how do you prepare children for secondary school?? Advice please!!

[africanprincess]

My son is ten this june and would be going to secondary school next year. We live in central london and he is not a "street wise" child. I have started to let him go to the corner shop. Whatever school he will attend, he will have to use public transport...this is my main fear. Advice please on how you guys prepared your children for that huge next step in life

[WotzsanEgg]

its scary - my DD 1 will be going to secondary in Sep and she will only just have turned 11. She'll have to walk. Somedays she trips over her own feet. I know she'll manage and I am lucky she won't have to get public transport as it is walking distance and we are out of town and not in a large city.

I do sympathise and maybe I can suggest some practice on public transport before hand.

[princesscc]

Doing it myself now! I have started using the bus a lot more than I used to, so I know that dd knows what bus to get and where it goes etc. I've managed to resist the mobile phone up til now, but I think it is a nessecity once she is at senior school, so that will help. But on the other hand, you have to tell them, not to flash it about! I think we probably don't give them enough credit, I'm sure he will be fine. Thankfully, my dd is going to a school that she can walk to and a neighbour already goes there, she had said she will walk with her.

[brimfull]

africanprincess-will he have anyone he can go on the bus to school with?
My dd walks to school and luckily walks with her friends.
Senior school is a big change ,mainly to do with organising themselves ie. getting to the right classroom at the right time,wrtiing down and doing the homework.The senior school will help the yr 7's do this and everyone else is in the same boat so it doesn't seem so bad.
So I don't know if that helps ,but regarding the public transport I guess practice is the answer.Will you beable to go with him to ensure he manages in the first few days?

[2shoesonanegghunt]

be careful with mobiles. when ds moved up to secondry he "lost" 2
just buy a cheap basic one untill they are used to the bustle of secondry.

[confusedandignorant]

by christmas or so they will insist on going alone and won't be seen dead near mum or dad

there are at least two hundred kids in the same position at the school all with mums who feel the same way, it gets easier as the time comes near

make sure you do a few practice runs in late august so he knows which bus to get on

[PenelopePitstops]

african princess, havent been through this stage as i dont have children yet but when i moved up to school (was only about 7ish years ago)it was a big chang but the fact other people were going through the change really helped.

As for public transport can you take him a few times to show him (assuming he needs tube/bus) and then let him practise on his own with you following say 10 mins behind if this is possible. Also if there is anyone who lives near you he could arrange to travel with would be a good idea. How far do you go at the moment? perhaps letting him try on his own to primary school towards the end of school will help. Does he also have a trusted group of friends he would be allowed to play out with, or a friends house not far away he would be able to "practise" travelling to.
As others have said practise makes perfect and handling money will also be an invaluable skil unless he will use an oyster card. Also if for any reason his journey does go wrong point out who he can talk to ie the underground uniformed staff, police officers and bus drivers.

As foe helping getting organised and thinking for himself this is a gradual stage and he will soon asert his independance but often without the responsibilty. Its difficult to instill this sense but sometimes pointing out direct actions and consequences works.
A trip to stationary shop to buy all their own stationar was also a really cool thing i did, it made me want it all to be nice andf perfect and timetable everything!

[katelyle]

My dd is starting secondary in September too, and will have to get a train then a bus. I'm going to secretly do the trip myself at school time one morning so that I can see what it's like when hundreds of children are doing it at the same time then we'll practice together a few times, then I'm afraid it'll have to be sink or swim (gulp!) At dd's future school they are allocated a "big sister" for the first few weeks and apparantly they put up big signs telling the new year 7s where to go. I'm sure most schools do something like this. But it's REALLY SCARY!!!!!!!!!

[portonovo]

We only had a 10 minute walk to prepare for, but we still did prepare for it. We walked the two main routes together as a family, looking at good crossing points and other issues.

Then I did it with each child leading the way, me lagging behind and letting the child say when/where we should cross.

We discussed what would happen if there was a change in any circumstances - i.e. when they have after-school clubs they have to either walk home in a big group, walk home the less secluded way if there are only a few of them or ring to be met.

As regards the rest of school life, you'll be amazed at how quickly they adjust. Within weeks they seem taller, older, they think they know it all! They mix very quickly with the other children and before long you can barely imagine any other school life.

What sort of induction does the new school offer? We are lucky because our school offers a whole day class visit in Yr5, then right at the end of Yr6 in July the whole secondary school starts its new timetable and the new Yr7s go up for 5 days.

[confusedandignorant]

The other difficult bit is the homework. Although they are keen to do it, there can sometimes be some resentment of younger siblings playing or watching television while they are in a different room working. It can be a bit lonely for them if they are the only ones in the house doing it.
We used the baby listener for DC1 with the baby's bit in the kitchen so she could hear me "working" also quite useful as she then got used to being able to concentrate while their was some noise going on - quite useful in a mixed ability class in school

[Hallgerda]

Could he go with a friend to the cinema or something similar, to give him a bit of practice in handling money, buying tickets etc?

My DS1 is in Year 7 and has a journey involving two trains - out of necessity, he just did it with next to no preparation, and has been absolutely fine.

[BellaLasagne]

My DS is going to a secondary 15 miles away in the Big City this September and he's not at all streetwise. We live in a very rural part of the west country and unless I drive him the only means to and fro is via a dedicated school bus which I have to drive him to 5 miles away.

This will allay my fears initially as the bus goes straight to school without stopping. I'm hoping he will be weaned off this during the first year and will be able to get 2 service buses home if he wants to do after school clubs.

The other brilliant thing this school does is, because so many children don't know each other when they move up, they run summer schools for the Year 6s during the 1st 2 weeks of the summer holidays so they can get to know each other and learn their way around the school before it fills with 'monstrous' 16 year olds.

Does your school offer any thing similar?

Good luck to you! I can only reiterate what others have told me, that once the first few weeks are over with they grow up mighty quickly.

[katelyle]

But I don't want my dd to grow up quickly.....waaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! I want her to stay at home with me forever!!!!!


(don't worry - I don't say that to her - much! When I do she looks at me with a long suffering expression and says "Muuuum! I've got to grow up, you know! That's what I'm here for!"

[clerkKent]

Africanprincess - DS went through this a couple of years ago (in outer London). Be very careful about mobiles: two of his friends were mugged for their phones. One mugger said "What school do you go to?" "XXX" "Good - I haven't nicked a phone from there before".

However DS never had this sort of trouble. After a few trips with Mum, before school started and for the first couple of days, he has never looked back. We found another boy going to the same school and they travelled together at first.

[africanprincess]

thank you so much for all your advice..he is getting a basic mobile for his 10th b/day, so hopefully the novelty will wear off by the time he gets to secondary! I like the idea of during the summer holidays of using public transport with him..when i hear people talkin about young people's behaviour on public transport, i break up in a cold sweat! (wink)

[christywhisty]

My son will be going on a short train journey to school in September to start senior school. He will have 2 friends to go with which is good.
Hoping to do a few practise journeys over the summer holidays. I was thinking like one of the other posters to do the run myself during normal school times to see exactly what goes on on the train.
My fears are ds losing his train pass, missing train (next train is half an hour later so they will be late if they miss it)

They have 2 week rolling timetables which would have petrified me. DS has dyslexic tendencies and has problems with time, so no idea how he will handle a timetable.