Wondering if I'm making a terrible mistake

[Commisioner]

I am in the process of moving in with my partner yet a load of doubts are starting to circulate in my mind.

He never phones me, ever. I think in our entire relationship he has maybe phoned me 3 times.

If he's seen me during the day, he will say stuff like "I won't phone/msn/text etc later as I've already spoken to you today" as if he's terrified of having to deal with me twice in one day.

I've noticed a little bit of controlling behaviour. For instance I mentioned a friend had started pole dancing for fitness classes and he said "oh, well I wouldn't want you doing that" as if I'd have to ask permision.

He just annoys me sometimes too, for no real reason ... like in town at weekend I was rushing around trying to find new shoes ... he was just dawdling right in front of me, getting in people's way etc ... in the car he acts as if he's the only person on the road.

Like last weekend a teenage lad was walking slowly across the road (as they do) and he didn't even slow down or anything, just drove directly towards him as if he wasn't there and then said "I'm not fucking moving for you, idiot" and I honestly thing he would have ran him over if the kid had not moved.

Sometimes he's really ignorent to people and then laughs, looks at me and says something like "I'm just like that sometimes!" as if its something to be proud of.

He's great in other areas but I don't know if I'm making a big mistake.

[rubyslippers]

if you think you are making a big mistake then you probably are

sorry if that sounds harsh (have also posted on your other thread re the babysitter)

most partners do things which annoy each other - BUT the other stuff makes up for it

was moving in a mutual decision?

What is good about the realtionship? are you attracted to him?

[notnowbernard]

You're not exactly promoting him here, I have to say

I believe one should be feeling excitement and have a bit of a buzz going on at the prospect of moving in with their DP - that is how I felt, anyway

I would perhaps postpone it for a bit to clarify how you really feel before committing?

[hullygully]

And you might move in with him.....??

[FabulousBakerGirl]

I wouldn't go out with him tbh nevermind live with him.

[Commisioner]

other times he's great, we have loads in common, we always have a good laugh and we laugh at the same things (like if we'd walked hours through rain and mud etc to reach a pub that we later found to be shut, we would both find it hilarious)

But other times I just wonder what the hell I'm doing. He doesn't take care of himself, went out saturday night looking like he was just popping out to asda. It just doesn't seem like he's all that interested sometimes, but he seems desperate for me to move in. I'm wondering if he's after a mother for his daughter rather than a partner for himself.

[warthog]

same advice as i've given in your other threads: don't move in, yes it would be a mistake. really, really, REALLY doesn't sound good.

[GypsyMoth]

how long have you known him for?

[warthog]

he's after sex, cooking, washing, cleaning and everything else you'll do for him and he's not prepared to do that much for you.

[MorrisZapp]

Is this the guy who asks you over then plays the computer and ignores you? Sorry, I can't remember if that was you.

How long have you been together, and how many nights do you normally spend together each week?

[RedCharityBonney]

Warthog, that's harsh but probably true unfortunately. OP, I think it looks very, very bad for long-term happiness I'm afraid!

[Pamboli]

Don't move. If he is like this now, and you are getting that annoyed already... well... it doesn't seem promising, does it?

[GypsyMoth]

just read your other thread.....run,now,fast!!

[Commisioner]

No he doesn't play computer much, that's one of his good points.

[warthog]

yes - sorry. that did sound rather harsh... i guess i'm frustrated because i don't think this is the first thread about this bloke and it worries me.

[MorrisZapp]

OP, again, how long have you known him and how many nights of the week would you normally spend at each other's houses?

[RedCharityBonney]

But I think you're right, warty. Sometimes being blunt is the best and most helpful thing you can be.