Hi OP I haven't read the whole thread yet, will do that ASAP. My P is emotionally, sometimes physically abusive. I won't let him kiss me, though we do have sex. Kissing is very intimate, and I don't want him near me. Your bloke is punishing you as part of the abuse, to make you feel upset and rejected. This is typical. Will read it all when the kids stop whittering on!

sorry.... I had to cut short as H was coming into the room! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, especially because you still love him. I've been there.. just like you.. many years ago. And the kissing stopped short just like that, and then SEX started being more his 'preference' everytime. And now it's ALWAYS his preference.

I feel for you, because I know how hurtful it is. Really, really hurtful, like your insides are being pulled out. I remember that feeling all to well....

Please know that it isn't your fault.. it's his issue, and who knows why they do this??

That's why I asked if he shows other signs of emotional abuse.. if you've only been together for a short time (few years) then it could be the 'very' beginning stages of abuse.. OR I could be totally wrong, but the fact that he just stopped cold like that leads me to believe that it could be more..

If I were to do it all over again......... I would have left my H. long ago when he first stopped the affection and intimacy. Now I'm a co-dependent, and need to leave.

Hello jaydulwich, if you don't mind my asking... has he shown any other signs of 'meaness'?? Forgive me, as I'm in a mood tonight.. but I think it's so selfish of them..

Is he doing this to punish you??

hello , my dp , hasnt kissed me for nearly a year and 7 months and the last time he did he was a bit drunk and yes its very hurtful for me as i love to kiss the man i love and for no reason he just stopped. i have told him how i feel yet he does nothing

CherryChoc, I feel for your situation as well. Even though it's different, if we really think about it,.... it's the same because you still don't get intimacy, just groping... perhaps you should try and cut him off until he 'gets it', or understands what you mean by intimacy., i've heard of your situation before also.... I'm pretty sure that counselling would help for sure, because at least the will is there, and he 'wants' to kiss.. even though he doesn't know when to quit!!!

Ya, I was on the other EA thread, I hop on when I'm feeling down and need to talk, because it keeps me sane. (if that's the spelling)
thank-you FoxinSocks, I tend to (like the rest of us mums) forget about myself, and only focus on everyone around me. Guess we need to look out for ourselves as well, otherwise what good will we be if / when we crumble???

I will research aspergers / autism, it's a good point, but think it's more cultural thing rather. He is very old-school traditional (insert his race here) and it stems back from his father. He is, and I've told him this, a carbon-copy of his father. I remember listening to his dad going-off on his wife for hours, and hours. Didn't understand what he was saying, but I sure got the tone. His mum would just sit and listen to it, because that's what you do. So.......... that's more than likely why.

My thing is that I am so darned proud, that I don't want to go to therapy (again...) because the way I see it is you can't MAKE someone want to kiss you right??? I don't want him to force himself to want to be face to face with me, or 'intimate'. So I know I have to leave and end the relationship, and try to carry on with my life because I feel like it's on hold right now. I can't possibly think of the future, and that's not right either.

Op i remember you from the Ea thread.
I noticed some posters comment about the no kissing,,no sex face to face.
I was like this, it was actually me who refused to kiss him and didnt really want to be intimate with him.

Looking back this was for a variety of reasons, i couldnt be affectionate with him as it would lead to groping and letchy type behaviour, he was also extremeley emotonally abusive, although i didnt recognise this at the time.

However, since then, i have dated, and find myself not wanting to kiss whatsoever.Maybe its an intimacy thing for me now.
No use whatsoever, just thinking out loud, sorry .

Cherrychoc this is a fairly common problem, and a key factor in it is: does your H pull his wieght domestically? If he doesn't, then it's no wonder you don't want sex; sex has become one more service he expects from you.

I think in my case it is that DP needs sex to feel loved & valued and therefore relax enough to be intimate, but I need the intimacy there before I even vaguely want the sex so we are at a stalemate. He thinks that sex is intimacy so doesn't seem to understand when I try to explain.

Oh, and he was emotionally very, very controlling.

Funny, he is a terrific friend. Functions normally, excels in his job. But the autistic tendencies are there. And unless your other half doesn't find you attractive anymore, or you have some sort of mad halitosis problem, I would put money on the fact that he suffers from what my ex does.

God, I'm identifying with threads left, right and centre tonight!

