Just 'let go' of a really good friend (or what I thought was) :-(

[TheSeriousSanta]

Had a really, really good friend for years. Has been there for me through it all.

I know she didn't really like my DH but it seemed OK that we spent time together.

Anyway, about 3 years ago, she told me she'd been having an affair (with the love of her life) for 10 years. I was totally shocked and a bit miffed as she'd denied it loads of time and (in the 10 years) this chap had married, had two kids and divorced, all while he was seeing my friend.

We sort of fell out but made up as she was a really good friend. Then DH and I had a huge fight and she was there for me every step of the way. Said she'd support me no matter what... Until DH and I sorted it all out... Seems one particular outcome she hadn't been expecting was for us to be happy....

So, after around 2 years of trying to be her friend, and getting 'oh, yes, I really want to be friends' and 'I will call you' and 'I'll be in touch' and a million other things, I have decided the only way forward is for me to make the decision.

It's hard, cos I don't want to fall out with her, but feel that the decision really has alredy been made, and I'm really flogging a dead horse, so have just cancelled her friendship on FB and a couple of other things and also on my PC.

Feeling a bit but think this is just an external face of what's alredy happened given she never bothers with me other than to say 'ooohhh, yes, I'll be in touch soon'..

I know I'm doing the right thing but all the same, would you mind reassuring me?

[DA3Mummy]

I've had friends like that who I call / text all the time and get little back, sometimes you just have to close the door on them as sad as it may be at the time.

In time you will realise how much of a friend she was to you as you will either miss her or not....

I had a friend who I lost because I stopped phoning her - exactly the friendship revolved around me calling her, she never picked the phone up to call me.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Take care.

[bluebump]

I had a friend like this, always in a good mood with me when I was doing her a favour, giving her lifts everywhere listening to her problems etc. When I went on to uni I always had to bend over backwards for her to be friends with me whenever I came back. She hates my DP and has told him as such in public. Oh and she called me a snob for buying a house where I did (not particularly special area believe me.)

I stopped phoning her in the end, everytime I saw her she'd say "you never call anymore" and I'd say "you can call me you know" but she never did. That was it really, no big falling out but we drifted apart.

I'm only sad now that we have children that each other have never met. Oh and she ended up buying a house a few streets away from me, what a snob