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Relationships

Eeek - just did somthing that may have been a bad idea?

12 replies

TitsalinaBumsquash · 14/05/2009 22:45

Quick background.

DP has no contact with MIL, he had a fair bit with FIL untill FIL's marriage broke down and FIL dissapeared off everyone radar for a while.

FIL then added DP as a friend on facebook and DP sent him a messages basicly saying 'Hi how are you, can you call me to let me know your ok........' basicly just a light hearted friendly message.

FIL updates his status very rarely but now he has so has obviously been on facebook but hasn't replied to DP, this has happened twice.
DP is getting really upset, doesn't quite know why FIL isn't speaking to him ect.

Anyway FIL is also my friend on Facebook and i have just messaged him a very blunt but firendly message saying 'Please call/email/txt DP he misses you and needs his dad around, he thinks he has upset you in someway, is this the case? We appreciate you have had a hard time but this is really gettng to DP.'

I haven't told DP i have sent FIL this message, i probably shouldn't have sent it but its eating DP up inside.

Should i fess up to DP or just leave it and see if FIL replies or gets in contact? Chances are he wont but you never know!

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Curiousmama · 14/05/2009 22:47

I'd tell dp if it were me as if it comes out he may be upset? I know you had his best interests at heart. Did you write it on his wall or a private message to his inbox?

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Doodle2U · 14/05/2009 22:48

Leave it - otherwise, if FIL doesn't reply to you either, your DP will be doubly upset.

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TitsalinaBumsquash · 14/05/2009 22:52

I wrote it in a private message so DP wont know.

It's just frustrating and wierd, dp and fil had a good relationship, dp was the first person fil rang when his marriage broke down, it was a real nasty quite quick split that fil wasn't expecting he also lost his 2 yougn children, his ex wife told a load of crap to the courts and got permission to move out the country with them.

Then we vistied him he was really low and thin but seemed to be coping then we couldn't get him on the phone, then his phone got cut off, then that was it we didn't hear from him for months, neither did his friends or business partners. It wasn't untill the Facebook thing that we knew he was ok, DP even had the police looking for him to make sure he was ok.

He has met another woman and spends most him time in the USA now, thats all we know.

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mrsblanc · 15/05/2009 00:56

I don't think your message is so bad.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 15/05/2009 00:58

I don't get this modern new fangled stuff

Why can you not pick up the phone?

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TitsalinaBumsquash · 15/05/2009 08:25

His phone has been cut off so we have no phone number or address for him as he also gave him house back to the bank when he split with his ex wife. It was a very messy split, she left in the middle of the day with all the furniture when he was working and also sole thousands of pounds from thier saving and his bank account. I think he had a breakdown of sorts tbh.

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FabulousBakerGirl · 15/05/2009 08:26

I wouldn't tell your DP yet.

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BecauseImWorthIt · 15/05/2009 08:27

I wouldn't tell DP at all, just wait and see what happens.

Nothing to stop you having a private conversation with his FIL - in fact he may be able to talk to you more easily than his family.

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MmeLindt · 15/05/2009 08:29

Your message was fine.

I would have been tempted to write something along the lines of "You worthless scumbag, get in touch with your son so that he does not worry about you before I hunt you down and slap you with a cold wet fish"

I was close to emailing a friend of DH last year. It pisses me off when friends/relatives do not answer his emails.

Don't tell your DH. If his father gets in touch then fine, but if he does not then it is another betrayal (from his father, not from you)

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Curiousmama · 15/05/2009 11:49

Nothing wrong with that then if it's private I thought you meant on his wall.

Hope he gets in touch must be very sad and frustrating for your dp Also feel for your FIL he sounds in a bad place.

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TitsalinaBumsquash · 17/05/2009 19:56

Just to let everyone know, FIL called DP the next day, full of apologies. Casn't say to much over t'internet but he has apparently been still having a rought time with his Ex Wife.

He says he is coming to stay with us over the Bank Holiday weekend, im just keeping my fingers crossed he will show up and not dissapear again.

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dizzydixies · 17/05/2009 19:58

oh thats fab, thank goodness

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