Yes, been exactly where you are. Six years ago I lived with a man for 3 years. Wemaybe kissed for the first few months, then ...nothing. He would turn his head, or purse his lips, or tense up.. or just act revolted.

You know why?

Turns out he was on the Aspergers/autism spectrum. He self diagnosed himself in the end. This man is still a friend of mine today and a high ranking police officer, but he could not do intimacy. Sex, yes. Kissing, no. I went through agonies over it and in the end I dumped him.

Happy to chat more if you like.

I think the question you need to ask is who could stay with an emotionally abusive and controlling man for 8 years?

I can't even get to the 'not kissing' bit because if someone was abusive and controlling, think that would be very low down my list (or at least should be very low down)

and in your lose lose situation, you forgot to mention the damage it's doing to yourself staying in the relationship too - you can't always think of everyone else, at some point you need to think of yourself too.

Hello Psych and Crystal, I feel the same way. Not just about kissing, but about intimacy and sex in general.

My partner is very stressed from work since DS was born. He also has a much higher sex drive than me, since DS was born my sex drive has been practically zero - I'm not even interested in masturbation (sorry if TMI). He seems to react to this by texting me asking for "fun" several times a day which is irritating in the extreme. He used to hump me (like a jack russell humps your leg) in bed as well until I asked him to stop because it was really the least sexy thing I'd ever experienced!

We don't have an issue with kissing as such - he wants to kiss - but it's never a nice delicate intimate kiss, it's more a sexual kiss which seems to go on for ages, I find it suffocating, the other day I was trying to get away and he noticed and I said I do like kissing but it's like you have to do it all the time - can't we just look at each other for a minute, but his reaction was like, why would we want to do that? I told him he could touch anywhere on my body except my boobs, bum & pussy and I actually did start to enjoy it but the next time, he didn't seem to remember, he just goes straight for my "bits" which I don't want, I'd rather just get him over and done with and not bother with me, especially if it's going to be like that.

I am so fed up of the fact that every time we interact he seems to think it should be sexual. We never ever do anything non sexual together any more. I keep saying I will start my own support thread and not doing it

Sorry this is quite rambly/garbled and not very good grammar-wise.

HBLB: Yes, I think it does come from that film (which I always seem to remember was called fanny by gaslight but perhaps the name has been changed for modern sensibilities...)

Thanks for all the comments!! It sure does help... SolidGold, yes... all of the above, unfortunately.. and I have spent hours on here talking about that as well. I could write a list of nasty things he's said and done to me, or my friends / family.

That is why it was so important for me to bring up the 'no kissing' issue in this context. (keeping in mind that just not liking kissing isn't the same thing)

Honestly, he was very passionate before we were married, that is why I married him!

HELLO CRYSTAL! Wow, so you know exactly how I feel... how terrible for you, I'm really glad therapy worked out for you, because I can relate to how you were feeling probably before you went. My therapist said that he just doesn't like kissing, and it's normal for your relationship. hmmm... not the relationship I want though.

As someone else mentioned on this thread to me, you can find someone who would appreciate you more. I know that I don't want to live forever like this, and we're not getting any younger, that's for sure.

It was very important for me to confirm that in (albeit rare cases) that a part of emotional abuse can be 'witholding affection / intimacy' when present with other signs of the abuse as well.

It almost gives me that little bit more of strength that I need, because when you are beat down emotionally, verbally, and threatened for so many years, you really do become a different person, and not so easy to make a strong / valid decision without second-guessing it.
Thanks for listening

Where does that term come from? Is it from a film called Gaslight? (Am I thinking of the right one, the one where the woman marries some bloke who tries to drive her mad?)

Gaslighting - nasty mindgames such as telling people that what they saw/heard/felt didn't actually happen purely to mess with their heads.

