is your partner depressed?

[MyPartnerIsDepressed]

If so you are spending day in day out with someone who is basically giving you the subliminal message that you are not worth bothering with and not worth caring about.

Even if you canbe rational in you mind and tell yourself it is because they are depressed deep down you are being given a message on a daily basis that will wear you down and erode you self esteem.

[milou2]

I have realised over time that my husband has always been depressed at some level. He just gives one word answers to comments I make, doesn't show normal enthusiasm about silly things. A black cloud comes over me and the whole house when he is due back home or in the house.

He does have fun moments, we can sit round together and watch Top Gear with the boys.

I'm looking forward to the bright day when I live separately from him. I have separated myself off mentally in loads of ways, but am still scared of his disapproval and keep silent about my real thoughts.

I get all happy about Christmas or a birthday, he just trudges on, up early, back late, going for long runs, barely looks at his mother when she comes in for a chat.

The approach I take now is to be my very best friend, to choose not to go down with him. I have said that dealing with dark thoughts is a very common part of being human, loads of people tackle this, but I'm looking out for myself. He asked if I had given up on him, I said I had decided to take care of myself first, keep a certain distance.

LOOONg post, sorry. Tell me about how you are dealing with your situation, or not dealing with...

[milou2]

MyPartnerIsDepressed how are things today?

[lessonlearned]

An analogy that I have found useful - if you see someone being swept downstream in a raging river, what would be the best approach to rescueing them?
You could jump in and try to swim with them, or reach out from the riverbank (preferably having anchored yourself to something solid) or you could throw them a lifeline. All are valid approaches to helping but some are safer than others.

[Daisypops]

Yes I think my DP is depressed. He stays in bed, is unsocialable, doesnt even look up to greet visitors when they come in and gives one word answers. Thank god we live apart. I've tried speakin to him about it but laughs it off. What can you do?

[RumMum]

I've thought that my husband has been like this for years...
and your right mpis that he just does not care about me...
My husband drinks and it just crept up on him.. I'm not sure if the depression makes him drink or the drink makes him depressed... either way its a visious (sp) circle...
we are now seperated as I could not live like it any longer...
me and the children deserve better... I can not help him he can only help himself.. if only he could see the problem...

how are you today mpis...