DS won't name bullies

[gardeningmama]

Must just start with the fact that in the bigger scheme of "bullying", this is a small matter and I know not to use the term lightly. My 13 yr DS has a good, wide group of friends at school but knows he can be an easy target for those who choose to pick. He recently came home with his school bag filthy and said a group of boys had kicked it around and as a result his lunch box smashed and his books got yoghurt all over them. Yuck. He didn't see it happen. His 'friends' said a group of yr 11's did it. My DS told me he wasn't convinced this was the case. I informed his tutor who could only talk to her group in broad terms about respecting other's property as DS wouldn't name names or suspicions. Last night he told me that this happens to him every break and lunchtime. It is a group of other yr 9's, not his close friends and NOT in his tutor group so her pep talk wouldn't have reached them anyhow, but he won't name them, to me or school.

This activity may just stop. DS knows not to react to the boys and to try and not show it bothers him, in the hope they will get bored and move on. But what if it escalates? How can anything be done if DS won't name them?

Ds will talk to me openly about this and I feel confident that he will confide in me if things get worse. I want to nip it in the bud. Any ideas?

[scaryteacher]

Talk to HoY not tutor, confirm in email or letter what you have said here, and ask what action the school will be taking under their anti bullying policy. The school will have a good idea of who it is anyway (or should have) and can act accordingly.

Ask for feedback as well.

[mumwifeauthor]

It's so difficult. I would strongly suggest getting the school involved at this stage because if it should get physical you can then expect the school to act immediately and with purpose. I have a strong belief that if I leave my child in the care of the shool then they are very much responsible for his wellbeing whilst he is there, anything less would be doing a disservice to my son. At the same time, loving your son to bits and showing him that he's worth so much more can't hurt!Good luck!