Dear Psych - here is a longer version of my earlier post. I havent posted on here before although have watched this chatroom avidly for about 18 months - also i do not want to hijack your thread but it does sound like you are in a remarkably similar position to myself. I have been married for 15 years (astonishing really) and have 2 DS's. My DH has never been a good kisser he pushes himself on me rather than a 'give and take' and as a consequence we have not kissed properly - or during sex - for I cant remember how long. But it is not replaced by anything else 'intimate' e.g. neck kissing etc. In fact sex is not intimate if that can be possible - I think it was described earlier as 'assisted masturbation' which sounds awful but probably acurately describes it. After years of internal conflict and self doubt I have recently been to counselling for it to be confirmed that my DH is a classic 'passive- aggressive' and also projects his own uncertainties etc onto me - i.e. when he is doing something controlling he tells me to stop objecting as I am being controlling. This has been a huge revelation to me as it explains all those years of doubting and questioning and general internal turmoil and torment. I have come to the conclusion that despite the young age of DS's I need to get out. Having said that actually how I go about that is another question. I am now beating myself up about being complicit in my 'abuse' by not standing up for myself in this marriage. DH doesnt know I have been to counselling - I have been to scared to tell him! I need to ask him to come to counselling and am building up to that. But on the kissing point part of what has got me to this point is that I cannot continue to have sex without intimacy - and that for me means kissing. I want to give myself the opportunity to have a proper wholesome relationship where there is proper shared intimacy and kindness. I also do not want my DS's to grow up thinking the way DH treats me is how women should be treated. However I am scared about taking the next steps - I suspect its a bit like diving into a cold lake initially shocking but once you get used to it exhilarating!
Your DH sounds like he is a passive aggressive, all I can suggest is see if you can find a decent counsellor, it is worth every penny even if all it does is help you realise it has not been 'you' for all these years

If you don't like it and he knows it then it's abuse and quite cold and strange tbh. I wouldn't like it either. Who dosn't like a good snog or even a simple peck?

Why are youb with this man exactly? you say he's a abusive. I really hope you find the courage to leave him.

What does gaslights mean in this context? <puzzled>

He can still be a good father without being a good partner to you. When you say he is 'emotionally abusive', do you mean that he is verbally nasty to you, puts you down, criticises, gaslights? Or that he simply doesn't appear to love you romantically any more?
If it;s the latter and the couple-relationship is simply dead, then you will all be a lot happier if you negotiate an amicable split.

Hi - I think you are me!! I have not kissed/been kissed by my husband for years, yes a quick peck when he leaves for work but we have sex with no intimacy etc. I am at work now and dont have time for a long post I will come back later - but I want you to know you are not the only one in the world with this issue!

Don't have sex with him - it is about give and take - he is doing lots of taking but not giving anything.

And no he is not an attentive father because he is showing your kids a skewed idea of how a relationship is supposed to be.

You are better off doing it alone or finding someone who can be an all round good role model.

I think you can't seperate this from his other actions, it is all part of the same problem.

Do you want to live your life like this forever?

Do you want your children to see this relationship as how life should be?

Maybe you should speak to someone in rl, a cousellor, this could help you talk though all whatr is going on and help you come to some decisions.

Thank-you msdevine, and you're right,.. that's why I was feeling guilty b/c I did cave in. And tired of it, I don't want it like that anymore.. and would rather do without.

This is exactly what I needed, to hear advice from people, b/c it's too embarrassing to share with friends.

Best wishes with your relationship as well.. they are a work in progess. thats for sure..

gosh how do you find it possible to still have sex. I understand trying to make it work as its so hard to think of breaking up a family but if you have already made that decision I would say just make the leap.

if you just keep staying with him for say another 10 years and then break up, you may have missed your chance to be happy with someone else.

I am all for staying together and working on relationships as i am in the process of trying to save my own relationship.

But it has to be a two way effort and it does not sound like he is bothering.

I hope you sort it out.xxx

Do children notice lack of intimacy? This puts so much pressure on me, so either I break up the family, (he's a very attentive father to them) and raise them as single mom, (which works for many people), or do I stay in this relationship and further damage my children emotionally?

It's a lose, lose situation. Welcome to my world

Well with regards to splitting with him, children house etc., all I can say is that children learn from their parents, how to conduct adult relationships.

So your kids are learning to have relationships without intimacy and with a degree of emotional abuse.

If you think that's worth not going through the upheaval of a split, then keep the status quo.

boywonder, I'm sorry to hear that for you... I think it is human nature to want to feel physical / emotional affection..

have you suggested counselling to her?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ps. I'm on North American time, so I know it's late for most. I will keep checking the thread, it's such an amazing site, and very helpful in gaining needed strength.

I appreciate all comments!! It's so nice to talk about it with someone.. believe me! Yes.. some just don't like kissing, and that's OKAY. But he does, just not anymore with me. He definitely has intimacy issues. And sex is NEVER face to face. So can you imagine that for years, and years!!

