he always said it would never happen again

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

but it did.
i said it would be the end if he ever did it again.
last night because of someone taking two lots of money from our account instead of one, and because i had called them to make sure they didnt, it was my my fault as i sit on my fat arse all day and play games.
when i told he how dare he speak to me like that and he was a nasty b***d, he waved his fist n my face and said that he was this close from hitting me, i ignored it and carried on looking for the number to sort the money out and he pushed me over the settee.
i walked out of the room and that was it.he hasnt apologised nor shown any remorse this morning
i have a big bruise on my arm where he pushed me
im sat here now, not having any close enough friends to talk to and my little one keeps asking why im so sad

[Nemo1977]

o hun hugs to u
nobody has the right to treat u like that.

[ggglimpopo]

Message withdrawn

[hermykne]

yourheart is breaking, as kama says get what u need together and leave, u are a mum to your little one, neither of you need that treatment in your lives and it wont change. move away from him and see what happens, his reaction will be an insight into how he'll behave in the future, and i think evident if he'll change or not

you're not alone, and there are helplines for you to call for support too, the samaritans for one, just to chat orally instead of internet chat

[MrsGordonRamsay]

Go, please just go, if only to put some space between you for the time being.

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

its just so out of charicter, he has a nasty toungue, but other than previously when we were both drunk..i always said i would never go through this like my man, dont get me wrong its not regular, not was it extreme, but i just am so shocked and hurt and i dont know what to do
to top it all we move a week on friday
i really dont have anyone to go to
im so confused and upset

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

im so scared about doing anything, i have no confidense, i dont work im so scared, not of him but of me doing something, i just feel so weak

[Kittypickle]

The horrible truth is that it will happen again if you don't go now and will be worse, these things tend to escalate. I'm assuming that you have children - for both yours and the children's safety you must get out now. You have done nothing wrong and he will always twist things to make you feel that you are somehow at fault.

As ggglimpopo said, have you family you can go to, if not what about friends ? It's really important that you tell people what has happened so that they can help and support you. Kama has summed it up really well. Everyone who has suffered at the hands of a violent mind always says that it is out of character and that 95% of the time he is fine, unfortunetly what he does with the other 5% of the time is the crucial bit in this situation. Please ring someone now.

[MrsGordonRamsay]

I have to go to work, please stay here for a while and listen to the advice.

I think I know who you are, but unfortunately I have to go.

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

to be honest, this isnt what i wanted to hear, i wanted people to say, talk to him, sort it out, tell him to get help with his temper..im afraid of doinf anything

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

i need him to love me, we havent slept together for so long, ut i think thats mainly down to me because of the tablets im on, he says he loves me when i tell him i love him, he kisses me on a morning like he would kiss a stranger, we dont cuddle, or laugh or even sit together on the sofa

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

i need him to love me, we havent slept together for so long, ut i think thats mainly down to me because of the tablets im on, he says he loves me when i tell him i love him, he kisses me on a morning like he would kiss a stranger, we dont cuddle, or laugh or even sit together on the sofa

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

i need him to love me, we havent slept together for so long, ut i think thats mainly down to me because of the tablets im on, he says he loves me when i tell him i love him, he kisses me on a morning like he would kiss a stranger, we dont cuddle, or laugh or even sit together on the sofa

[edam]

and what if you tell him to get help with his temper and he lashes out again? He's already attacked you physically at least twice, from your post. How many more times will it happen before you leave?

He hasn't shown any remorse - so he thinks he had the right to do what he did. Myheartsbreaking, this is a dreadful, painful situation for you to be in. It's very, very hard to leave. But it's the only answer that will protect you and your children. Please, don't tell him you are going, because he may react with further violence, just do it.

If there are no friends and family you can go to, look up Women's Aid here or
0808 2000 247. There will be a local women's refuge for you where you will be safe. They can help you get permanent accommodation.

You aren't the only person this has happened to. It is not, in any way, your fault. There are women on here who have left violent men - I hope one of them sees this thread and posts to help you with their direct experience.

[edam]

Please make that call.

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

i know i will be slated but like so many befr eme on here, i cant do it, im not strong enough, you wont believe me, like i probably wouldnt if it were someone else, but he wouldnt actually hit me and he would never touch our little one..he's just nasty and twice in 10 years he has pushed me, i know thats twice too much but i think im trying to cling onto to a fine hope that it can be sorted

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

plus we are due to move enxt week

[MyHeartIsbreaking]

icant i really cant i dont have the strengh

[edam]

Pushing is the same as hitting - it is violence. It is using his strength to control you. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is the only answer that will protect you and your children.
You don't have to be strong to leave, you just have to do it. Violent, bullying men often encourage their wives/girlfriends to think they are too weak to leave. And often isolate them from friends and family so the women believe they can't leave.
Please don't worry about strength, just make that call while he's out of the house, pack your bags and go. You *can do this, honestly. I know it must seem the most difficult thing in the world, and really frightening, but if you don't, things will escalate.

My step-mother's father started like this - pushing her mother around. It got worse and worse. He ended up killing his wife. Please, go now, before you go any further down this slippery slope.