Assertiveness and self-esteem

[nomorechoc]

Any tips on how to improve these things?
Not too bad with DH but with the general public, MIL and others i really struggle to be assertive (due i think to low self-esteem).
Wondered if anyone has managed to overcome this?
Part of the problem with assertiveness i think is that i feel v sensitibve towards other people and feel very uncomfortble if people are going to be upset..
TIA

[chocolateismyonlyweakness]

It could be worth checking out your local childcare centre - ours does courses on confidence building and assertiveness, they are free of charge. Sometimes local Adult Education Centres do courses as well.

I suffer from low confidence, and I found the course I did at the centre really helpful, you need to work on accepting yourself for the way you are and looking at your strengths. It's a good quality to be sensitive towards other people and to care about their feelings!

Maybe some other mumsnetters will come along and recommend some self help books, I don't know if you would be into that?

[howtotellmum]

Being assertive means accepting that you are an equal and have a right to state your opinion- but in a non-aggressive way. There are various ways of using speech so that you do not come over as arrogant or aggressive.

Have you looked at stuff on the web? There is a lot of help on there, telling you how to bemore assertive.

If you can afford it, why not try a class, or find a coach who can help you 1:1?