facebook

[notrealnickname]

has anyone been contacted by an x and fallen in love with them again?

[notrealnickname]

my x contacted me a month ago. we were together for several years 20 odd years ago. i finished it, and told myself i hated him!

when that friend request came through i thought long and hard before i accepted. we started off chatting and i bragged about my husband, family and lifestyle. but i checked in everyday to see if he had emailed and he would always talk to me when i was on chat. we have got much closer. he says he has never stopped loving me and i feel the same. but i have a family and i know this is wrong. my emotions have gone mad and i am up one minute and down the next. if we meet i know there will be no turning back. but if we dont we (i) will always wonder what if. marriage is good, so why do i feel i need to do this

[MorrisZapp]

Hasn't happened to me but is classic scenario. General advice is don't do it. You have too much to lose.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Don't do it.

Block him on facebook.

No good can come of it.

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

Why did you bin him 20 years ago? There would have been a very good reason, remember. You are not wanting this particular man, you are probably wanting to be 20 years younger. If your current relationship isn't great, look at whether that ought to be fixed or is better finished with - but remember that starting a relationship is never the answer to any problem. Relationships do not 'fix' people or make their lives better, they bring problems of their own.

[scrambledhead]

Oh my god. Are you me?

I'm going through the same right now. It's such a rollercoaster and a welcome change from being boring mum/wife.

But I have a lot to lose. I've never been so excited but scared at the same time.

[PresidentTaylor]

Don't do it. Scrambledhead's response says it all really - a change from being mum/wife (though I think that is not a good reason to do something like that). Get a hobby or something. Delete your facebook account.

[NorbertDentressangle]

Don't do it.

You're getting a buzz (and who wouldn't I guess?!)from the attention, the rose-tinted memories , the thrill of being told that he "never stopped loving you" etc.

But thats where it should end.

[lowenergylightbulb]

Step away from your computer. Some lovey dovey chat on facebook does not true love make. I'd bet that he's got a few chicks on the go on FB and is looking for sex.

This will not have a happy ending, he's playing you and any bloke who approaches married women over the web like this is a loser.

Put the effort into making your real life as exciting as you are into this fantasy - which is all it is.

[screamingabdab]

Another one saying don't do it.

If there are things you need to do to give your current life more challenge or excitement, then do them. Just not with this man.

You said yourself, your marriage is good.
Show some respect for your DH

[Tortington]

your not seing beyond your own nose

they are all the same once your washing the skiddy gruds and they leave a ring round the bath and don't help out with the kids

at the moment you are feeling wanted and desired -s omeone telling you things out of the ordinary every day rut that is every day life

if you did get together, your life wouldnt be all rainbows and balloons - it would be same shit diferent man more problems.

its flattering - and see it for JUST that

[lowenergylightbulb]

I'm giving you a 'slap' and a 'shake' to snap you out of it!!!

[ActingNormal]

Hahaha Custardo, I love that: "Same shit, different man!". And I agree, if there is nothing badly wrong with the one you have got, don't go through all the heartache involved in having an affair with another one! It won't be worth it and you will wish you hadn't done it!

[nikki1978]

Get off the computer and put some extra effort into your marriage. An ex of mine became a friend on facebook recently. I was madly in love with him 9 years ago and he buggered off with someone else and I was devastated. Luckily I am so happy with the man I am with and the first thing I thought when I saw my ex's wedding photos was thank god that wasn't me.

If you were so perfect for each other you would be together now, end of.

Are you bored in your life?

[TheMitsubishiWarrioress]

Get your DH on facebook, and start treating him like an 'affair'.

He might take a while to get used to it (or think you are barking mad) but if he catches on you get the thrill, the 'flirting' the eye contact over DC's heads when you remember what you said to each other earlier, and no-one gets hurt.

Hypothetically if there is time to squeeze contact in for this friend, it is there for your DH, and I suspect any of us would be gutted if the boot were on the other foot.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Read all my posts about it.

While the posters didn't understant precisely what my ex represented to me, they were right about it causing just pain and heartache.

Don't do it.

It isn't him you want, but your free and easy younger life.

[MorrisZapp]

Bear in mind he is also twenty years older now.

I used to fantasise endlessly about my ex, until I saw him in the street and realised he has lost all that boyish charm that I liked about him two decades ago.

And all the annoying, baggagey things that bugged you about him then? They've had time to multiply many times over.

The man you fancy doesn't exist. He's just had time to accumulate much more baggage and ishoos.

[Floopy21]

My first love (whom I never got over) found me on a social networking site 12 years later. It's been wonderful & more! We're getting married in August. But I was single and so was he...

[Springfleurs]

Someone I was at school with found an ex on Friends Reunited and they are married now. Think she already had a partner or husband too but that is very much glossed over and it is all oh so romantic........or rather tacky and cliched. Depends how you look at it I suppose.

I have had five long term relationships and speaking from vast experience I can tell you now that Custardo is right.

[WhenwillIfeelnormal]

Have a look at the thread on "Has the OW come back into our lives" for a reality check about old flames, intoxicating flattery and then the sheer devastation, horror and heartbreak this causes. Please stop this now. I suspect we can all understand how you feel and it is enormously flattering and has brightened up what can be a monotonous existence at times.

Please try and see this from your DH's point of view. How on earth would you feel if he were doing the same?

Bloody Facebook. The misery this site is causing....

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Same as Friend's Reunited.

[Unlikelyamazonian]

I would go for it! Life is too short to be happily married to just one nice bloke. How tepid and what a waste of ....erm...something.

Could you please let me have your H's name and contact details as he sounds ok and is probably soon-to-be available.

I am very excited even though I haven't met him.

Could you give me a few pointers so that I have the advantage over others? Eggs sunny-side-up or down? back or foot rubs? What sort of aftershave does he wear and can I cook him eggs benedict and take them to him in bed....

Definitely go for facebook mouldie. I am waiting....

PS have you got your H's tea on yet? He deserves something extra special.

[screamingabdab]

Unlikelyamazonian

I have just read the OW thread that whenwillIfeelnormal
refers to above. It's bloody heartbreaking

[howtotellmum]

yes- but we were both married- he late went on to divorce, but I couldn't leave my DH or break up the family home.

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

FFS I am so tired of people blaming Facebook for everything, when Facebook is actually great fun and has put e back in touch with a lot of old mates who it's been great to catch up with.
It's obsessive monogamism and (for women in particular) thinking that having The Right COuple Relationship is the most important thing in the world that causes all the anguish.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Unlikelyamazonian

Was a bit concerned when I first started reading your post.

Someone posted something similar about my husband and I was thinking, hands off he is mine