Yr8 son wants to move school

[heathface]

Hi, I'm in a pickle about my son. He is in a good secondary boys school, making excellent progress (set 1 for all subjects)and his dad and I think its a good school. BUT he hates it. He says on a daily basis that he hates that there are so many "idiots" in the school and that he wants to move to a mixed school. He never really enjoyed primary school either after we moved in Yr3.
Part of me thinks that he is just trying to test us as parents, and that if we do move him he will say exactly the same in another school. But part of me thinks if he never settles in and we dont move him then it will effect him for the rest of his life.
Any advice comments would be greatly appreciated.

[posey]

Sounds very like my dd during Y7 and 8. She regularly moaned about it, nothing was good enough....but really there was nothing that was so seriously bad, no bullying, the work she was getting was fine, she was getting decent grades, she had nice friends etc etc.
There realy was no other school we could've considered sending her to so she stayed put and we put up with the moaning.
Year 9 now and a huge change. She's a bright girl who I think drifted and was rather bored for a good part of 2 years, had a lot of mixed ability and mixed behaviour in classes. Now she's getting stuck into work, has found a definite niche in school (slightly off-the-wall group!) feels very comfortable and confident in her skin now and their position in school.
She can still moan (teenagers are like that, they want you to worry about them!) It was really hard seeing her unhappy but for us there wasn't a huge amount we could do as it was more "her" problem than something we or the school could change.She was dealing with so many changes and all the hormones etc really upset the status quo.
We did however find a couple of small but irritating things (for her) which we took seriously and helped her deal with (including approaching her tutor for a bit of help). It made her realie we were bothered about her, did take her happiness seriously but that she couldn't move just because it wasn't all she dreamt it would be (sadly).
I'm not sure i've explained it very well to you. I'm not sure if our dc's are experiencing the same issues but anyay wanted to post in case it helps

[admission]

I suppose the question to ask is he going to thrive in a mixed school. The girls may well contribute to a different attitude to work, which he may latch onto but i suspect that there may still be plenty of "idiots" at any school he goes to. A lot depends on whether the "alpha" males in the year group are simply interested in messing about or whether they are prepared to work. If it was the latter then a move may well be a good thing.
The other question I would be asking is whether the move is actually hormone related and it is the "mixed" bit of the other school that he is really interested in. If this was the case then it may be a good thing or it could be a disaster.

[heathface]

Thanks for posting, I think your right Posey, its hard knowing whats for the best with ds, especially as he is our eldest "first teenager" and we do try and reassure him and teach him that life wont always be perfect.
We also realise that letting him move because he isnt happy isnt necessarily a good life lesson for him. He does socialise with girls out of school, so I dont think its the "mixed" side of another school which he is interested in.
We are going to speak to his mentor anyway, then at least he will know we are listening.

[WimpleOfTheBallet]

re the idiots..are they teasing/bullying him? Has he played it down maybe?