How do I make him stop this irritating, frustrating behaviour??

[RabbitPoo]

Been with someone for around 3 months. Things are good in all areas apart from sex. He is just so annoying, I sometimes just feel like walking out before I swing for him, even though I know he doesn't do it on purpose.

Firstly, we have the nose rubbing thing. I swear to god this winds me up something rotten. It starts as we're kissing, he then pulls back slightly and starts rubbing noses with me. First few times I just ignored it ... but then it started to really grate on me because he was doing it ALL THE TIME. EVERYTIME we kissed, he kept doing it. Finally, I was just about to ask him to stop doing that and he said suddenly "I love that, eskimo kiss" and he smiled ... I didn't have the heart to say anything. He then did it again and said "do you like that?" and did it again! I had to just get up and walk away because it simply flicks my switch. I have no idea why. I wanted to say "actually, no ... it makes me want to rip your face off" but I know he is low on confidence and I didn't think that would help.

So, I've started pulling away from him everytime he does it, which is everytime we kiss. I thought he would have got the message but he just does it more. Is this is even normal behaviour???

And the rest of it, slightly less annoying but bothering me all the same. Everytime we kiss he makes "mmmmm" noises. I hate it, the odd time would be fine but he does it EVERYTIME we kiss. Then he says wierd stuff too and it just turns me off because I feel myself getting annoyed.

But the worst of it is the nose thing. For instance we'll start kissing, he'll pull away and do that. I pull away from that and start kissing properly again ... it gets heavier and he'll pull away and do that fucking nose thing again. It just ANNOYS me.

So is his behaviour wierd? should I just tell him I don't like it or will it upset him?

not my first post btw, he knows my usual log in name and obviously I don't want him coming across this.

[missingtheaction]

well, you either have to pee or get off the pot. Tell him you hate it, or put up and shut up. Doesn't matter if it's normal or not, it's what it does to you.

He won't 'get the message' and if you let it fester he will be rightly aggrieved if you later use it as a reason to finish with him.

Sounds ghastly frankly.

[zookeeper]

If you don't tell him you don't like it how is he expected to know?

YABU

[controlfreakythecontrolfreak]

why are you on here talking to us... don't you think you'll be more likely to improve things by talking to eskimo man himself??

[Stinkermink]

Erm, I think it sounds like the end of a relationship to be honest! Once every little thing they do, like flicking the kettle on or making mmmmmmh noises while kissing, starts to wind you up it will only get worse. I would say, get out before you get too deep.

[poopscoop]

hilarious post! stick a bogey on the end of yours and let him rub it onto his!

[howtotellmum]

I can't see how things are so great if the sex isn't great- that's a big issue to be going wrong.

Sorry you are angry- but there is a definite communication problem here- you are passive and won't speak your mind- how will you ever get what you want? How can he hope to please you in bed if you can't say how you feel about noses!!!

If his mmmmmming turns you off- ask him to turn it off- but it sounds that with nose rubbing ( quite sweet i think if done as a joke- and not all the time!) and the mmming as well, you don't get on too well between the sheets?

[peggotty]

Does he actually enjoy kissing? Is it his way of trying to stop?!

[AnyFucker]

he sounds like a freak

an irritating freak and not at all "sweet"

do you fancy him at all ?

I wouldn't, I hate all that crap

[skihorse]

Tell him. Men are not mind-readers!

[controlfreakythecontrolfreak]

maybe he doesn't like the way you kiss.... but doesn't know how to tell you.....

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

Well if you don't tell a partner that you don't like something s/he does, it's not reasonable to expect him/her to read your mind and stop doing it, whatever it is.

THough if someone irritates you this much when it comes to any kind of physical affection, it sounds like you would be better off being friends rather than sexual partners as, if you really fancied him you wouldn't mind his particular sexual behaviours and might find them a turn on because they are his behaviours.

[RedCharityBonney]

Horrible. Does he think he's being engaging??

Needs educating, and fast. Or just finishing with.

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

I think that the specific acts that one partner likes and the other one doesn't are irrelevant. What other people feel about specific sexual behaviours that are not exhibited by them or their own partners are even more irrelevant.
Basically, OP: it's not anyone else's job to provide you with a value judgement on whether or not your partner's behaviours are 'normal' - who the fuck cares whether other people do this or not? The point is, you don;t like it, so it's up to you to TELL him you don't like it.

[Overmydeadbody]

What solidgold said.

For goodness sake woman, just tell him if you don't like it, or end the relationship. It's not rocket science.

[OrmIrian]

Sneeze next time he does it.

[Boco]

I had a boyfriend years ago and one day he exploded and said 'I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN YOU STROKE THE BACK OF MY HEAD, I HATE IT, DON'T DO IT, IT MAKES MY SPINE SPASM, IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL, I LOATHE IT!'

And I said 'oh. ok. sorry. '

It really really bugged me that he hadn't just TOLD me, months before, rather than it building up into this awful THING.

Just TELL him, you dont' have to be mean about it, just say 'actually, that eskimo thing is starting to bug me now, can we not do the eskimo thing anymore?'

[MrsEricBana]

As others have said, just tell him nicely that you don't like it (perhaps leave out the bit about wanting to rip his face off!). But, have to say that if he/it is winding you up this much and you can't tell him then it's not looking good. Sorry. (I do that to dh sometimes - hope he doesn't want to rip my face off)