling in the good school will help them get a place. While DD1 & DD2 are self-motivated and work hard, DS redefines the word lazy. I know that at the local school he will sit back and do nothing, as he will reached the required level very quickly, but then do nothing more, whilst the other school will not let him off the hook.

I think we have now decided that we have to go for it, as to turn down the place seems a backward step. However, I am still very anxious that we may be doing the wrong thing and that we may be pushing our happy, contented girl too far.

Tough, this parenting malarky, isn't it?

[Cammelia]

Wishing you the best of luck. You can ONLY do what you feel is right at any given time

[ajandjjmum]

She will soon make friends within a huge intake. I'd go for it!

[cranbury]

For me the sibling issue is the decider - you need to do whats best for all your kids

[MaureenMLove]

From seeing it from the inside (I work in a secondary school) any of the students that join midway through are completely fine. There was actually a Yr9 girl that started just a few weeks ago and the other girls have made her so welcome and looked after her, it's as if she's been there since Yr7.

[scaryteacher]

I wouldn't worry about it...ds is at an international school where the kids move in and out regularly, and it doesn't seem to have a negative effect.

[BicycleBelle]

Thanks again to all. Can the teachers amongst you tell me whether teachers look out for new kids, e.g. sit them with some friendly types, check whether their are not left on their own at lunchtime etc. Or is that too primary school?

[scaryteacher]

The tutors should organise that and then check that everything is OK.