The thread where we are proud of our average but extremely hard working DCs

(63 Posts)
BrigitBigKnickers Sun 20-May-12 11:15:14

How about celebrating the hardworking average/ less able child? The child who has to work ten times harder than a bright child who just remembers what they have been taught/ has to do very little revision to achieve A*s.

DD1 is in the middle of GCSEs at the moment and has been working like a trojan for the past 18 months to pull her grades up. She got Ds and Es in her mocks in November and is now averaging Cs and Bs in her exam practices.

She has problems with concentration and suffers bad headaches and fatigue (a diagnosed medical problem causes this) and has to work so much harder than her younger sister for information to be retained. It's not that her teachers are bad (she is at a fab school who are amazingly encouraging and supportive) it's she doesn't take it in easily.

We have been really supporting her through her revision to the extent that we have learnt and retaught her some of the material, and this really seems to be paying dividends.

She came downstairs on Friday night and presented DH and I with card and a beautiful engraved frame she had ordered from the internet saying how much she appreciated our support.

So proud <sniff>

boschy Mon 21-May-12 10:56:06

your poor dd mrs I hope she's feeling a bit more relaxed now? Mine came home really stressy after her english mock last week, floods of tears, but I think it is sorted now and her teacher has been really brilliant with her.

I really feel for our 'average' kids - the media is full of all the ones that get 15 A* but at the same time says exams are easier than ever - it can only make the ones who struggle feel even worse in my view. and fwiw, looking through the GCSE maths revision, there is no way on god's earth I would get even a D I think!

My DD1 did her GCSEs two years ago at a very academic school. They were good results for her and really reflected the hard work she put into her revision. However, compared to some of her peers they were pretty average (and some of them let her know it angry ).

She stayed on for A levels and the work ethic she developed for GCSEs seems to be paying off. She is able to concentrate on 3 subjects that she LOVES and is on track to be off to Uni in the Autumn. Her UCAS reference from school brought tears to my eyes - it was a real ego boost to read that other people saw the same qualities in my beautiful girl. It must have been good as she had 5 offers to choose from. grin

boschy Mon 21-May-12 11:26:35

good for her woollybacks! that's brilliant.

does anyone else get quite frightened by the emphasis that everyone seems to put on academic achievement? I sometimes wonder what my 15 yo DD1 will be able to do with her life, but then I have to pull myself together and remember her emotional intelligence and social skills and tell myself she will be OK.

and yes to whoever mentioned the brainier younger sibling - DD2 is much more of a natural than DD1; interestingly though, she works away quietly behind the scenes, never makes a big thing about working (although is on target for her grades and gets mostly 1 for effort) - I used to think she was bone idle, but it appears that she IS working. I think it may be that she sees how hard DD1 has to work and doesnt want to rub her nose in it. which is a considerable leap in her emotional intelligence from just a couple of years ago actually.

also really lovely to hear from teachers on this thread that they 'like' the average ones just as much if not more than the academic superstars - thank you.

BrigitBigKnickers Mon 21-May-12 23:15:57

Boschy that is exactly what DD2 is like too- when she was younger she would quite often answer questions her older sister couldn't fathom- now she doesn't tend to jump in so quickly and keeps her successes to herself- she might tell me about the 7a she got in English (year 8) but she would never say it in front of her sister (who she adores- I have a very strange pair of teenage sisters who actually like each other!)

So true what posters are saying about emotional intelligence- DD1 has this in bucket loads.

And from the teachers who say how much they love the hardworking averagers- As a special needs teacher myself I know exactly where you are coming from. One of my lovely little pupils (scraping level 2cs in most thing aged 11) achieved a 4c on her science SATs last week. She works her little socks off- so proud of her. grin

boschy Tue 22-May-12 09:40:08

brigit mine actually like each other too - doesnt stop them fighting like cats at times though!

DD1 sat an english mock the week before last (the one she came home in floods from) and was 2 marks off a C. she did another paper at home (timed) and was 1 mark off a B! so proud of her for that.

