What would your dc's school/sixth formhave done?

(29 Posts)
knackeredknees Fri 21-Dec-12 18:21:27

(have also posted in teenagers but not much traffic there)

So, DS suffers from depression. He was first diagnosed 2 years ago and with a couple of months of counselling improved a lot. He goes through bad phases, particularly in the depths of winter.

He's currently going through a particularly rough patch. Much of his unhappiness stems from the fact that he hates his school (highly pressured grammar), and tbh I wish I hadn't persuaded him to stay on till 6th form. Anyway, he did and is due to finish A levels next June. He's underperforming at school and predicted BBC (most people go on to Oxbridge/Russell Group unis with all A/A*s.

On Wednesday I just couldn't get him out of bed at all. I said I'd leave him as long as he agreed to my telling the school what's happening. So I emailed his Head of Year and Matron simply to say that he's been suffering depression for 2 years and is just starting CBT (yesterday) but avoiding ADs.

Since then I have had no acknowledgement from anyone at all at the school.

Is this usual, or would you have expected the school to respond? I did say in my email that the depression is diagnosed as moderate and situational (due to his being deeply unhappy at school).

Although I didn't say so in my email, he is really wound up by the way things are done at school. For example, he was late on Monday due to traffic (6 minutes) and was told off by some bloke who isn't a teacher, I think he's a bursar. DS said sorry. Next day, he was in on time and this same guy (who hangs around by the front gate) said somehting sarcastic to him. DS ignored him (it was either that or floor him, he's so wound up and angry), and the guy stood in front of him clicking his fingers in DS's face and saying Excuse Me! DS managed to hold it together and not retailiate. This is the sort of thing that happens every day.

I know he only has 6 months to stick it out for but God, it's hard!

losingtrust Sat 05-Jan-13 13:36:04

I rang my son's school about an issue and his form tutor responded within two hours. Email as some people have said does not get picked up. I would ring up and go down at see them straight away. If they do nothing, complain until something gets done. Don't accept the non-pastoral care issue. Oh and as for the teacher that complained about him being five minutes late he is a young adult not a child although in work may face this issue and I would not revisit that issue unless you feel this teacher is picking on him deliberately. These next few months are very im

losingtrust Sat 05-Jan-13 13:37:50

I rang my son's school about an issue and his form tutor responded within two hours. Email as some people have said does not get picked up. I would ring up and go down at see them straight away. If they do nothing, complain until something gets done. Don't accept the non-pastoral care issue. Oh and as for the teacher that complained about him being five minutes late he is a young adult not a child although in work may face this issue and I would not revisit that issue unless you feel this teacher is picking on him deliberately. These next few months are very important and he needs you. A colleague of mine found out his dd had been self-harming due to exam pressure and the school were really good.

losingtrust Sat 05-Jan-13 13:43:57

The grammar schools in the next area to me do have the same reputation and my cousin who is now in his 20s was found wondering around the city at the age of 13 because he hated the super selective. Went to local school and got first in very academic subject at Bristol uni. If the school do nothing, personally I would seriously look at withdrawing him this year and get him to take his a levels at a more supportive school next year. Do whatever is better for his health and not his career as he needs to learn how to deal with the depression first maybe before going on to another competitive academic uni.

losingtrust Sat 05-Jan-13 13:46:56

What about a sixth form college if the local comp does a different curriculum?

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