What do you consider essential in a good relationship?

[Leka]

My partner and I are going to couples' therapy next week and I am thinking about what I find to be essential in a good relationsip. I think repsect is number one. Any thoughts?

[FairLadyRantALot]

trust
equality

[MissisBoot]

trust and honesty

[fattiemumma]

i would agree with respect. if you both respect each other then there would be no need for mistrust

[Leka]

By respect I mean respecting the person that you are. I get the feeling my partner blames problems in our relationship on my basic personality and if I could just change then everything would be fine.

[bradsmissus]

As well as all those already mentioned, the ability of both of you to keep your sense of humour when things aren't going so well.

[Salem1]

When the two individuals coming together are well balanced and love themselves first.

And just find each other irresistably sexy, hot, funny and fascinating

[SulliedYouth]

Honesty, monogomy, a spark, humour, friendship, trust. Being a team, backing each other all the way all the time. Having your own little world that no one else gets.

[sayithowitis]

Couldn't have said it better if I'd tried Sully!

[slayerette]

What sully said. 'Tis perfectly put.

[paolosgirl]

The same values and the same hopes, dreams and expectations. A good sense of humour also helps (and would certainly help DH who is in A Bad Mood at the moment as he has a cold )

[SpookyMadMummy]

Dh and I were talking about this recently. One thing we realised we did little of was communicate. We have resolved to spend time away from kids/house/distractions and try and go out for lunch or a coffee or something once a fortnight and just talk. Made loads of difference.

[kiltycoldbum]

friendship and laughter

[justgaveup]

'be nice to one another'...can't go wrong if you stick to that!

and a sense of humour!

[Pheebe]

Trust
Mutual respect
Caring, really caring, about one anothers feelings and wellbeing
Regard for each others opinions
Honesty
A sense of humour
The possibility of admitting your wrong without fear of being derided
Willingness to say sorry
Ability to accept one anothers imperfections and see beyond them

The intangibles - love, that need to be near them and have them near you, excitement (that faint leap when you see them after a while apart), wanting to tell that person when something exciting happens, wanting to tell that person when ANYTHING happens

Are all of them essential? I don't know, I've had most of them with previous partners but have them all with DH - some need more 'effort' than others though especially with 2 small versions of DH running around.

Hope your counselling goes well

[nappyzonehasastroppytoddler]

trust, humour (having the same waped soh helps in our gaff), appreciation, respect and the same aspirations.

[cory]

Pheebe's list sounds good to me. The hot stuff is nice of course, but I think relationships can survive beyond that; I know couples who can no longer have sex for medical reasons and still have a very strong relationship, because all the essentials are there. But I don't think sex can save a relationship that is lacking in basic trust and caring.

[paolosgirl]

Completely agree, Cory. My friend's husband had to have his leg amputated after he was in an accident, so obviously sex was off the agenda for a long time. Without the essentials - communication, trust, friendship etc - a relationship cannot function, but it can function without sex if circumstances dictate.

[mumof2teenboys]

honesty, trust, willingness to compromise when needed, communication, friendship.