After finding out that H's friendship with a colleague had crossed the line a couple of weeks ago, I've been fighting the urge to contact her. I have a couple of texts she sent from her phone, so know for sure that she was making a play for H, following her own marriage breakdown.
I will probably never know exactly what went on, and H denies any physical contact, I genuinely think it was more the start of an emotional affair which was caught in the early stages, but may well have progressed to more if her XH hadn't acted on his suspicions.
H has to work with this woman in an office of about 50 people, a long way from where I live. I will probably never have to see her again unless I visit his work for some reason. When it came out I wrote a long mail to her which I never sent, and am glad of that now! I do feel some need to contact her though, I've met her after she once came to our house for a meal (she seemed nice but seemed to be sussing me out), and know that while I was away for a weekend at a family funeral she brought her dc to my house (hundreds of miles from hers) and spent the day out with H and our children. This makes me livid beyond belief, although H had told me about it at the time, I had no idea the friendship had become "blurred" at that point or I would never have let it happen.
H and I are still deciding what we want to do, and are in counselling. Would you contact her? Will it bring any satisfaction to tell her what I think of her or should I just leave well alone? I don't expect to find out any more details, or get any reassurance, but it doesn't feel right that she can just crawl back into the woodwork without hearing from me at all.
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Relationships
Has anyone ever confronted the OW? What did you do/say and did it help or make things worse?
tiredoftherain · 14/08/2009 11:41
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