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Relationships

Is it possible to get married in secret? Anyone done it?

99 replies

stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:16

Or do we have to bring/lynch witnesses?

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Disenchanted3 · 12/05/2009 23:17

Oh howfantasti

Wish I had done that

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stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:19

no tips then?

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IwoulddoDrWho · 12/05/2009 23:24

Yeah, my Mum didn't come to either of my weddings. Well, she didn't know about the first one, so maybe the second was spite?

Myth says you do need 2 witnesses, but they can be random strangers. Is that right?

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stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:32

yeah, 2 witnesses seems to be the thing. Am shy!

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Fimbo · 12/05/2009 23:40

I think Expat may have. I know she pulled a couple of witnesses off the street.

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IwoulddoDrWho · 12/05/2009 23:40

Is that why the big secret thing? It could cause hurt - I speak from experience!

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Fimbo · 12/05/2009 23:42

By expatinscotland Sat 13-Sep-08 00:15:50 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster
pucca, we married in a registry office with two blokes pulled off a park bench as witnesses.

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Fimbo · 12/05/2009 23:44

Here's a wee snippet more:-

By expatinscotland Sat 14-Feb-09 20:27:08 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster
Congratulations, SoWhat!

We decided to marry, and the next day we went to the Registry to see when we could get a date (DH has always worked shifts so we needed a date/time when he was off because funds were scarce at the time).

We only waited a bit after the mandatory 14-day wait period in Scotland to get his day off.

We married at Leith Registry House where his own birth had been registered a fortnight and 3 days later.

We saw two suits sitting on a bench and approached them to be our witnesses.

After checking it out with their boss and promising to send photographic proof - including a photograph of our marriage certificate! - they were game.

We treated them to a nice meal at Zizzi in the Ocean Terminal Shopping Centre afterwards. Free champers for the table! It was their first wedding.

I don't think they made it back to work in the Executive, but we heard from them once more later they didn't suffer any negative consequence - came back with tons of photos and the proof of the license, and I sent their boss a nice written thank you and a voucher from Boots .

So it was all good!

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stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:47

Do you think it would cause offence? Our families are quite relaxed, but as my parents are divorced it could be all a bit wierd to have the traditional set up.

Plus, don't like dressing up, not religious, adore each other, 2DC's to factor in and think it's daft to spend loads of cash that we can't afford.

I suppose I was hoping people wouldn't be offended but would think, aww, how lovely!

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stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:52

Thanks for that Fimbo. That's kind of what I thought we'd have to do; the thought of accosting strangers is a bit daunting.

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stubbyfingers · 12/05/2009 23:53

nice story BTW

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StayFrosty · 12/05/2009 23:56

This reply has been deleted

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stubbyfingers · 13/05/2009 00:01

Sounds like a challenge!

If you don't mind me asking, why are you thinking of this route to domestic bliss?

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solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 13/05/2009 00:06

Yes, you can do it with any two random bods off the street as witnesses. However if either one of you looks as though s/he might possibly not have British citizenship, the registrar might be a bit sniffy.

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StayFrosty · 13/05/2009 00:13

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stubbyfingers · 13/05/2009 00:28

Not weird at all!

I can empathise with the, 'not us' thing about big weddings; I would look right daft in a big frock! And we're both rubbish at that whole hosting/small talk thing.

Also the PITA thing about organising around babies/children. In fact, I have no interest in frocks/flowers/cakes/cars etc.

We've been together for a long time and we still actually like each other (which is a novelty amongst our peers) and I agree that the big wedding stuff is for youngsters, or at least newer relationships. I wish we could just go off and have a nice day on our own

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StayFrosty · 13/05/2009 00:37

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kickassangel · 13/05/2009 00:58

i have a suspicion that if you are planning not to have any guests, you can inform the registry office in advance, and they have staff who will witness for you. i also think there was talk of stopping the 'pull 2 people in off the street' approach, as they don't know you, so can't vow that all is legit.

no idea if i'm right, why don't you google it under registry offices? (may do that myself now, just to be nosey)

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stubbyfingers · 13/05/2009 01:00

omigod, hadn't even mentioned that hen business where everyone does things they don't want to, wearing clothes they wouldn't be seen dead in!

Yes, you're right. It would be doing everyone a favour.

DC's are 1 and 3 so I'm hoping the grandparents will have them for a bit. Not sure I would be timing it in with naps as I'm not priveleged enough to have well behaved babies!

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stubbyfingers · 13/05/2009 01:01

Ooh, kickass, that's what I wanted to hear! thank you, will google.

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TwoScrambled · 13/05/2009 12:16

We got married in our lunch hour, witnesses were office staff from the registry office Easy! My only worry was that I would have to find two strangers off the street, as they couldnt (and shouldnt I think) provide them, but they were nice and did!

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Gumbo · 13/05/2009 12:22

We got married at the local registry office; we asked our neighbours the night before if they'd be witnesses, but didn't tell/invite our familes. It was easily the one of the best decisions I've ever made (15 years ago, still married).

And if I had to do it again I'd change nothing!

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IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 13/05/2009 12:27

Ooooh we are doing exactly this in 2 months. WE are waiting until we both have a few days off together. I posted on chat yesterday asking if people would be a witness at a strangers wedding.

We are going to drag along dp's best friend but not tell him why we want to meet him until we actually get there and a lovely m'netter has offered and I have accepted if she is free on the day.

Best friend will be easy as we are doing it in the week of dp's 30th birthday so just gonna tell him to put on a shirt we're going for lunch.

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thesilverlining · 13/05/2009 12:52

you need two witnesses - me and H married in secret (well my priest knew of course as he married us!) and we just hoiked in 2 mates the day before to be witnesses. They were sworn to secrecy too.

It can be done!

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mejon · 13/05/2009 13:23

We did it nearly 3 years ago. We only had DH's best friend and his wife as witnesses and had told no-one else. Went for a lovely meal afterwards. After the event, we sent close family and friends a nice card with a photo to announce the good news.

We're not 'party' people and the thought of wearing a wedding dress and all that jazz wasn't at all appealing.