bursary application help

[Labro]

Bit of background: dc is on a large bursary at a prep school, now Yr 6, just starting the search for 13+ entry.
I'm a single parent, why all of a sudden am I hitting a brick wall of the schools wanting ex husbands financial details and permission on the application form? He's refusing to provide any details at all as divorce in his eyes was a financial clean break. He provides statutory maintenance and nothing else
Access is by contact order and dc resides with me. Prepschool didn't require these details, so why do the secondary age group? Its causing a problem as they won't process the applications and hes using it as a form of control (doesn't pay any fees or extras), what can I do? Does anyone know of schools in Surrey/Sussex which don't ask for this?

[Eastpoint]

I think he is being completely unreasonable as the schools have a duty to ensure their bursary funds are given to pupils whose parents are on low incomes.

I have helped raise & donate to bursary fund appeals & would be really annoyed if the school gave the funds without sufficient care.

If you are getting £70,000 odd of assistance over 5 years you have to jump through hoops in the same way I have to jump through hoops to earn money to pay school fees.

[Labro]

I totally agree. I work, but at the moment I'm on a lower income which qualifies for assistance. He took everything and will not pay anything other than the minimum required, so we are stuck in the middle.
How can I effectively make someone sign their name?!

[Nonnus]

I think you're being unnecessarily harsh there Eastpoint. If the parents are divorced then the fact that the father is wealthy is of no use to the mother wish f to educate the child privately unless either (1) the father voluntarily agrees to pay fees or (2) there is a court order requiring him to pay fees. The latter costs money to get - money a low-earning mother may not have - and in any case it is quite unusual to get a court order for school fees unless the father is VERY wealthy or the child had already started at private school before the parents split.

So a mother on a low income should not be held hostage to the income of her ex, who in the OP's case sounds as though he is not willing to contribute. In these circumstances the OP is just a single parent on a low income and should be ad entitled to a bursary for her child as anyone else in that situation.

[difficultpickle]

Have you spoken to the bursar of the school you are applying to and explained circumstances? When I registered ds for senior school I didn't put his father's details as he has no contact and pays an absolute minimum through the CSA. Could the school write to him direct?

[EdithWeston]

If the father has PR, then both parents' consent will be sought for schools admissions and that will normally include all aspects including bursaries.

If you can demonstrate that the father is no longer involved in the child's life, then he can be removed from consideration at the school's discretion.

No advice, I'm afraid. Just best wishes as negotiating with both school and father.

[difficultpickle]

Ds has been to two schools and I have never been asked to give his father's details (I left that part of the form blank) nor have I been asked why his father's details have not been included. Same for the senior school application we have made.

[outtolunchagain]

Without giving too much away I work in a school bursary . We would want details routinely , you may be truthful but you would be amazed how many divorced fathers " make no contribution and have made a clean break " but still take the child skiing, buy expensive clothes and gadgets etc . We are making a massive financial commitment so we have to be sure it it really needed and the clean break isn't just to get a bursary .Some lawyers have been known to advise this to get financial assistance , so bursars will be cautious.

Presuming your case is genuine , most bursars would look favourably , we would ask for proof that the father makes no contribution or minimum contribution. I would call and explain situation and ask what confirmation they will need.

[Nonnus]

The bursary applications for the school I am applying for specifically state that if the parents are divorced then only the parent with care's financial info is relevant (including any child maintenance paid obviously). I had expected this would be the case generally, for common sense reasons. It's in Surrey.

[Labro]

Thanks,
I spoke to the bursar and provided all the information, including all orders etc as the actual divorce was over 8 years ago. The sticking point is the PR and that he has access, which is also court ordered.
He truthfully doesn't pay anything other than the 15% maintenance, which was also documented.
Looks like this is going to be a learning curve, thanks again.

[Labro]

nonnus,
Bit cheeky I know, but would you mind pm me the name of the school? Thanks x

[Nonnus]

Labro have PMed you