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Relationships

DP wants to invite a mate to our 'family only' wedding...

6 replies

MildWest · 01/05/2009 18:10

Ok, so we have decided to have a low-key family only wedding, then a party for family and friends the day after.

To my mind, low key means a simple, brief ceremony followed by drinks and dinner in a nice restaurant. Informal dress for me, no bridesmaids etc.

DP is insistent that his 'best man' comes to the wedding. He is seeing it as a formal occaision, whereas I have in mind something much more informal. I really don't see the need for a best man (plus he isn't family!!), but it's clouded by the fact that i also don't particularly like the best man - and DP knows this. Me and Best Man have only ever spoken about 2 words, to be honest I think he resents me slightly.

So, do I 'give in' and agree to the best man coming, only to be slightly annoyed that he is there, or really put my foot down? I have some close female friends who also know DP really well and we've spent a lot of time with as a couple - I would feel wrong to have 1 of his friends present who doesn't 'know' us as a couple, at the expense of my own friends, but as soon as we start inviting friends, the whole thing starts to snowball.

Help! How do I get out of this predicament, as at the moment I'm very stubbornly thinking about cancelling the whole thing!

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IheartNY · 01/05/2009 18:12

I think you need to talk first about what kind of wedding you want as at the moment it sounds like you are planning quite different events!

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MildWest · 01/05/2009 18:15

Quite! Have just posted in AIBU www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/748621-to-not-want-DP-to-invite-a-mate-best-man as think it's better suited there...

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 01/05/2009 18:16

It's his wedding too. It obviously matters to him and I don't think it would be the best start to your marriage to be falling out over this, would it?

Far better to say "fair enough darling, if it's that important to you, we'll each have one non-family member there" then choose your best mate to be your, what? bridesmade? maid of honour? whatever?

Or compromise another way - family only wedding then party at your place / pub for all your mates later/soon after.

I know you want low-key, but I am also sure your friends would love to celebrate in some way with you.

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tiredemma · 01/05/2009 18:16

I have answered your other thread

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Podrick · 01/05/2009 18:17

If your dp wants his bf to be there I think it is a bit mean to deny that request tbh

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janeite · 01/05/2009 18:19

YABU on this one too methinks.

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