asked him to leave - please help?

[scottishmummyofone]

I have a few questions and I wonder if anyone could help, ideally soon?

Ok, H and I have been having problems for a while, today I asked him to leave. He refused. He said it's his home (it's in both our names) and I can't make him leave. He said me and dd (10 months) should leave instead. After much arguing and an upset dd, he finally left but I think he will be back.

So what are my rights if he returns and refuses to leave? Ideally we would sell the house and split the proceeds but until I find something else I would like to continue living here with dd.

Also, his parents, his mother in particular, has been verbally and physically abusive to me (swearing at me, slapping and pushing me). H will go to live with them and will probably continue to live with them even if we sold the house (he has lots of debt, so probably would struggle to get another home, I pay the mortage on this one). They say I should not have had dd as she's spoilt! and badly behaved!

I worry about dd's safety up there. If he gets access, how can I stop him from taking her up there? No, I haven't ever called the police on my ILs, I really should have so is there nothing I can do to keep them away from dd?

lastly, he has threatened to go for full custody.

I am so scared. I don't want to lose my baby or my home (at least until I have somewhere to go )

[beeny]

You need to get legal advice straight away and go in having written down your history with him and family.If you presentas calm as possible the courtwelfare officer will listen.Are his parents English?

[scottishmummyofone]

we are all scottish.

[beeny]

I am giving from English Legal system. do you have friends you told at the time who could provide statements

[scottishmummyofone]

not friends, just family but the courts may see them as biased?

[Granny22]

Call your local Women's Aid Group asap. They will be able to give you all the advice and support you need and be able to recommend a local lawyer who specialises in this area. In Scotland, what you need is an exclusion order under the Matrimonial Homes (Family Protection) Act. If you pay the mortgage you are in a very strong position, The purpose of the legislation is to secure the home for the CHILDREN and the parent (usually - 99.9% - the mother with a baby as young as 10months) who has residency.

D'ont know if your H has been violent or abusive but suggesting you left with a 10 month baby on the coldest, positively baltic, night of the year certainly indicates a lack of caring. How can such a young child be 'badly behaved'? She is just doing what babies do. Sending hugs and best wishes.

[beeny]

Make a list of family who can provide statements,they will still carry weight.

[scottishmummyofone]

thanks granny, that is very helpful