Convincing teens to take a tutor?

[MrsMangle77]

Hi folks,

we're looking for a tutor for our 2nd year daughter. As you can imagine the idea has been met with shock horror insult outrage. It's more to keep in a certain top class rather than remedial.

Any ideas from people who have been in same predicament, I wondered if some reward might sweeten the deal? We're getting stone wall at present.

Thanks for your help folks

M

[webwiz]

Why does she need tutoring to stay in the top group? Have school said they are going to move her down?

[timmytoes]

Not convinced getting a tutor for a teenager is going to work unless they are amenable to the idea - something about taking a horse to water etc .

[mnistooaddictive]

don't bother. As a tutor it is a complete waste of time if the student doesn't want to be there.

[Dominodonkey]

If she needs a tutor to stay in the top group then she should not be there.

[MrsMangle77]

Any ideas on increasing meanability to the idea?

Thanks!

[webwiz]

Its difficult to give ideas when it isn't obvious from your OP why she actually needs a tutor.

[BackforGood]

Teens have to see why they need to do extra work....kind of 'what's in it for me'. If she's not motivated by the thought of wanting to stay in the top set, then she's not going to want to slog away extra work each week with a tutor. You'd have to convince her that your reasons - whatever they might be - are worth it. Difficult to help though as you've not really made it clear to us why you think it makes sense to get a tutor to keep her in a set she is presumably struggling in.

[potatoprinter]

I would save your money. I have hired tutors for specific reasons after asking the kids if the want/need one. For example DD2 is dyslexic and struggles with MFL in which she is doing a GCSE this year.

I agree that if she has to be tutored there is no point in being in the top group. Let her decide.

[fivecupsoftea]

My daughter (year 9) has a tutor. I think a bit of one-to-one tutoring can be really helpful. She also wasn't interested when she was younger, I think that in year 8 they tend not to be so motivated. Maybe you should holdoff till she starts her GCSE's, when it might seem more meaningful to her, and she might start to be motivated? I really don't think that being in the top group means anything, and some can do better in a lower group.

[FrauMoose]

Perhaps an alternative deal. If she works reasonably hard, does homework, gets positive feedback from teacher at school, lets staff know if there is a concept she wants explaining - then she doesn't have to have a tutor...

[secretscwirrels]

If she is working hard and finding the top set a struggle then it's the wrong set for her. She would do far better in a lower set. If she isn't putting the effort in then a tutor will not remedy it.
I had a tutor for DS1 because he was in a top set with a poor teacher (not uncommon I have found -they can do less damage). He was on course for a B and wanted to do better, his tutor was great and he got A. But he* wanted the tutor.

[MrsMangle77]

That's plenty to chew on, thanks folks

[muffinmonster]

Going against the grain a bit here, but I think a tutor could be a good thing. My DD was a bit 'meh' at maths; teaching wasn't great at primary and she didn't ever seem to fulfil her potential, though she wasn't struggling (second from top set).

When she was in Year 9 we suggested a tutor (someone who we knew was excellent) and she was really angry about it - she looked on it as a judgment, as if we were calling her stupid. I put my foot down and said she had to at least give it a try. It was horrible - she didn't speak to me for a week.

After the first session she completely changed her attitude, though she didn't admit to us that we had been right. I think she realised that it would actually be good to have someone go over things with her one-to-one. (It also helped that she discovered two of her friends were going to the same tutor). She's in Year 11 now, maths is one of her favourite subjects and she's doing really well. For such an important subject, I think it's well worth pulling out all the stops.