I have been on this thread a few times and explained my complex family situation. I just need some advice regarding a new situation.
To recap - My biological mother (who is now sadly dead) had schizophrenia and my biological father left the scene. My maternal grandmother and her second husband (not my biological grandfather) adopted me. I have never met my bilogical grandfather (maternal grandmother's first husband).
My bilogical mother's sister (my aunt) wishes me to meet my grandfather (her father) for the first time. I have a DS and am pregnant with number 2.
My adoptive father and mother are toxic (0r I believe them to be). They have led me to believe that all these years my grandfather wanted nothing to do with me, that they tried to instigate contact but he made it awkward and that he is a horrible man.
Now my aunt (who is close to him but doesn't have a great relationship with her mother and my adoptive mother) tells me that he has always been depserate to meet me and is a nice person. I have intially agreed to this. He wants to travel a long way and is elderly. I feel he deserves the chance to meet his family I feel. It will be after the birth. I struggled when DS was born, I feel because of family issues. I had counselling and ADs and feel a lot stronger and am really looking forward to this baby. I don't want anything to ruin that.
This makes me so angry towards my toxic parents. The lies and manipulation. I believe they have never wanted me to meet this man for their own selfish reasons. My father bullied and emotionally abused me and my mother is not much better. Wanting to fill the role of adored mother without any cinsideration for my feelings for my 'real' mother.
In the end I have a wonderful DH and family of my own. I am really close to DH's family who have filled the role of supporters and do know about my family situation. However I feel particularly in my Aunt there might be someone in my family finally who I can talk to and wish to build some bridges with her. My father always tried to poison my mind against her also and my mother has stood back and let him criticize her daughter. They disgust me.
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meeting estranged Grandfather/toxic parents help need to talk!
7 replies
roseability · 09/02/2009 13:20
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