Hi, not sure if this post will make much sense! Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this...
I've been with my DP for 7 years, we have a little girl together. We knew each other many more years before we got together, it always felt kind of inevitable. All in all, we have a happy relationship, with our ups & downs. I do love him very much & I feel there is a reliability & commitment in our relationship.
However, during the initial phase of our relationship- 6 years ago now- I fell in love with someone else, a good friend of mine at the time; the whole thing lasted a year. Nothing ever came out of that, nothing sexual ever happened, but it could have (it's just that this other guy & I didn't do anything until I would finally make up my mind...and I couldn't make it up for a whole year, the whole thing was torture to be honest for all 3 of us).
DP & I, at the time, discussed it loads (with all the pain that involved) & managed to get through it & become stronger as a couple. Still, this other guy who I gave up for DP still haunts my dreams! This is quite literal; I often dream of him & long for him. I often think 'what if...' I have cut all contact with him because I couldn't bear the guilt of knowing I would be contacting him behind DP's back (I had already hurt him enough by falling in love with someone else during that time). But I miss lots of things about him. Particularly the laughter he brought to my life, the openness, the sense of freedom, the sense of potential. The sense of youth.
I sometimes think- is this what my life is then? This is it? This is the last man I'll ever kiss & have sex with? Sometimes this thought hurts a lot.
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Relationships
The one that got away
6 replies
nostalgicattimes · 06/08/2009 16:51
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