Why is he behaving this way?

[bodenbiscuit]

I have been seeing a man for some time. Lately though he has started messing me about. He texts me and says he wants to meet up on a certain day, but then doesn't finalise the arrangement and ignores my texts asking him.

Last week I became fed up with this and told him to bugger off and after that he kept saying he was sorry and that he wants to see me, giving stupid excuses like he didn't see my texts / phone calls until I stupidly caved in and replied.

Now he is doing the same thing again. Why on earth would someone behave this way?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

oh this is common believe me
he's just messing you about and playing with your head here he obv.gets off on the attention and also likes the control factor
the best thing to do would be to knock this on the head and move on
if he cared about you he wouldn't be doing this to you tho he obv.wants to keep you as an option for when it suits

[mrsboogie]

he's just stringing you along. Don't waste any more time on him.

[bodenbiscuit]

yes I will not bother with him again. Why would someone want to be so nasty as to enjoy messing with another's head though?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

if only i knew the answer to this,have had it done to me and it was truly horrible
i think some people genuinely get off on knowing that they have somebody who they think they can use and basically control when it suits them
believe you me once you make the break and cut the contact here you'll feel so much better for it
i would strongly suspect that he's a player and has other women he's stringing along too

[3littlefrogs]

Run away, and be glad you had a lucky escape.

[bodenbiscuit]

No, I don't think he is a player - seems very inexperienced in the bedroom.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

out of interest did you meet him online?

[bodenbiscuit]

No, I didn't. He does seem very odd - quite socially inept (doesn't know how to flirt etc)

[mustrunmore]

Maybe he has a reservation of some kind about getting involved/you, whether its based on supposition or reality? And too scared to face it head on? So keeps trying to cool things, but doesnt want to really, iyswim?

[madameovary]

You have had a lucky escape.
Pity his next victim girlfriend

[bodenbiscuit]

I just texted him to say that I find his behaviour unpleasant and that I don't want to see someone who enjoys messing with my head and he has replied saying he wants to see me now wtf? I don't understand why people have to play nasty games.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

of course he will
this is the line an exbf of mine took til i ended all contact with him

[bodenbiscuit]

Thing is he is now trying to make me feel like I am the one being unreasonable and saying he can't understand why I'm upset.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

Say goodbye.

It isn't worth this much stress just to have a boyfriend.

There is shy, (no clue how to flirt) and there is being a dick head.

[nikki1978]

If he is a bit socially inept and therefore possibly not used to dating do you reckon some idiot mate has given him the idea that women will be more attracted to him if he mucks them around (the whole treat em mean keep em keen crap)?

Not that it is any excuse for his behaviour but so many men think this is true (and for young naive girls it often is).

Either that or he is just a messer like everyone else says. Definitely dump him either way. Sounds like a very immature little boy.

[warthog]

sounds to me like he has a few plans on the go and leaves you hanging to see if he can get a better opportunity. sounds awful.

don't respond anymore, is my advice.

[bodenbiscuit]

Well I can't believe he doesn't know that what he is doing is messing me about - he pretends he has no idea why I'm upset.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

oh please just knock this on the head and ignore
he's taking up far too much of your headtime

[bodenbiscuit]

I know seriouslyblonde. But I find it hard to let something go without a second thought when I have invested a part of myself in the person's affections. Obviously I need to review my screening procedure on dates.

[Tortington]

i think, as some people thnk that the internet isn't real, that the same kind of thing ocurs with text. it seems like its ok to be an out and out fuckwit using text.

people argue via text - i see them posting about it on MN! i'm not that old...but seriously i think if you blocked your number and rang him and asked him straight out what the bloody hell he was playing at and that you didn't want a relationship with an introverted egomaniacal bored person who has nothing better to do than mess you around - that he might actually pee a little in his pants.

i think all this texting malarky is bollocks

[bodenbiscuit]

Good point custardo - I expect he wouldn't answer his phone though!

[AnyFucker]

I am sooooo with you on this custy

I wish people would just bloody speak to each other instead of hiding behind texts, FB etc

OP, ring this bloke up, give him a piece of your mind and ask him what the fuck he is playing at

then tell him he's dumped

so satisfying

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

believe me i do sympathise i was going out with the most awful man who did the whole mind games scenario to me
i was also partly emotionally invested and because of this he upped it even more
the day i finally cut all contact with him i felt such an overwhelming sense of relief
ignore and move on tho be warned to expect him to come out of the woodwork in the future
these types always do