Anyone seen a Relate counsellor?

[TheEndIsNigh]

Did it work? How does it work - how many appointments did you have?

What stage did you realise you needed it?

What else did you try first?

[Queenoftheharpies]

Yes. They were ace. About 6 I think, maybe 8.

You phone them up and ask for an initial appointment (which may take 3-4 weeks). After that you are booked in for a weekly slot until you feel you no longer need it.

We went after I found out DP had had an affair and the OW was stalking him / threatening to hurt me - so it was very much an unexpected crisis.

[TheEndIsNigh]

And did it work? Did you get through it? My situation is not so serious... just arguing and drifting apart, (see this thread, but I think we would really benefit from it.

Thanks.

[FelineFine]

Same here.

I walked out on Session 5 or 6.

I wanted to talk about the past and the counceller wanted to talk about the future.

It helped get everything out in the open.

I was stalking DH's OW.

I stopped.

[FelineFine]

counsellor

[Queenoftheharpies]

I can't praise Relate highly enough - they got me (and us) through a very difficult time, both practically and emotionally. 3 years on we are still together and expecting our first baby.

If he's prepared to try it, give it a go. If money is an issue, you can agree with the counsellor what's affordable.

[YanknCock]

We went weekly for about 3 months following a brief affair (me). Took a few weeks (as QOTH said) to get in for the initial appointment.

Did it work? Dunno really. What I remember is that initially the counselor said to us that there were three reasons couples came to Relate-- 1) To split up amicably, 2) To figure out whether they still wanted to be together, or 3) To figure out how to stay together (having already decided that is what they want).

At the start my husband wanted to stay together, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. At the end we decided to stay together.

We ended up splitting up about two years later (even after sex therapy with a private therapist). All the talking in the world doesn't do much good if the actions don't change.

I suppose if I hadn't gone through all that, I wouldn't have been absolutely sure my decision to leave was the right one. FWIW, I'm glad we went, and am usually in favour of people trying Relate before calling it a day.

[lastshot]

we are going on friday.

to cut a very long story short this is our last shot at keeping our marriage together,i dont think i want to be with DH any longer but im not sure,DH is adamant that he wants to stay together and has promised to work on parts of the marriage that arent so good,but hes promised that before many times.

3 weeks ago i told him i wanted to seperate for good,and he booked relate and begged me to go with him,so i said i will but i have also told him not to expect miracles as i think i have done all i can to save this marriage and am not investing any more energy into it.

so we shall see.

btw i might sound heartless but im not,if i was to say some of the things that have happened i prob would be recognised straight off and i want to keep incognito for a while, but ill let you know how it goes on friday.

[Mugonmyforehead]

We are going at the moment and we are not finding it at all helpful. The counsellor keeps focusing on things we think are totally unimportant and not on the things we see as the problems.