DD (12) forging school notes, help!

[Sarahlou8]

Hi there, can anyone give me any advice?

DD is 12 and in year 8 secondary school.

I've just been into her room to hoover, and found, under the bed, a note in very neat writing to say " x hasn't done her homework because 'we' have a lot on our minds" (amongst the usual polite comments) and signed with my DH's name.

I'm sure the note I have found is a practice note and she may have taken one to school as the signature is practiced several times on it.

I'm due to pick her up at 2pm today for a dentist appointment, what do I say?

I don't want to get cross as I don't think it will help. She is usually mature, sensible, hard working and never been any bother.

Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks!

[Acanthus]

Aw, she messed up and didn't do it, presumably. Let her know you found the note and talk to her about organisation and about the consequences of deceit. Don't be too hard on her, she's only young. And she still cares enough to take in a note!

[Tinuviel]

I regularly forged notes to get out of PE and my brother did it for me when I missed the bus to school so had to have a day off (rural area - we were all bussed in but no regular bus service at all). I have not grown up into a deceitful person and I have been successful in my life (ie am very happy with what I have done and what I have achieved).

You may find it helpful to give her the chance to talk about it and discuss strategies for organisation skills.

[LetsEscape]

I think we have all done this at sometime, but I think I was older and it was always for swimming. Just check if she has a reason why she felt she could not admit it to the teacher...does she find the work hard? What are the consequences if she fails to give homework in? Is she struggling to get herself organised and needs help? I'd be intrigued to know if she got away with it at school!

[Sarahlou8]

Hi, thanks for your replies. We talked about it when she got home, she said she managed to get the homework done at school and the note was never given in. Apparently it was a craft piece that she couldn't find glue and red card for at home.

She said she is a bit frightened of one particular teacher after a child was shouted at for not completing homework, so when she left it too late to get it done, she was nervous about owning up.

we've agreed if she needs anything in the future, to ask in plenty of time and she'll get all the help she needs.

All's well now. Thanks everyone.