Only boy from primary school.

[jimpy1]

My son is due to start secondary school in september and has been placed in a tutor group as the only boy from his primary school. He is not happy. I have raised my concerns with the secondary school but they don't seem to be listening..the year head has not even responded to my e-mail. I feel my son is quite vunerable after the recent death of a young relative and my recent illness, I need the school to act on my concerns. Any suggestions on what else I can do?

[thisisyesterday]

don't e-mail them, ring them, find out who is in charge of things like what tutor group they are in and make sure you talk to that person

[compo]

I'm sorry you've been ill and bereaved

I wouldn't worry, they are only in their tutor groups for registration, so ten minutes in the morning and the same in the afternoon I think

[jimpy1]

have already done that..deputy head who will not budge until meetings have been held..grr!I really want this sorted before they go on their summer break.

[jimpy1]

We have a secondary school where they stay in their tutor group for the majority of lessons in year 7. His close friends are in a 'different population' so he would not be with them for any lessons. I wouldn't mind if he was with just one boy from his primary but to go it alone is a bit rough on him.

[Eglu]

Tutor groups are such a small amount of time as compo says. And your son will make new friends as soon as he starts school, whether or not he knows anyone in his tutor group.

[scurryfunge]

We had this worry about my DS as we moved counties between primary and secondary and he didn't know a soul. Be reassured that he will very quickly make new friends without forgetting about his old ones.

Look at this as an opportunity to meet more people.

[jimpy1]

It hasn't helped that his primary school asked the children to put three friends names who they would like to be with at secondary and then assured them that they would be with at least one of those children.

[scurryfunge]

The primary school shouldn't have made promises a secondary couldn't keep.

[mumblechum]

DS was the only one from his whole school who got to go to the Grammar, so was very much alone at first.

To be honest, it was a problem for the first 1.5 terms as everyone else already had friends from the primary close to the grammar, and two private schools, so they were all quite cliquey. The school were not at all helpful in trying to help him, but eventually he made a couple of friends in the February and since then made lots more.

He now has a very full social life and about 3 close friends, lots of more casual friends.

Be prepared for it being quite tough at first.

[compo]

I was the new girl at three secondary schools
it honestly isn't a problem making friends at that age

[pigsinmud]

Go in and speak to someone. Ds1's school operate that system. He ended up with 2 out of the 4 names he wrote down. If they promised at least one friend then that should happen.

Ds1 is in his tutor group for everything apart from maths so it is a huge amount of time.

[primarymum]

Mine was similar to mumblechum, son was only one from his school to go to the local grammar so he knew no-one in the school. However they put him in a form group with others in a similar position in an effort to foster friendships( Mind you, as he has Aspergers and doesn't really "do" friends, he wasn't actually bothered at all

[whiteflame]

hi jimpy1, this happened to me when i moved to secondary school, and all the others from my primary school were in another class together! my school also kept the form class together for all lessons throughout yr 7.

in case you can't get your DS moved, i just wanted to assure you that although i was nervous (to put it mildly!) about the situation all summer, it really was not a problem once school started, as there were many people in the same boat.

[jimpy1]

Thanks for all your messages! My oldest son is also in the secondary school and they do keep them all together in the form group apart from maths. I'm going in to speak with his primary school teacher today, I don't hold out much hope tho! We are quite lucky to have two very good secondary schools in our city so if I'm not happy I will go up the road where I know they they put a great emphasis on placing children with at least one friend. Will update later!

[clam]

Primary schools (in my experience) ask children to choose a few friends to be with because the secondary schools ask them to! So it's not a question of making a promise that is not theirs to keep.
It sounds like appalling practice to put just one on his own. Unless there were more, but they've been switched for some reason. In which case it shouldn't be too difficult to make further changes now.
My kids' school also teaches Year 7 in form groups, apart from maths. Both mine had kids from their primary school in with them, but within a couple of days (possibly less in DD's case) they'd branched out into a whole new group. But they were coming from a position of strength though.
Stick at it. It must surely be in the school's interest also that your son settles.

Must admit, however, that I'm and that you have the option of just nipping up the road and enrolling him at another good school just like that!

[jellybeans]

Hi I am in the same boat with DD. All her friends are together in other forms. She is gutted. I think it will make things initially harder but there are lots in the same boat and hopefully they will make new friends. I have tried getting school to change her but they won't budge and were quite rude about it.