I met DP when I had just turned 39 and right from the start we have talked about forming our family through adoption because of a hereditary disease in his family which is more of a problem for him than me - I would take the chance. We never used contraception although I was supposed to say when it was not a 'good' time. I interpreted this as I saw fit, i.e. I ignored it - as I'm sure he knew I would. Anyway, my dastardly plans came to nix and six months later, as we hit two happy, committed years together, I turned 41 and found myself in the waiting room of a fertility clinic, planning ivf on my own with a donor. I took this plan home to DP who said he wasn't wild about it, wanted to adopt instead, felt railroaded etc. but in the face of my determination, said we should be treated together, which, since it worked, means he's the legal father of the child and very happy about it too - no problems with the donor aspect (perhaps his favourite part). We've told some of our friends and they've all cooed over DP, oh how generous and selfless etc. No mention of how I've grieved that I'm not carrying 'his' baby because I don't see him as a carrier of unwanted diseases but an amazing person the type of which should be added to the world not taken away. But hey, I got over it, I'm pregnant and I believe we have everything we need to love and parent this child.
I'm booked in for induction today, at 42 weeks, so I'm quite emotional and busy putting little babygros in my hospital bag. DP, lying on the bed, discussing names, gives me a weighty but sheepish look and says, I've been thinking maybe I'd like to have a child that is biologically mine. If you can and want to, after this, we should try.
We leave for the hospital in a couple of hours.
Can anyone think of a suitable emoticon?
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Kill him or kiss him?
11 replies
comeinnumber49yourtimeisup · 05/09/2009 15:37
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