Cyber-Bullying?

[alisara]

I have posted this on Internet and its quiet so wondering if anyone here can help?

I have just this morning contacted the police over cyber-bullying of my 12 year old by another girl in her class - I have also let the school know and the are dealing with the said child.

I won't go into to much detail on what the girl did except that last Thursday she sent/posted a picture of my daughter on facebook which was vulgar with racist undertones (her principal let me know) and with said picture started a group on same.

The girl was asked why and could not answer. I am so hurt by what she has done - so I called the police this morning and they are going to call the girls mum (who is a single parent like me)

I now feel terrible about this as my daughter told me several confidential things about the girl which the school may or may not be aware of and is none of my business.

I feel so sorry for the girls mother (the police said they would be giving the child a warning) but I feel sorry for her poor mum, and on the other hand what the child put my daughter through was unthinkable

I am so stressed and wonder if I have done the right thing - can anyone out there help/advise?

[CrystalChandelier]

Sounds like you did the right thing to me. Whatever else in her life the bully has going on, you wouldn't be doing her or her mum any favours by letting her off.

[scaryteacher]

My best advice as a former form tutor is to lose Facebook fast, then if there is cyber bullying your daughter will not be aware of it as she is not on Facebook. This is precisely why I will have no truck with Facebook at all.

Let the school and police deal with it, and stay well out of it now it is in their hands. The form tutor should be dealing with any bullying that goes on and should keep a very close eye from now on.

[nlondondad]

The only problem with "losing" facebook, is that if all her friends are on it it will cut her off.

[scaryteacher]

No, it won't. There is the telephone and email. Friends are real people - perhaps she could go and see them.

My ds doesn't have Facebook, he is 15, and he and his mates see each other, go around to each other's houses etc.

I don't have Facebook, live abroad, and manage to keep up with my friends and family by email and phone. We all coped before Facebook came along so why shouldn't we now?

[AMumInScotland]

I certainly think you've done the right thing by reporting it and getting it dealt with. Even if the other girl has problems at home, she needs someone to apply boundaries so she doesn't go round hurting people. And intervention may help her situation too, if it means people are aware that the family needs support.

[alisara]

Thank you all for your replies. I find this shocking and yes I let her on FB, but I WILL be much more vigilant in future.

I was so worried as to whether I have done the right thing by contacting the police, but glad I have done so now, the hurt the child has caused my daughter and myself has been awful and the said child needs to be taught the difference in right and wrong and the damage that she can do to other people

Thanks all again, I actually felt last night I had gone to far, but each time I think of what she has done I get so angry, how dare she

[crazycarol]

I agree you did the right thing, this is so awful your poor dd. A similar (but not really as bad) thing happened to my dd recently. She came out of school one day and mentioned something about another girl really annoying her and taking pictures of her during PE "to post on facebook". I have to admit to only half listening to her at the time and as the subject quickly changed didn't go into it in more detail.

later that evening I was thinking about it again and went on facebook and had a look. Yes this girl had indeed posted some photos and a video. I was horrified and tried to contact facebook to get them removed. They wouldn't let me report them it had to be dd herself as she is 14. She did just that but it takes them ages to do so. Meanwhile I checked the school policy on mobile phones and found that they were not allowed them on during school time and using the camera was forbidden. So I took some "screen dumps" of the pictures in case facebook got their act together and sent them to dd's head teacher. I told dd that I had done this and she was ok with it. I just wanted to prepare her for what might happen in school.

This girl was sent to the head's office and she was given detention. My personal view is that this punishment was not enough (maybe a suspension?) but at least the school dealt with it which sent the message out that this was not acceptable.