Anyone ever had dc's moved to another teaching group?

[trinni]

How important do you believe it is for your dc's to be in class with their best friend?

My dd (yr7) has been put into a teaching group which does not include her best friend. She has done well so far although, is sometimes unhappy.

She has asked me daily whether I can have her transferred to be with her friend. I have resisted up 'till now as I'm concerned about the probability of her chattering more in class and not doing so well in her work.

However, I have finally e mailed her form tutor to moot the question. He is looking into it and will talk to me tomorrow (friday).

My question is...Am I being too soft? I truly believe she will do better if she stays where she is and has less opportunity for being distracted but I do want her to be happy too.

[trinni]

Bump??

[zabby]

if she is only in year 7 I would say that being in a tutor group with kids she doesn't know could actually do her the world of good!
Her and he best mate can still be friends, but your dd has the opportunity to expand her horizons and make new friends rather than just sticking with those she knows.

My eldest was moved groups and it did him the power of good - he was moved because the group he was in was "lively" and all the kids bounced off of each other (wasnt just him that moved), ds was mortified to begin with as he knew no-one at first and wasn't interested in forging any new relationships. Fast forward a year and he now has a huge array of friends, people he probably would never have associated with.

One thing I emphasised to my ds was that he is at school first and foremost to learn, socialisation comes second.

[webwiz]

At my DCs school they don't have a choice of where they sit in the lower years (usually boy/girl in alphabetical order) so it doesn't actually make any difference whether they are with friends in class or not.

I am mean so would be inclined to say friends are for break time and she will get to know more people if she isn't in the same classes as her friend.

[trinni]

Her problem seems to be that, actually, she does have several of her yr 6 primary class with her but only three of them girls and dd makes 4.

Two of these girls are very close and dd feels she is left with the one remaining girl (who isn't the kindest of girls).

I am sure there are other girls she can make friends with but as far as dd is concerned she just wants to be with her own special friend.

Unfortunately, aforementioned bf and dd did have a few spats at primary school and her teacher and I decided it might be better if they weren't together quite so much at the time. I've been willing to beleieve dd when she says things are better now, that they get along fine.

I must say, I think the boy/girl seating arrangement is a very good one and I might suggest our school adopt that idea!

Oh I don't know, I just feel so torn between what I instinctively feel is best and dd's happiness. I will talk to her tutor as arranged tomorrow and see what he suggests.

[trinni]

beleieve...what's that?

[roisin]

I don't think school teaching groups should be decided by friendship groupings.

ds2 went to secondary knowing only 1 other boy there (who wasn't in any way a close friend) and 5 girls. ds2 is in a teaching group with this 1 boy, but has soon got to know lots of other students through lessons and clubs and activities.

Outside of 5 hrs a day teaching time, there is plenty of time for her to spend with her best friend.

[katiestar]

No your DD needs to enlarge her circleof friends.She's only been there a term, its still very early days.

[cory]

Agree with Roisin. She needs to learn to make more friends, but she also needs to practise co-operating with people who are not her friends. Also, tutor group is only a very small part of school reality, as they go off into different sets anyway.

[ilovesooty]

Life isn't about being with your own special friends all the time as you grow up and your daughter needs to realise that. I think it will benefit her to expand her horizons as others have said.

[cardibach]

she does have several of her yr 6 primary class with her but only three of them girls and dd makes 4

When my daughter moved from a small rural primary to secondary, she was the only girl from her Primary in the SCHOOL. SHe has managed fine - only the usual teenage falling out issues. Don't worry about it!

[bellavita]

I would not ask them to move her. She needs to widen her friendships. Surely she will see her friend at break and lunch?