Festivals

[Rollergirl1]

I used to like to think that DH and I were pretty savvy when it came to the music/club/festival scene. Well we were. We lived in london up until we had our DD 3 years ago and were still going out regularly and doing the whole club thing and festival thing in the summer. And then moved to Surrey, where I am originally from, when we had our daughter. We also now have a lovely 1 yr old DS. Obviously our lifestyle has taken a massive beating. And with pleasure. My trouble is that my hubby seems to be rejecting any form of our previous life in fear of appearing too "cliched", as in "why the fuck would anyone go to camp bestival? It will be full of trendy try-hard cunts thinking they're still with it despite having children" And I am of the thought that it can't hurt once in a while.
And also,despite the try-hard cunt thing, isn't that what we are? Just because we now have children it doesn't mean that we don't like music and don't like dancing.

Am i being unrealistic?

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

Camp Bestival was the first ever festival I have been too, defintiely wasn't full of trendy try hard cunts just a lot of families enjoying themselves becasue there was something foe everyone.

[Devendra]

You are not being unrealistic.. We took DS to 2 festivals last year when he was 12 months.. planning on a few more this year. Of course its not the same as when we were toddler free but its still lots and lots of fun and you get to see all the lovely craziness through a childs eyes. If you go to family camping eveyone is in the same boat and we met some great people last year. Your DH is the cunt!!

[Queenoftheharpies]

rollergirl - are you married to my DP? That's the kind of thing he'd say, right down to the bizarre fear of being "cliched".

Do you have any mates you can go to the festival with?

[HaventSleptForAYear]

Oh dear.

I can kind of see his point that it won't be at all what you were used to and that you could be setting yourself up for disappointment if you think it will be "like before".

But surely if you go into it as in, "great, we'll get to see a couple of bands and hang out with other families" it should work, shouldn't it?

(am going to the Larmer Tree Festival for the first time this year with DSs aged 2 & 4) - hoping it will be great!

[Queenoftheharpies]

I don't think that's what her DH means - I think he's kicking off about the idea of being the kind of person who takes their kids to festivals.

As a 20something hipster, I too rolled my eyes at the 30-something festiparents, trying to manouevre some monster 4x4 buggy through a crowded beer tent, or yelling at Parsley and Jocasta to come to the non-competitive play tent AT ONCE while you're trying to enjoy a quiet joint.

But he's just going to have to get over himself, isn't he? Or stay at home.

[Overmydeadbody]

So your DH is more concerned that other people might label him a cliche than with whether or not you do things that you enjoy.

Hmmm, that would annoy me. If we all made sure we never did anything that could be viewed as a cliche we'd never do anything.

If you don't enjoy festivals and music but went along to be seen to be hip and cool and trendy, then fair enough, but if you'd genuinely enjoy it then he's just being silly.

[MorrisZapp]

Maybe he doesn't want to go, but doesn't want to admit why?

If he makes out it's all 'try hard cunts' etc, then he doesn't have to admit that he's too knackered or can't be bothered?

I must admit I'm the first to slag off places I can't be arsed going to, it lets me off the hook of admitting that it's not the place, it's me.

[seeker]

Leave him behind and go by yourself with the children and have a ball. Wouldn't want to go anywhere with a man who thought it was OK to use the word "cunt" as an insult anyway.

[Queenoftheharpies]

I'm beginning to think that blokes live in some strange parallel universe with a completely different idea of what's important and a completely different set of rules.

My DP won't come to antenatal classes because:

• "it's a cliche"
• "the other dads will all be cunts" (sorry seeker)
• etc
• yada
• waah! waah! I wish I was 20 again.

It would be funny if it wasn't so annoying.

[seeker]

Queenoftheharpies - " Leave him behind and go by yourself and make some good friends for after the baby arrives. Wouldn't want to go anywhere with a man who thought it was OK to use the word "cunt" as an insult anyway."

[mayorquimby]

in fairness i can kind of see his point, just because i know the exact kind of person he is talking about. you know the kind of parent who takes their 6 week old to glastonbury so that when they're older they can say they saw the stones live or some tossers with kids who are clearly bored out of their heads trying to still act young and cool. i know that this is only a small minority of parents who go and are like this, but they are the ones you remember, and you also remember thinking to yourself "i'm not going to be like that when i have kids".
as as others said it might be something he's just gotten into his head or he doesn't want to admit that he's old and doing something like this will just be a weekend long reminder that he's no longer young.

[Rollergirl1]

Queenoftheharpies: You are exactly right. It is all to do with how he thinks he will be viewed by others. Although he would profess not to care what other people think. He reacted in exactly the same way when some friends of ours suggested holidaying in ibiza a few years ago. He relented and he eventually admitted that it was a great, fun holiday but I always have this struggle with him. He seems intent on cutting his nose off to spite his face.

It's annoying but also pretty isolating.

[Queenoftheharpies]

Rollergirl, we should organise a playdate for our respective partners! They'd get on like a house on fire.

Or are playdates a cliche?

[mwff]

if you're near family and/or (childless!) friends and therefore have babysitting on tap then you can keep going to gigs/festies as you were (although there's not a lot you can do about the fact that the crowd seems to get younger all the time ) OR you can give up any interest in live music you may once have had OR you can find some way of combining your love of music and a family life.

kids and festivals combine pretty well, and although you come to appreciate different aspects of them once you have kids it doesn't mean you have to confine yourself to self-proclaimed "family friendly" ones (i can't say camp bestival appeals to me). why not just go to one of the smaller fests you already know/love, near enough to home you can make a run for it if necessary?