This is more of a vent than anything else, but I am just so damn frustrated at having the terms of my DH's relationship with me and DD dictated by the sodding army. He's a doctor with the medical corps. The army have posted him to Wales (we live in Durham) so he only really gets to see us at weekends at the best of times. He travelled back from Afganistan on Sunday night but thanks to administrative faff, won't actually get back here to see us until late on Weds. DD is pretty unlikely to recognise him when he does arrive. Today he missed our 20 week scan (hasn't managed to get to a single appointment or scan with my ongoing pregnancy) but when we spoke on the phone today for the first time since he was deployed, he forgot to ask about it. I feel like he doesn't actually care about the baby i'm carrying. I had asked the sonographer to write down the gender of the baby so we could open the piece of paper together and find out. But I'm now so pissed off at the whole situation, not to mention cross with him, that I've just opened the paper myself. So for the benefit of the people of mumsnet - who may very well care more about this pregnancy than DH for all I know -
it's a girl.
I can't stop sobbing. I want to be sharing this news with someone I love for fuck's sake, not just my toddler daughter and an empty room and a computer screen. I'm so lonely and stressed and tired all of the time. I never wanted to be a parent on my own for most of the time, but that's what I'm being - whilst dealing with full time job and house and sodding hyperactive labrador.
Sorry, I know I'm dripping with self-pity. I know I'm lucky in so many ways. But I'm tired and pregnant and just want someone to give me a hug or make me a cup of tea or something. Instead I've got to do and wash and sterilise bottles, do laundry, clean kitchen, feed and bathe DD and try to cheer up so I can actually play with her and read books and do all the things that I feel guilty about not doing whilst I'm at work ...
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Relationships
Feel like army is killing my marriage.
9 replies
freudianslips · 20/10/2009 16:38
OP posts:
cat64 ·
20/10/2009 16:52
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cat64 ·
21/10/2009 18:24
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