Do trial seperations work? likely outcome?

[mpuddleduck]

I have started a new thread for this question, I have 2 other threads relating to an incident where dh was violent towards me in front of my children. (not for the first time, but not a regular occurance either).
Anyway, yesterday I told dh I thought it better we try and move on and one of us should move. He is thinking temporary seperation to give me time to sort my head out as he doesnt want to go. I'm not sure if temporary seperations ever work?

[GypsyMoth]

I never went back or looked back when we had ours!

[Ronaldinhio]

Haven't read your other threads but fwiw

please leave him or allow your children to leave your household rather than have them grow up like this.
If you don't value yourself enough then value them and allow them a safe and loving upbringing free from violence or the fear of violence.
Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear.

[mpuddleduck]

Ronaldinhio, the reason Iam considering a seperation rather than leaving outright is he has stopped drinking and wants to change, Iam finding it really hard, but think maybe I should give him a chance

[Ronaldinhio]

I'm very sorry that you have gotten into this situation, truly I am.

Everytime he has a drink and slips up you'll blame the booze and not him
Or yourself
Or anything else

Factually he will continue to hit you and damage you and your children
Factually

Have you considered allowing someone else to give your children a loving and safe home whilst you try to eek out an existence with this criminal?

I know that that sounds hard as hell but I lived through it and it was a shit existence.
Make this a real break
Value yourself
Value your children

Imagine watching someone beat your daughter
Imagine your son beating his wife or children

Of course he doesn't want to go he'll need to find another whipping boy.

[sleeplessinstretford]

people who drink/take drugs are different when they stop.
he has to get the fuck out and sort himself out and then you can see what's left and if it's worth saving. people who have had issues with substances are often different when they no longer have the crutch to rely on though.good luck-you should see how you feel when he's dry and not before though kid.

[Ronaldinhio]

stretford, he's not an alcoholic. Not all people who are abusers whilst using stop doing so when they stop using.

puddleduck you need to see that any abuse is too much my darling
he doesn't have to hit you everyday to make it an issue
Nothing that you do or don't do will affect his chosing to abuse the trust and love of those closest to him

He doesn't deserve you and you and your children don't deserve this life