opposites attract

[noddyholder]

Do you think this is true?My dp and I are v different.He is a rocky drummer/muso with tattoos and I am a bit more living etc not rocky at all!He has spent yrs touring and all his bandmates are the same not one of them has a 'rock chick' girlfriend/wife and they all hate that sort of thing on women leather piercings etc.All the wives are quite boden !

[noddyholder]

threadkiller before it even starts

[GentleOtter]

Yes, I think this happens but can work well.
Dh was very shy to the point of being unable to speak, very introverted etc and I was the opposite with a completely different lifestyle to him. The people in our community were quite shocked when we started going out together.
He is now fairly outgoing and confident and I have calmed down a lot. We are good together as a couple and it seems to work despite our differences.

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

I have a similar situation to GentleOtter. My dp has always been extremely quiet in company (have known him since primary school) even people he knows well. I am the totall opposite I am a gob on legs and had a far wilder youth and lifestyle etc.
Since we have been together I am a lot calmer and he is a lot more out of himself. I think a lot of his friends were surprised when we got together but every single one of them has said on some occasion how much happier and more confident he is since he met me and one of his friends wives actually knows what his voice sounds like now lol as he was usually so quiet.

We compliment each other nicely and work well together.

[MrsMattie]

We have similar interests, taste in things, politics, and are both Londoners who couldn't cope anywhere else ...

...but:

• we are from very different upbringings (his disciplinarian, mine bohemian).

• our temperaments are completely different. He is the eternal optimist, extremely positive and motivated, incredibly gregarious/outgoing/social, very calm and logical, has amazing stamina in terms of work and what he can get done in a day, whereas I am moody, temperamental, emotional, like my privacy/space, need time out, get easily stressed over things and have a dark, sarky sense of humour.

A vetinary friend friend once said that DH is like a racehourse and I am like Siamese cat

We've been together for 8 years, btw, and he is my soulmate

[MrsMattie]

Image/clothes wise, as in 'what recognisable type are we - yes, we do 'go' together.

[IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern]

Actually yes image/clothes wise we DO go together but in personality and taste about things in terms of tv films sports etc very different.

[PlumBumMum]

Gentleotter & Ineedacleaner I find that really funny as my dh would have been the quiet one, whereas I never shut up, but now I joke how its such a role reversal, I think we bring out the best in each other

[GentleOtter]

We were like Phil Drabble meets Courtney Love.

[solidgoldshaggingbunnies]

Well, sometimes personality types that are dissimilar complement one another and it works quite well. Sometimes one partner is bored with people who are like him/her and fancies a change - this can be great or go horribly wrong.
SOmetimes people look for partners who are the opposite of them because they actually envy those opposite characteristics and want to emulate them - this sort of relationship doesn't last very long on the whole as one or both partners changes so much in the course of it.

Actually, a common thing with 'opposite' relationships is that one partner has an ego/personality so large that anyone s/he dates has to be the supportive/background type or it's one long clash.

[Bubbaloo]

Dh and I are complete opposites in every way.I honestly can't think of one thing that we both like,but we've been together 18 years and are very happy.

[LaQuitar]

interesting thread.

My ex and i were very very similar. Both very passionate, argumental, leaders, strong opinionated, and ....too spontaneous - the number of times we went to airport with no passports or missed planes/trains and weddings or holidays!
As a result of being so similar the atmosphere was always explosive, huge rows every day.

My DH is opposite. Calm, logic, person who plans ahead etc. It works so well. I have become much calmer.

I think is good because when two partners are different in personality they compliment each other and there is a balance.

Also it must be good for the offsprings as they will take the good bits of each personality

[LaQuitar]

oops
i think i meant to type complete each other not compliment

[leonifay]

me and my dh are complete oposites too, i'm very scatty, last minute, can do it later type of person. he has to have everything scheduled!
we rarley have arguments and when either one of us cant work out how to do something or need to look at it from a diffrent perspective the other one can always help. i think opposites work really well together.

[noddyholder]

We have been sorting out all our stuff today for car boot sale tomorrow and it is hilarious Mine lots of things like bunting designery fabrics and old vintagey stuff and his rock cds drum sticks old skull typw t shirts looks like 2 different lives in the back of the car!His is all mint condition in original packaging labelled etc etc (virgo)mine is spilling out of old baskets and lace pillowcases!

[whereismumhiding]

My DH and I are different. We had similiar goals underneath but different approaches at times. He just told me tonight that is why he left me last Sunday. We are different, hence he doesnt love me anymore.
I was glad to read this thread, as it reminded me that people normally enjoy differences as it makes it more interesting.

[noddyholder]

I think the differences make it fun.i couldn't bear a male version of me far too bossy and controlling

[LuluisgoingtobeanAunty]

DH and i have nothing in common, we have been together 12 years. so soemthing works !

he is the opposite of teh sort of man i thought i would end up with too

[solidgoldshaggingbunnies]

There may be something in the fact that, for a partnership to work, the individuals involved have to have complementary qualities. DS dad and I (not a couple) are worryingly similar in a lot of ways which is why we make good co parents and are on amicable terms, but I rather think that trying to be a couple would lead to murder being done.

[MuffinBaker]

I think DH and I are quite different but the same in what counts and therefore it works for us