melted

You need to protect yourself both financially and emotionally.

You are ultimately not responsible for your H.

I would set up a sole account for your own self and transfer the funds from the joint one into that.

Ready - good news on the transfer to a new house. Hopefully by the time you leave there you will have a new place to live.
Melted - welcome. I agree with the others that you need to pull your money out of the joint account and keep it protected.
Secret - I missed that programme but am downloading on iplayer as we speak. Thank God for the internet eh? It does look interesting. Thanks for pointing it out.
Hope everyone else is doing OK and having a stress free weekend.

Gah! This is driving me nuts. I only have my mob, but it is infuriating that I can no longer post a essay in one go!!!

Anyhow, have a good weekend everyone, stay safe, sending peaceful vibes

r4ac xx

... tues last week (3rd?) I reported him to the police after he'd tracked down my car while I was visiting a friend in my home town and stuck a letter (hosp, about ds) with ''love you all xxxx'' written on the envelope. I know it doesn't sound like abig deal, until one tinks about the amount of effort it took, and the nasty why won't he leave me alone scarwd knot in my stomach. The plus side it's more evidence for staying in this town.

... I've got a tummy ache routine, but as soon as we turned off towards oxford she magically recovered. So as a combination of different professionals saying they are very uncomfortable with the amount of stress she appears to be experiancing, and dd2 beginning to come down with a nasty virus (her playmate here is just getting over it) we have pulled a sickie on contact tomorrow, the older 2 will do their ballet classes. STBXH appears to be keeping a low profile atm...

Hello, how is everyone?

Big day for me- I posted the notice on the tenancy of my old house today, yay! Just playing the waiting game now. The other good news I've had is I've been offered a place in the 2nd stage house they have here. Big bonus to that is new licence so 9 mth clock is reset. With luck I'll have been housed by the time that is up.

contact is still really messing with dd1's head. She throws up in the car when we travel to our old town, for contact or friends. She started the ...

Hi everyone, welcome MC, Hi Ready, Only & Ginnny - onwards and upwards !

MC - just open an account in your name and get everything that's yours transferred into it.

Please learn from my experience. We had a joint account that all the bills went out of (I was the only one paying into it, of course, once he lost his job) but I had luckily also kept my account from before we had married.

Please don't believe a word he says about the finances - you need to protect yourself asap, because one day he will stab you in the back. We had about £900 in ours (in the dark days), despite me keeping him updated about the bills/overdraft etc with statements etc the cheeky ***** helped himself to it one day and there was nothing I could do about it.

You cannot reason with someone who is addicted - I didn't realise just how bad the behaviour could get until it was almost too late. Anyway....Moving On....

Incidentally - EVERYONE - just to let you all know that there is a programme on BBC1 next Wed eve at 2245hrs (of course, there was no way it was going to get shown at peak time ) called "Brought Up By Booze" - you must see it, whether you have kids or not.

welcome! Hope you made a cuppa before reading back

wrt the bank account I'm not sure if you'll need him there , although I suspect you will. I recommend setting yourself up with a new one in the meantime, and transferring all your stuff over.

My dh is very good at saying what he thinks i want to hear. It's part of the addicts behaviour pattern, so I wouldn't recommend trying to push him to detox, he has t do it himself iygwim. It isn't easy, neither the detox, or the headwork to remain clean x

i Am seperating our bank account as soon as. Can i do this without him being there?

He wants to go to a detox programme he says but whether he actually will or not. Nothing he ever said was true apparently so no idea.

Will need to have a read back and see if i can sort out who is who and what is happening with everyone.

Hello everyone else, hope you are all ok. I spent last night making a report of STBXH latest stalking attempt. I'D gone to visit a friend with the dds who lives near my old house and he decided to stick the reiminder for ds's hosp appt under the wiper blade of the car (which was parked down a little side road). 4Kisses on the envelope and ''love you all'' bleugh. Anyway, i hated the nasty knot feeling it gave me, plus he's taken up hanging sround my friends gate, so that was that. To be continued...