It'll be lonely this Christmas....

[MrsSportacus]

First Christmas post divorce and he's got the kids. Picking them up Christmas mnorning and dropping them back to me on the 27th. My family are all miles away and my friends are all doing family stuff. I can't drive and there's no public transport so it looks like I'll be on my lonesome. How can I stop it becoming a bed bound alcoholic misery fest?

[rubyslippersisappearinginpanto]

that sucks

are you sure none of your friends wouldn't invite you?

if not, how about volunteering - IIRC Crisis always need people ....

[nickytwotimes]

That sounds rotten.
There's always us lot!

Seriously, could any of your friends or family come ot you?

[barbie1]

Oh dear, nearly happened to me, as dh works abroad and i live 400 miles from family, no dc yet.....
I planned to have a lie in, warm bath, candles, face mask the works! long walk with the dog and more pampering in the afternoon while watching the xmas film.....oh and a m&s meal for one. In fact im almost sorry dh will be home now, it sounds perfect!
Treat it as a normal day and make the 27th christmas day xxx

[MrsSportacus]

Couldn't get anywhere to volunteer as don't drive.
Most of my family live abroad - I could see my mum but I can't stand my step dad and the feeling's mutual. My friends prob would have me along to their family do but I'd feel such a Banquo - the spectre of Chrstmas past at the table!! I expect I'll get some DVDs, some booze, have a big old wallow in my misery and come up on the 27th to face the world. I feel like screaming every time I see "oooh happ;y family christmas" on the telly...tossers.

[beansmum]

Cook yourself a really nice meal, something your kids wouldn't eat. At least three courses. Set the table properly and open a good bottle of wine. Go for a walk, have a bath, read a book. Try and postpone the misery until a decent hour and then just accept that it is sad and snuggle up in bed with a drink and a snack and crap telly.

[Ivykaty44]

often with something like volunteering there will be others that are in the same position - lonely at christams and will probably be able to give you a lift.

Have a look on your local council webpage for an chances of volunteering?

[MrsSportacus]

Thanks all. I dunno why I posted really..just wanted some sympathy Think I'll try and make it a 'treat me' day..gets some books I really want to read, go for a long walk...then lie in bed and sob, then feel like a prat and eat some chocolate Perhaps I'll meet Mr Right on the way to empty the dustbin tomorrow and I'll be swept off to Paris...you can dream!!!

[barbie1]

mrssportacus i have some beauty products if you want them to have a bit of a pamper? i work in the industry but im having a clear out due to moving around in new year....all new stuff, sample sizes mainly but enough to treat yourself.....let me know

[MrsSportacus]

Barbie...you are a Christmas angel sent from above. ENORMOUS hug. But I'm sure you have chums who would snatch your hand off. Bless you anyway XXXX

[barbie1]

nope no friend here! live 400 miles plus from family and all the girls i know here work with me so we have more than enough stuff between us! if you change your mind you can find me on the mc threads xxx

[brightwell]

The thought of being on your own at Christmas is grim. But I've found it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. I now usually work the Christmasses that dc are with their dad, but I've been on my own in the past. I phone dc about 9am, then I do all the food prep for the next day (they come home on Boxing Day, have a nice leisurely bath, stay in pj's all day, eat chocalates & nice cheese, watch tv.

[Flightattendant4]

Are you 'doing' Christmas with the children on Christmas Eve? That springs to mind - so you get to have a special day too.
Then Christmas day can be your boxing day

[2rebecca]

I found the first xmas without my kids hard, but did at least have a partner. If I'd been alone I'd have gone for a long walk somewhere and listened to the radio or TV in the house, or done alot of jobs to keep me busy and had an unxmasy day. I have never pretended xmas was any other day than 25/12 to my kids as we have always opened all presents on 25th and I would feel really selfish getting them to open their presents from me and my family on a different day for my benefit.
Having said that husbands exwife would never let them open her side of family's presents when with us for xmas and kept the presents until they returned. I always found that sad and mean spirited though, although the kids didn't seem to mind.
Not got my kids this xmas, but do have them at New Year which is more fun now they're getting older and don't believe in Santa anyway.

[TheSeriousOne]

Def. get around to planning something for new Year... Spend the time planning a great New Years evening instead!!

my DH is never allowed to have his kids (my step daughters) for Christmas, but his ex always made us have them for new year - she thought that was the maximum stress for us (she thought we'd want to go out for New year) but DH and I never go out and, over the last 10 years, have got into a great routine of having a house party - the kids ar 11 and 14 now and just love it now.

Also, do remember that you are being a great mum by letting the kids spend time with thier dad, even though you know it'll be really hard for you. That says alot about you.

[Fimbo]

Some of us will probably be around on MN. Come on here for a chat. I did last year as I was bored (yes bored!).

[MrsSportacus]

Thanks everyone.I'm feeling the love. I'm going to have a lovely exciting time with them on Xmas Eve with lots of nice things to eat and 'The Snowman' to watch on DVD,go to bed with them to avoid sitting in front of the telly sobbing into my egg nog then up early to do the whole "He's beeeeeen!" bit (the best part after all). Long walk in the park, something gorgeous to eat, watch some comedy stamd up DVD's, drink a whole bottle of plonk and go to bed. Boxing day I'm going to paint my bedroom.
I am woman hear me roooaaaarrrrrr!

[quinne]

I had an unwanted Christmas alone once and I used it to paint the sittingroom! I realised that if I gave myself the tinniest chance to think about it (or worse watch TV featuring an unending series of people having a wonderful time with friends and family) then I'd be miserable. So I painted the sittingroom instead and listened to music. At 6pm I stopped to put my Christmas dinner in the microwave and by night time I was so exhausted I slept like a baby.
I wouldn't say it was my best Christmas ever but I've had worse and I ended up with a redecorated sittingroom which is better than another 3lb on my hips and a slight hangover!

[guzby]

I am in a big mess...I started a relationship with a man who was just starting his difficult divorce process with previous wife. Our plan was to lie low during his divorce and thereafter consolidate the relationship. But unfortunately, i got pregnant by mistake. We contemplated abortion a lot. But he wanted the baby more than me. So we decided to keep.

We had a 'fake' marriage staged in front of my family at week 8 in order not to abort the baby. From 8-15 weeks, we lived as a 'married couple' socially. At 16 weeks i announced pregnancy to my family. They were thrilled but they believe i had conceived after the so-called-marriage. So i have to guard this secret and perhaps lie to them about birth date of baby.

Then came the big blow..On the 17th week, my partner decided to leave me....(supposedly till he sorts out his divorce stuff. He has already filed the legal divorce papers (Islamic Talaq) but process is not complete socially and he is going through a lot of stress.

And I am living alone now since he left with only the help of a visiting maid. I am 25 weeks pregnant now. I'm Christian and Christmas is coming. I am feeling so lonely and miserable...It's my first baby. I have to go alone to do GTT test tomorrow and i am so nervous.

Should i ask him to come back? Any advice..?