DH drinks ALOT. We have rules in place re his drinking. He is not allowed to drink in front of the dc. He usually drinks at least 6 nights of the week and it is anywhere between 4 and 10 cans of lager per night after dc have gone to bed. He usually sleeps on the sofa as I cannot bear his drunken snoring. This morning I woke up to him having split beer all over the carpet and he had urinated on the sofa. It is not the first time this has happened.
From reading up on alcoholism I would probably call him a functioning alcoholic. He holds down a job (does well at it really). He is great with the dc apart from not giving them as much time as he could or should. He works long hours and spends a lot of time in bed recovering from his drinking. When he is not drinking he is helpful with them, however this is after repeated nagging over the past few years. He used to be awful, never did anything practical for them and would become abusive if I pushed the issue.
As far as our relationship is concerned, we don't really have one. He used to be very controlling and verbally abusive towards me but over the past 6 months I have managed to improve this with a policy of zero tolerance. Just got fed up with it really and I think he senses that I came to the end of my tether with it, I used to allow a lot of his nonsense because he had a bad childhood and I made a lot of allowances for that. I do not make these allowances any more.
I am frightened that even though we dont really argue about his drinking any more and he does not drink in front of dc they will still be affected by it. I do not drink at all, ever. I thought that my dc deserved at least one parent who did not drink.
Can anyone who is going through anything similar tell me how they dealt with it please? Is this enough to break up a family. My dc adore their father. Help me out please. I am scared I am taking the easy road all the time for a quiet life and I should just be kicking his arse out the door. Have name changed.
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Relationships
Is this enough to break our family up over?
Lametta · 01/12/2008 19:00
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