fed up with trying...but i could be pregnant

[mumnotarobot]

as the title says... im a fed up with trying. I have been with my partner for almost 4 years. I dont see things improving. I feel like im constantly complaining or nagging for him to do 'more'. Its me that make arrangements for us to do things together. I am tired of being in a relationship but living life as a single person. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont have the energy to try anymore. I want to move on. I am fed up of being held back. I love him and i know he loves me, but i need more than words.
I could be pregnant and i should be overjoyed but infact im scared because im so fed up with him that i dont want anything to do with him anymore. Im feeling really down right now, i could do with some helpful advice.
Thanks

[FabulousBakerGirl]

You need to find out if you are pregnant.

You can't stay with him because of the baby.

What do you want to do?

[HolyGuacamole]

First step - take a pregnancy test as soon as possible. Then you can deal with it all taking into consideration the outcome of the test. You need to know where you stand. Do you have existing children?

[mumnotarobot]

I have a ds who is 6 from my previous partner. My ds and dp have a really good relationship. My ds calls him dad. He is a good dad but sometimes he forgets that i am a single mum. I dont have a alot of family here infact tbh i only have my mum who doesnt live close. We chat on the phone constantly but it would be lovely if i had some close by family. I have a few good friends but most of them have partners or dont have children so i tend to be very much alone with my ds. I am constantly planning or arranging trips for me and my ds so that we wont be bored in the flat alone. However im no robot and sometimes i crash and burn and i only wished my dp would actually understand that i have a lot on my plate. We see each other once a week (if that) he lives in another borough and im just fed up with his lack of committment to make us a proper family. If im honest i do think its his way of having his cake and eating it. Im just so lonely sometimes. I want to do things as a family and when i tell him these things he looks at me like im wierd. And when he does come with us we end up rowing. He can be so miserable its not even funny.
I DONT WNAT to be pregnant!!

[thesilverlining]

ok my thought process in your shoes would be....

I've spent 4 years with this person.....

the time has come to sit and discuss whether we take it to the next level (and if he says hes not ready then stop wasting your time with him).....

ok I might be pg - great if I am as I CAN do this on my own if I need to (as proven by raising eldest 6 yr old single handedly) and even greater if it gives him the kick up the ass he needs to move in and be a proper family

he is either having his cake and eating it or being a clsssic bloke who thinks "i get what I want and its all good as it is so why change anything and risk fuckign it up"

eithetr that or he has a whole other life in that other borough.............

talk to him first and foremost about where he sees your relationship going. Start by saying "you know its been 4 yrs since we got together?! I think it would be a good time to talk abotu where we go from here - ie are we ready to be a family? I think I am what do you think?"

Or somethign like that - HTH