Should I be worried about his mental health?

[SweetMaryJesus]

My partner has always been very low on confidence. To the extent where he wouldn't even wear a different style of shirt incase anyone noticed and commented. He wouldn't change his hairstyle or anything.

Then a few weeks ago he told me he'd had "an epithany". He said he'd suddenly realised that it didn't matter what anyone else thought or said, nothing mattered because in 100 years, we'll all be dead anyway and the small stuff won't even be remembered.

So that day, to prove to me that he meant it, he went and shaved his head (not bald, no.2) and wore a red shirt, something he would never have done before and his personality seemed really different in a way I just can't put my finger on.

Next day was monday morning and he became panicky about going to work with the new hairstyle. To cut a long story short, he eventually went and came home saying he'd dealt with it by creating another persona. He was calling this other side to him "andy". I laughed it off, he said he knew it sounded silly but it gave him a confidence boost pretending to be someone else for a few minutes until everyone had commented on the hair.

What is worrying me is that this "andy" thing has stayed and he's doing it quite a lot. For instance the neighbours were playing really loud music all last night and DP was afraid to go around until he decided "andy" wouldn't be afraid and he went around under this persona and sorted it out.

This morning we were due at a BBQ and before we went he said to me "do you think I should go as myself or Andy?"

I think it's gone too far and is now wierd rather than helpful. Am I over-reacting?

[thisisyesterday]

hmm to start with I thought good for him. but by the time i reached the end i was thinking "that's getting a bit odd"

iit could be he has just found a way of coping and getting out there without feeling so bad about himself and he is just taking it a step too far.

have a chat to him. tell him it's starting to make you feel a little uncomfortable

[walkinthewoods]

Mmmm. How long have you been together? How old is he? Has he been metally unwell before (whilst with you or has he told you about any metal illness?)

Am not an expert at all but have dp with MH issues (not the same as this)

[walkinthewoods]

My n is obviously not working. Also has anythign else gone on in your life recently...birth, death, redundancy ETC

[philopastry]

My initial instinct is to reassure you. I'm not sure that you should be worried. It sounds like he has found a way of breaking out of an old habitual way of acting that didn't allow him to express himself and wasn't making him happy.

I am a trained coach and we often invent different perspectives with clients to allow them to behave differently in order to break out of habitual ways of acting or thinking.

Has he been reading any self developement type books or been on a self confidence seminar or something? He might just have been introduced to this 'tool' and be using it to make his life better.

Once he becomes comfortable acting in this new way he might well drop referring to 'Andy'. He will have become the self confident person he clearly wants to be.