I heard on the news this morning that the govt are to look at maths teaching again as apparently it is not being taught right and therefore we are not going to get a future generation of engineers. oh, and maths GCSE is too easy. Hollow laughter from me at this point... I wish they would stop saying stuff like this.

Fascinating that the thread is dominated by DDs, I don't have any of them, so can't comment. I have a wonderful, hardworking DS3 who is exactly as described in the OP. Throughout secondary school he was criticised for what he didn't do (despite having a statement - I think he tried so hard they thought it must be a fake!). He couldn't wait to leave & is now loving college, where he scraped onto a level 3 vocational qualification. Ironically, most of his friends, who are still at school & doing AS levels, want to leave & go to college in September.

BrigitBigKnickers Thu 24-May-12 08:28:18

Wel done to your DSCheapskatemum

We moved our DD from her first secondary school as they were totally useless with regard to her condition- it was like they didn't quite believe it even though we had the paediatricians report.

They always said the staff all kneww about it but then her school reports were full of the fact she didn't concentrate- well duh? that's one of the symptoms you morons!

Her new school have fallen over backwards to accomodate and support her with this- including organising 1-1 tuition, getting her extra time and rest breaks for her exams.

racingheart Sat 26-May-12 19:32:33

What a lovely thread. I read somewhere that average children who work hard do far bette rin life over all (better jobs, more income etc) than those for whom it comes naturally.

boschy Mon 11-Jun-12 14:39:30

DD had english lang the week before half-term - said it was 'quite easy'. maths today (1st of 3) and she is totally not confident. plus she forgot her calculator, so I had to do a mercy dash up to school this am...

school is being fab tho, and this year's ones are treated very much as 'serious practice', no pressure just the opportunity to have a go and dont worry just do your best.

good luck to all the other average hard-workers who are doing GCSEs in Y10 or Y11 this summer!

ohmygosh123 Mon 11-Jun-12 19:12:38

Kids who have to work for things do way better in the long term as they learn a work ethic. Bright kids who just 'get it', often give up as soon as they encounter something that they can't do straight away as they think of their success in terms of being bright, and not in terms of hard work / persistence.

Yay for the tortoises who may well go on to do better than the hares!

guineapiglet Wed 13-Jun-12 09:22:49

So glad to have found this thread, get rather intimated by all those parents eagerly awaiting A*s - I shall just be glad if my daughter SURVIVES the next few exams and manages to get the grades she has worked so hard for. She was diagnosed with Post Viral Fatigue at the end of year 9 and was very poorly for about 3 months. We discussed the possibility of a reduced timetable, but to her absolute credit she has kept going despite several 'blips' and teh onset of extreme panic attacks which have been expertly managed through CAMHS. All this has been very draining for the whole family as each day is a battle for her in different ways. The end is in sight now, and for some to get A*S it means others have to get lower grades, and they have worked just as hard, even harder. Personally I feel that Mr GOve's new GCSES, a return to exams only should have a component related to effort, attitude, consistency and determination - these qualities way outweigh the ability to remember information... and are probably qualities employers would value more. Good luck to all our children :O

WymM Wed 13-Jun-12 09:48:00

My son goes to Wymondham High. He is a hard worker but has had his confidence crushed because he has been passed over in favour of the G and T kids several times. The teachers say he is a lovely lad to be around and never gets into any trouble, but this does not stop him feeling like a failure.

nummus Wed 13-Jun-12 09:53:46

I have one! Has some processing problems and OCD and is at a private school. Is working so very hard and all teachers comment on her fab work ethic. She is improving all the time and we are both starting to raise our expectations of what she might be capable of in the future smile

BrigitBigKnickers Wed 13-Jun-12 18:50:20

We are on the home straight- History on Friday then one more Maths paper and the hell is over.