Sometimes I wonder how I've lasted for so long.. but I'm okay, two wonderful children keep me going. I know I would be better off without him.

What I really needed is someone to tell me that it is okay to not want to stay with someone for that reason, along with many other reasons.

If her were to date someone new, he would kiss her, and he would enjoy it too.

I feel degraded by him, especially the no face contact during sex, and the no kissing, and then he has said many mean things in the past, and present.

Sorry to ramble, just makes me feel better. I guess b/c I promised myself no more sex with him, but I caved last night,.... it was a long time due!!!

Thats a bit different though - MsF - its something you have 'never' enjoyed, so fair enough. If there is a big change from doing it before it may well indicate a change in feelings.

I have been with DH for 23 years... I have never enjoyed 'intimate kissing' (lip to lip) during or after sex. I hate lovebites too...

DH wishes i did...we have discussed it....we have 'compomised'.... we kiss elsewhere.

I find kissing mouth to mouth is very 'suffocating' .... 'domineering'... and have never felt relaxed.

just wanted to explain that a marriage can survive without kissing...mouth to mouth....

hope i help.

My exp and I stopped all kissing. We did kisses on the cheek, but during sex we actually very rarely even looked at each other, let alone kissed. Twas the beginning of the end. When I told him I wanted to go, and cited that as an example of why I thought we had an unhealthy relationship and he then tried to start kissing me again but I just didn't want him to do it by then.

Its like the Cher song, its in his kiss. It tells you a lot.

There were a million other issues obviously. But its not a good sign if you don't want to have that intimacy with each other.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

It would make me sad now...life is so short, it's a shame to feel sad about something that you can change(by getting out of it and finding the one that wants to snog your face off).

thanks James.. I never really thought about the fact that someone is out there waiting for me.. I wonder if there really is???

I am happy to hear everyone's ideas on the 'no kissing for 8 years thing' because this certainly isn't a topic I can really bring up with friends or family. I've tried, but most people just brush it off, probably b/c they just don't want to know what goes on behind closed doors.

Even my mom just listened, but didn't really offer advice, nor has she ever said that I should leave. She didn't say much at all actually. I'm been pretty alone with this situation. When I spoke to a therapist a few years ago, she just said that some relationships are different, and this may be one of them. I agree, but it isn't okay if it makes you feel bad.

I couldn't imagine being married and not not kissing for 8 years. However! I had little in the way of kissing with exh1 and he was very abusive. I did also find that although I could have sex with exh2, kissing wasn't right towards tthe end of our relationship. It felt more intimate/personal/closer that I wanted to be than having full sex with him iyswim. It felt plain wrong.

<hug> Can't blame you for wanting to talk about it, it does sound like an unpleasant situation. But remember that you're only in it for as long as you want to be in it. I hope you'll find the strength to get out some day soon and find the affectionate man who is out there waiting for you.

I've thought of the noway vibes, but when I tried in bed a few months ago, he tightened his lips. I also tried to kiss him goodbye and it was just fake, he never made an attempt after that. And that was my door-opener.

He's a good person, and he's a not so good person.. yes I do want to separate, but so difficult.. as you probably know, especially with children, and a business, and a house.

Not complaining about the no kissing so much as trying to find someone who's been through it. Or someone who knows someone who's been through it.

2rebecca -- yes he knows. But I never follow through, and he doesn't believe me.

MoChan -- THANK-YOU [SMILE] I really needed to hear that this has happened to someone else..

Giantbanana -- I thought of that too.... that's exactly what it is, and nothing more.. so I guess I am really just sad, and looking to talk about it.

I feel too proud now to mention it anylonger to him. And too proud to try to kiss him. I know our relationship is doomed, actually we don't even have a relationship.. we are more like roommates with children.

maybe one day.. I will leave..

It sounds as though you want a divorce if you don't actually want him to kiss you. I'm not quite sure why you're complaining if he's not kissing you but no way would you want him to. Maybe he picks up the "no way" vibes.
Some people do just put up with less than perfect relationships, I couldn't but then I'm on my second marriage. Back to quantity versus quality in a marriage again.

I have thought of 'Pretty Woman' many times. That's how I feel actually, not worthy of the intimacy. Sex versus kissing being more intimacy is a long-time debate. Everyone has different feelings on that one.

