so, i'm curious how other people deal with sexual attractions outside their long term relationship. does the boost to your ego/libido feed back positively into your sex life with your partner? or do you find it detrimental to your relationship - idolising your pash, finding your partner boring etc. ? is it something you do all the time and consider harmless, or do you restrain yourself for fear of causing harm?
bit of background: i've been with my partner 16 years, since we were both 18 (now we have 2 young kids). he wasn't my first boyfriend, but i didn't exactly get to sow my oats as much as i may have liked . i regularly have some crush or other, generally cos i'm feeling a bit frisky and home in on the nearest likely candidate . i hasten to add my crush (if someone real life rather than a pop star etc lol i sound like i'm 14 ) would never know about it.
i don't flirt as such but i do find i often get attracted to people if i'm working closely with them, again (i hope!) they'd never realise this.
i tend to enjoy this as a harmless fantasy but i'm always aware i'm walking a rather fine line - if for example my crush were detected or worse reciprocated i don't know how trustworthy i actually am ( as a teenager i wasn't exactly faithful, although i have been faithful in my current relationship, save the odd snog many years ago ).
i'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life right now and i'm likely to be starting new and exciting things (which makes me frisky to start with) and also meeting new and exciting people... should i just get on with it as part of the fun of life or do i need to get a grip and grow up?
namechanger but not troll, i'm genuinely curious how other people handle this kind of thing as it must be really really common, but not something i really see discussed much.
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Relationships
crushes and flirting as part of a long term relationship
4 replies
frisky · 10/10/2008 14:03
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