It's her 16th birthday tomorrow but she is still going in for a 2 hour last minute revision session for History. She did have some Olly murs tickets for her and her friends for Saturday but then he went and changed the date so now she has to have her 16th Birthday celebration in September instead. angry

We will have a takeaway tomorrow night and some small pressies but History is first thing Friday so no late bedtimes. We are waiting to celebrate her birthday next Tuesday evening when she has finished for good.

That's when we will give her a joint birthday and well done for working so hard present (i-pad 2!) grin I can't wait!

wigglybeezer Thu 14-Jun-12 18:43:15

I would be proud of mine if hr was average and hard -working, unfortunately he is average and lazy.

boschy Fri 15-Jun-12 14:09:32

just wondering re those of us on this thread... are we all in state ed? I've been reading some of the private ed threads recently and been quite terrified really.
I dont think my "average but hardworking" DD1 would have been any better off in a private school - and in fact, if I'd been paying I'm pretty sure I'd have been much more anxious!

BrigitBigKnickers Fri 15-Jun-12 14:54:30

I think it depends on the state school.

My DD is at an independent school- I absolutely know she wouldn't have had the same level of support from our local state school- huge faceless comp- loads of her friends go there and the only ones who seem to like it are the uber clever kids- the average just seem to be allowed to drift and the behaviour is awful.

Considering the catchment of the state school, the results are really rather lame.

Not saying that is state schools on the whole- just the situation here.

boschy Fri 15-Jun-12 15:04:54

that's interesting brigit. mine are at an officially 'good' (under latest more stringent ofsted regs) school which is effectively a sec mod - as we are in a grammar school area. I love the school, am in fact a parent governor.

we couldnt afford private, and the nearest one is an hour away anyway, so it was out of the question on all counts. DH and I were both privately educated though, so it is something I do think about quite a lot.

boschy Thu 21-Jun-12 11:57:22

oh dear, according to the 'scrapping GCSEs' thread a child must be really thick not to be able to get a C in maths.

well, that's me and mine done for then. I really HATE that kind of thinking.

guineapiglet Wed 27-Jun-12 11:48:09

My daughter has just returned from final exam - she has survived! What a grinding two years it has been, I feel very tearful - the last two months have lasted an age, and we really weren't sure if she would make it in for all of them ( after a PVF illness), but she has, she has done herself proud, dealing with a complex illness, and all the stresses and strains of modular GCSEs - well done to everyone who has kept going and tried their best. We realise her results might not be all round A*s (!!) but they will be testament to someone who has persevered in the face of adversity....it is not really about results, it is about strength of character, learning to dig deep within yourself - these are qualities Mr Gove would do well to consider in his dilusional brave new world.
Well done one and all grin

boschy Wed 27-Jun-12 13:18:46

hurrah guineapiglet thank god it's over! I hope she can have a lovely summer relaxing before she starts on something she wants to do in September. Does she have a plan?

boschy Sat 21-Jul-12 08:01:00

oh dear. got DD1's grades yesterday, and she is currently on an F for humanities (predicted a C) and an E for maths (predicted a D). Really concerned about the humanities because she's always been bumping along on a D/C, so the F is a bit of a shock. Maths I am not so surprised about, I know it's a struggle.

I just sometimes get very down because I know how hard she works, that education is a struggle for her (dyslexic); it's so unfair!

BrigitBigKnickers Thu 23-Aug-12 21:14:27

Ok- can't quite believe I am posting this but my wonderful DD got.. <Drum roll> eight (yes 8) A grades <faints> a B and a C! I am dumb struck- it just goes to show what hard workcan achieve!! Also shows how crap the level 4 predictions are ( she got mainly high level 4s in her KS 2 Sats) double A in English, double A in iGCSE science and A in maths. soooooooooo proud!!!!!!

Harleyband Thu 23-Aug-12 21:25:39

Fabulous news you must be very very proud!

Ladyemem Thu 23-Aug-12 21:36:16

my daughter also worked hard to get her grades and got 4 b's 5 c's and 1 d. So proud.
My ds3 is more sporty that acedemic but as long as he puts the work in and does his best i would be proud

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now