BEFORE, I would automatically think sex is more intimate... NOW obviously, I find kissing more intimate. I can have sex with him anytime, even when I'm angry with him, because all it is now is a physical need being met.

psych101, I know you wanted answers about the kissing on this thread, but why do you want to kiss a man who is emotionally abusive? There are loads of men out there who would love to kiss you and treat you better. There's no need to stay with someone who hurts you. Sex without affection is pretty much just assisted masturbation.

It's horrendous. Someone did this to me, and for a good long time. The person who did it was abusive, not physically, but emotionally and verbally, and his withdrawal of physical affection (not contact) was a key part of that. He was constantly looking for ways to subtly hurt me, and that was something that he knew would hurt me. It sounds to me as though you are in a similar situation, actually. I couldn't live with it, and removed myself from it, eventually. If my current partner started to behave that way, I would see it as a pretty clear sign that the relationship was doomed.

I am really sorry that you are in this situation, because I know how much it can hurt. Sorry not to be more helpful.

Usually when I kiss my husband it's not linked to sex though. I kiss him before he leaves for work in the morning and I kissed him today on his bare back when he was bending forward doing woodwork stuff and looking gorgeous.
I couldn't live without those sorts of kisses.
Does your husband know this could be a relationship breaker?

I have opportunity to kiss another man, should I wish to... but would be very difficult to do.

That could be a loaded question "Are you planning to have an affair?" Because, otherwise, then I would die a very old and lonely woman.

Holyguacamole -- no other form of intimacy, except from time to time he will grab my arm and squeeze it for a moment, and that is his way of showing affection. But that is probably once every 6 months. I used to be happy when he did that, now I could care less.

Do I want him to kiss me now??? NO WAY.
What I really want is for him to leave, without all the reprocussions of separation. eg; children, house, business...

For any of my former chat friends from Emotional Abuse... 'I'm back' !

I'm not sure I agree about kissing being more intimate than sex. I sometimes feel kissy and sometimes don't, nothing to do with how amorous I feel. I do feel kissier when I'm hungry though so it's maybe a desire for oral gratification, in psychobabble.
I can enjoy sex without kissing though and think that if you're feeling emotionally abused the not kissing bit is probably a final straw rather than the main issue.

Solidgold, that makes a lot of sense!! Why I feel the need to find something on this, is because it baffles me that no one else seems to have been through this.

Just looking for a valid reason to leave I guess. maybe just obsessed.. (sorry for spelling, can't seem to today)

Just a refresher on the question to anyone else..

"Could you imagine having sex for 8 years without kissing??"

Sorry - 2Rebecca put it much more simply, whilst I was posting.

Were you planning an affair?

I wonder if you remember Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman'? Her line was that as a prostitute she would do anything but kissing on the mouth. It is very intimate, isn't it, and involves letting your guard down. If your dh is very controlling and emotionally abusive then he may well be expressing it in this way. But are you really saying that you want him to kiss you, whilst being very controlling and emotionally abusive - or are you hoping that deep down he feels affection for you that he would express in a kiss, despite his other behaviour towards you?

Thanks 2rebecca.. that is actually what I was searching for..

No! I can't spend the rest of my life without the intimacy of a kiss (because that's what it is)..

Just not strong enough to leave. (sigh)

And in answer to your further question - no way could I be married and not feel close enough to kiss my husband in the way that you mean. I think that is a very sad thought indeed

I rather think that if you didn't feel your H was emotionally abusive anyway, you wouldn't be that bothered about the kissing.
I am not sure why you are so desperate for information on this specific issue when it won't fix the bigger problem (of emotional abuse).

Ok, maybe instead of searching Google, what about asking him? What does he say about it?

From there you can begin to work on it if that is what you want to do. I'd guess that if he is controlling and abusive, that there is some sort of connection in there somewhere?

Generally though, is he affectionate in other ways, does he hold hands, hug, what's his body language like when you're together, tactile? Could it be that he distances himself emotionally by not getting too close?

I think you need to talk to him. Lack of communication sounds like it could be a major factor?

I think if you'd like kissing sometimes and husband won't and won't discuss why then that's a problem. I wouldn't want to feel that I'm never going to be kissed again, that would be very depressing. To be honest if my husband refused to ever kiss me I would tell him I wasn't happy and that we needed to talk about it soon, because I didn't think I could live in a relationship without kisses.
Does it mean that much to you though? If your husband told you he never wished to kiss you again could you stay in the relationship or would you want to leave? Other people's opinions are irrelevent. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life unkissed your bloke has to change or you have to separate.

I've stopped persuading him... believe me!!! I'm just living with it now. Just makes me feel pretty un-loved.

Emotional abuse.. I've confronted him on it. He knows he is, but the cycle stays the same until I decide to leave. I've researched it until I turned blue. All the classic signs..

And because of all the research I've done, I think that witholding affection is a form of enotional abuse.. even if rare.

I understand there are many people who don't like kissing, and that is a personal choice, and as long as their are other strong bonding in the marriage then it's fine..

As mentioned, he really enjoyed kissing me before, and he was a very good kisser! That is why I married him . My breath isn't bad, my appearance is pretty much exactly the same as when we married 10 years ago!! So not sure what it is....

Just really wanted to talk about it, because it is the ONE thing I couldn't research..

I would like someone to answer this question... "Could you imagine having sex for 8 years without kissing??"

Okay... picture this.... 8 years of sex, life, hello's or goodbye's without kissing. Kissing of ANYKIND, on the neck, or anywhere else..

he was a very good kisser until we had our first child, and I know darned well he enjoyed it back in the day..

Just sex without any form of intimacy..

So, let's leave emotional abuse, control aside for now, because other than listing all the other issues in our relationship, we can't term EA on this one incident. I understand that. My main concern is that I can't find anything on the internet, or anyone else for that matter who has this issue?? That really surprises me!!

Please know that I'm not the ooey-gooey mushy kissy type either.... but now and then would be nice!

What does he say about why he doesn't want to kiss you? Because some people simply don't like kissing and that is not, in itself, an indication that they are emotionally abusive (for instance, a person may have a phobia/obsession that his/her breath smells and therefore not want to kiss or be kissed).
However, if you are being emotionally abused, would't it be better to address that as a whole? If he is abusive, then persuading him to kiss you sometimes isn't going to stop him abusing you in other ways.

Maybe he just really doesn't like kissing?

I rarely like kissing and I don't think I'm emotionally abusing my DH. I'm not trying to belittle how you feel, I'm very sorry you are feeling so upset, it's just that your DH might not be doing it to control you.

thanks for the reply.. I have mentioned it to him many times.... I've tried to initiate a kiss, and he won't. We don't kiss EVER.. not hello, or goodbye, or even new years.. He knows it's upsetting to me, yet whenever I've tried,... say after sex... he will purse his lips tightly, like he doesn't want to. And please know that we haven't kissed during, (before or after either) sex for well.. years..

Sex without kissing can be a nice (fun) change from the 'norm' but this IS the norm now..

The reason I believe it is a form of emotional abuse,.. only because it's been years, and years... is because I believe it is a form of control. Control of affection. Emotional abuse, unfortunately, is something I've been living with (aside from the lack of kissing) for 10 years now.

I'm just very surprised that I can't seem to find anyone who is in the same situation as me.

I sometimes prefer sex without kissing, like if I'm feeling full after dinner, or before I've cleaned my teeth. It's me who's fussier about not kissing though, bloke isn't bothered and thinks I'm weird! If I've got up to clean my teeth on a morning/ am not full of food I'm happy to kiss though. I wouldn't class not kissing as emotional abuse, just strange behaviour and am surprised you've never mentioned it if it bothers you. Bloke mentioned my not kissing as he was concerned I didn't love him and got alot of reassurance that it was just me being a bit weird. If I'm tired I don't feel very kissy either.

My now ex-dp was also very controlling and abusive but as far as sex went, it was probably the only good thing in our relationship and always involved lots of kissing.
Just a couple of questions if you don't mind...Does he kiss you at any other time, hello, goodbye or even a kiss and cuddle without sex? Also, did he used to kiss you in the early days and it just dropped off? If I were you I'd ask him why, it seems a reasonable enough question.

Just wondering if anyone wants to discuss this topic? Am I the only one who has resorted to sex without intimacy? 10 years of marriage, and the last 8 years of marriage without kissing, not even before, during or after sex, in any form.

I've searched many forms on emotional abuse, but I really want to discuss this topic, because I haven't heard of anyone else having to experience this...

DH is very controlling, and emotionally abusive.. but I need to discuss the 'no kissing part' any takers???